3/12/04
Warning: the following missive pokes fun at every religion on earth. Written with tongue firmly in cheek.
This entry is about religion, Kaitlyn, and how you will not be baptized into mine. It’s rather an interesting story but I’ll skim over it for now.
Because at one time in my life, Kaitlyn, when I was a young woman much like you’ll be when you read this book, I got it into my head that I would not baptize my children, but, rather, I would let them “choose” their religion.
This ridiculous notion, Kaitlyn, came about because I was a stupid silly liberal. Do not grow up to be a liberal, Kaitlyn, and someday I’ll get more into this.
My first and only child was my daughter, Melissa, this same woman who is now your mother. I did not have her baptized because I was a cool, happening, liberal woman who was liberated, could bring home the bacon and cook it up in pan.
I was born and raised Catholic, Kaitlyn, and you should know this. Because that same daughter I never had baptized IS going to have you baptized. Only not Catholic and I suppose I can’t blame her.
It’s not like I raised her in any sort of religious environment. And I imagine an argument can be made that I couldn’t have been too attached to my Catholicism to have shunned it so readily rather than pass it on to my child. Except in my older years I regret my silliness and so Kaitlyn, you will never be a Catholic.
To your mother’s credit, or perhaps more your father’s, she is going to have you baptized but into some nonsense religion such as Baptist or some such. Baptists have their masses in people’s homes for God’s sake!
So I thought I would give you an insight into the big movie brouhaha hitting the culture air ways on this day of our Lord, Kaitlyn, and that would be the big blockbuster movie of the day, “The Passion of The Christ”, directed by a current day film star, Mel Gibson.
Someday you might see this movie, Kaitlyn Mae. It will probably be like me watching an old “Ben-Hur” today. In your day there will likely be holographs that emerge directly into your living room and act the whole movie in front of your coffee table. At this time, The Passion of the Christ is the movie spectacular of the hour.
You should hear the pundits reminiscing over this movie, Kaitlyn. The most interesting debate emerging is that the movie might spur up “anti-Semitism”. Which means being anti-Jew, at least as defined on this day.
It eludes me, Kaitlyn, why the movie would cause such a reaction. To hear the pundits speak, including some Rabbis who should know better, the Christian mobs will take to the street and murder any yarmulke-wearing Jews in the surround.
Which makes me smile because go on, at this time both Christianity and Judaism are almost inseparable, at least on a cultural basis. Ask any Muslim in the world and it doesn’t matter to them. An infidel can be Christian, can be Jewish, hey, Muslims don’t discriminate. Christianity and Judaism are quite different, of course, on a religious basis. But in terms of the worldwide culture, they are the same and are even referred to as a “Judeo-Christian” culture.
The notion of Christians suddenly rearing up to kill Jews is incongruent. Though it has happened in the past and I understand this. There was a fellow named Hitler who managed to get a nation of Christians to participate in the separation and murder of Jews. Though I’d argue the definition of Christian to one who would do such a thing.
There is still definitely an anti-Jewish undercurrent still alive in some European countries, remnants of the days when dictators and despots pointed to Jews for the problems of their own leadership. Pretty much the same thing the Muslim nations do quite openly today and with the complete blessing of the United Nations. Of course it is little Israel’s fault that we have no freedom or economic prosperity, or so the Imams preach from their pulpits.
Let’s assume though, as the reality is, that this movie about Christ’s last days was made and released in America. Christians and Jews do not clash in America and really never have. For the pundits and Rabbis to assert such a thing is crazy.
I guess the Rabbis figure us violent Christians are all of a sudden going to find out that the Jews killed Christ and get damn mad about it. Now there’s some skinheads that might take an anger to this but guess what Kaitlyn? Everyone during Christ’s time was a Jew. Christ himself was a Jew. I’m telling you this Kaitlyn, in case those Baptists don’t teach you this.
It then follows that the Jews killed Christ though technically, the Romans killed Christ. But the Jews turned Him in or so that thought line goes.
I can’t imagine a mob of angry Christians all out roaming the streets for some Jew meat, and all because of a movie mind you. Then again the pundits are pulling up the ticket sales and who knows, maybe Mel Gibson himself encouraged the notion.
For a mob of angry Christians, Kaitlyn, you don’t want to meet in a dark alley.
So when you watch that grainy jerky flick called The Passion of The Christ, Kaitlyn, just control yourself and don’t get mad at the Jews.
I fear a mob of angry Baptists most of all.
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