The Olympics 2004

8/18/2004

The 2004 Olympics

It’s time, Kaitlyn Mae, that grandmother discusses the International Olympics to you and I might, should the mood move me, provide an all-encompassing over-view of the events to include the political, social, monetary and scandalous ramifications that the Olympics affect. The sort of things your more ordinary type of grandmother might overlook but as is expected of this one so wise. For now, allow grandmother to state her most immediate thoughts and impressions of the Olympic games being held in Greece during this year of our Lord, 2004.

Beginning with the opening ceremonies which were, as those things always are, very moving, colorful and frankly, spectacular. I’d expect nothing less from Greece, the home of the original games. This year, due to America’s involvement in Iraq what with America taking down a nasty and dangerous dictator while most of the very attendees of these opening ceremonies sat on their butts and did nothing, there was a concern that the American team would be booed on this international stage during the parade of participating nations.

America was not only NOT booed, Kaitlyn Mae, two new democratic countries were in that parade of nations; countries that wouldn’t be there were if not for the United States of America. I speak of Afghanistan and Iraq. No wait, Kaitlyn, grandmother distinctly remembers Iraq had two athletes during the Salt Lake City Olympics. Only Uday Hussein was then in charge of the athletes and this kind fellow, now very dead, used to throw the athletes off a bridge should they not perform well.

Team USA received a very resounding cheer as did Afghanistan (with women athletes for the first time ever), and Iraq. Of course anti-Americans Katie Courac and Bob Costas were the talking heads for the opening ceremonies and Bob had to put down the cheer for the American team as just the Greeks being ‘polite’. Perish the thought that the people attending the ceremonies genuinely liked and admired America, thought Americans to be friendly, loving and giving people, and clapped heartily due to this sentiment. Sure the stands were filled with Americans but there were almost 50% of the stands, by my estimate, filled with families and friends of the other teams. Whatever the statistic, those that had a mind to boo and hiss could have and certainly would have and they would have been heard. There were only cheers, Kaitlyn.

To Katie and Bob’s disappointment, the crowd let loose a hearty and genuinely rousing cheer for team America and grandmother wiped a tear. I had been worrying about it as well, Kaitlyn, as the Democrats keep telling me the world hates America and I keep not believing it. Some of their leaders, on the other hand, got themselves all involved with Saddam’s scams and they tend to project an anti-Americanism their populace does not feel.

At least that’s grandmother’s theory, Kaitlyn, and I’m sticking to it.

As for the events, well here grandmother has to struggle to understand it all and absorb the changes from the Olympics she remembers. For the Olympics used to consist of only amateur athletes. So when I saw some guy named Iverson on the US basketball team and I know he’s some kind of basketball player on a major league team, I was startled.

So okay, I accept that any athlete can participate in an Olympic event but they don’t get paid for participating. Except if they get some kind of endorsement or such on the side as I understand it. Thus Mexico sends its best basketball players which are but wimps compared to Americans but Mexico beats America in the Olympics because many of the professional basketball players didn’t want to participate because, well, there’s nothing in it for them. Except pride in the red, white and blue and golly, if nothing else, you’d think those pampered athletes would have some pride to have Mexico viewed by the world as better basketball players than Americans. Not that I know if Mexico even has a basketball team entered in the 2004 Olympics, but you know what I mean.

Now I must try to understand the various athletic events and comprehend how, and why.

Beach volleyball? Synchronized diving? Badminton? Table Tennis?

Grandmother has given this a lot of thought and I should allow that international athletic events must include sports that appeal to all nationalities. Still, isn’t log-rolling a big-time thing someplace in Scotland? Is log-rolling an Olympic event? For all I know it could be but I don’t think so because I would watch that.

So how do they choose what gets to be an event, complete with gold, silver and bronze medals for excellence? It can’t be limited to events requiring superb use of the body as Equestrian is an Olympic sport and for this the ‘athlete’ needs a horse and indeed, the horse does all the work!

Having no answers for this, grandmother moves on to the events themselves and again, irreverent questions pop into her head. Swimming is one of my favorite events, I don’t know why. But I watch the many swimming races involving the breast-stroke and I wonder if anyone ever swims this way. Like when the rescue boat nears the sailor gone overboard, is the guy doing a handy breast stroke for some practical reason, such as speed or something? Because in all my visits to the beaches of Delaware and Maryland I have never seen anyone in the ocean chugalugging along doing the breast stroke.

The gymnastics are other competitions grandmother enjoys watching but questions pop into my head. Like why would anyone walk along a raised-board, jumping and tumbling on the thing to an end of a smashing dismount? It’s called the balance beam but I wonder who on earth ever dreamed up such a thing. Same with the un-parallel bars. Are these devices designed to test the human body at its maximum whereas, say, swinging around on two more even parallel bars proves nothing?

Still I watch and mostly enjoy those events that interest me. The young gymnasts of Romania, America and Russia are just blossoming womanhood at its finest. They run across the gym and turn their bodies over and over again and you know what, Kaitlyn? Grandmother has NEVER been able to jump, somersault in mid-air to land firmly on her feet. I cannot even imagine such a thing what with grandmother’s body being shaped like a potato. Yet these young ladies somersault two or three times in the air after one big jump!

Consider me impressed.

So Kaitlyn, grandmother hopes you enjoy the Olympics of your day and sweetheart, when pounding on a keyboard becomes an Olympic sport, your grandmother will be bringing home the gold.