The Lesson of Monica Lewinsky

6/26/04

The Lesson of Monica Lewinsky

My dearest Kaitlyn Mae,

Today’s subject is a bit embarrassing but very important. For this past week as of this writing, former President William Clinton, also known as Bubba, released his boring tome called “My Life”. And anything written about Clinton’s life would have to include many pages on Monica Lewinsky.

Monica Lewinsky, Kaitlyn, was a dewy young thing in her early twenties when she got herself involved with the President in a most intimate matter in the taxpayers’ own hallowed Oval Office. Which was, specifically Kaitlyn Mae, a sexual act of the oral kind. Beyond this explanation, sweet granddaughter, you will have to ask your mother.

So all week the pundits have been asking the former impeached President why he got himself involved in such a predicament which is what the voters have been wondering throughout most of the 1990’s. Clinton responds, in many variations, that he did it “because I could”.

Now don’t let them re-write history Kaitlyn Mae, because William Jefferson Clinton was not impeached because of this sordid and sad little episode. He was impeached for lying about it under oath.

Ah, I can almost hear Kaitlyn Mae asking from the future why would the President have to go under oath for such a thing anyway. And there’s the rub, Kaitlyn. Because of a law that President Clinton signed into effect which stipulated that those with power will not exercise undue harassment of the employees. It’s to protect women in the work force and if all goes according to the intention, Kaitlyn Mae will one day be able to pursue her career without fear that she might have to give sexual favors to those with the power to hire and fire her.

A President of the United States, Kaitlyn, and an unpaid intern, well I’d say that’s power lording over the powerless. Though the vaunted Women’s Libbers changed their tune when this all hit the fan, stating that Monica was a willing participant in the lust.

Bill Clinton, lecher and man of no discernible morals, had quite a few of these bimbo encounters, Kaitlyn, and the lying under oath came as a result of a civil suit by another potential victim of his unwanted advances, Paula Jones. The Jones’ defense team found out about Lewinsky long after Clinton called Paula Jones to his hotel room and requested her sexual favors. But ole Bill and Monica collaborated to lie about it and they did, in front of a grand jury. Only Monica has this dress that had this stain on it (ask your mother about the stain) and through the miracle of DNA, boom, it was discovered that the President lied.

Well, I’m shocked, Kaitlyn, that Bill Clinton would lie to his adoring public. Once he banged his index finger on the table and squinted his eyes in anger and told us minions out in la-la land that he “did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky”.

But he did Kaitlyn, and he lied about it. He was impeached by the House of Representatives but the Senate with its Democratic majority at the time, chose not to remove him from office. Please don’t let the history books reflect differently, Kaitlyn, and don’t let them get away with the misleading “he was not impeached”. He WAS impeached but even at that the senate allowed him to remain President. It’s how the system works, Kaitlyn, and it’s how it worked with Bill Clinton. Impeachment might not mean one loses their job but it does mean that a stain, you should excuse the expression, is cast upon the one impeached.

With this being the background, Kaitlyn, allow grandmother to get to her point. Which is the sheer outrage of Monica Lewinsky who is, as of this writing, in her late twenties.

Monica is upset, Kaitlyn Mae, as she thinks Clinton is treating her as if she was just willing meat who meant nothing to Bubba.

So I have a message for both Monica and Kaitlyn Mae: Hey, Monica, get over it, child. You were just willing meat and you meant nothing to Bubba no matter what he may have told you at the time he was sexually aroused.

Learn this lesson, too, Kaitlyn Mae. In due course you will have to confront such sexual things. Please do not be as stupid as Monica. Which is not necessarily the stupidity of what she did though I must point out that Bill Clinton was a married man and her young self should avoid married men and so should you, Kaitlyn. The bigger stupidity is for her to believe that she had something “special” with Clinton. An intern and the married President of the United States….now there’s a pair with a lot in common.

And now some six years after it all hit the fan this young woman STILL thinks they had some sort of love thing once upon a time? And she’s angry that ole horndog Bill is dissing her?

Go, Monica, go away and suffer the pain. For this is a lesson you should have learned a long time ago yet still you believe the fantasy. Bill Clinton’s interest in you stopped as soon as the stain appeared on your dress.

Grandmother cannot protect you against heartbreak, Kaitlyn. There will come a time when you will love and will not be loved in return. There will come a time when you will be loved and will not love in return. At times, Kaitlyn, to quote a song popular when grandmother was young, “everybody plays the fool”.

Even with the vagaries of love such as they are, Kaitlyn, go with me on this….forget married. Never believe the lies of a married man should you be single, young and female. If the man is unhappily married, as he surely will tell you, demand that he get a divorce and then give you a call.

Also, Kaitlyn, get a clue. If you are an intern, for instance, and HE is the President, well sweetheart it’s probably not love no matter what he says.

As for Monica, well she’s pretty much a big smirk to all of mankind while her abuser gets fame and fortune with his book and its promotion. All of it diminishing her to nothingness.

Which is pretty much what any female should expect from William Jefferson Clinton.