Lot’s of Theraayza Heinz, Coulter, O’Reilly, and Retarded Democrat Bush Flyer
CATSUP LADY SHOULD TALK!
"I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job — I mean, since she's been grown up."
Myself is not fooled and I don’t normally subscribe to conspiracy theories. Theresa Heinz Kerry meant to have those words “slip” out of her mouth. Her immediate and ostensibly abject apology was also part of the plan. I can visualize that planning meeting now.
Carville scratched his bald head, hesitated for a moment, took a deep breath then said what had to be said.
“Look, we gotta get it out there,” he said to the assembled campaign planning group. This was not the normal assembly of clerical campaign planning types, or even a more formal meeting of only the principals of the campaign staff. At this gathering there were the REAL planners of the Kerry campaign, the ones who decide what will be thrown out there at risk of a campaign bombshell. The other groups, the minions, are the ones who decide on those inane photo ops involving geese and sterile spacesuit attire. This group represented the cream on the cream of the Democratic party. It was at meetings between these principals that major campaign rhetoric was decided, what to risk and how to handle it.
In attendance were the candidate, James Carville, Joe Lockhart, Harold Ickes and Terry McAuliffe. Sometimes the bigwig meetings might include Hillary, at other times Paul Begalia might be in attendance.
“I don’t know, Jim. The public really does seem to like Laura Bush. We start attacking the first lady it might backfire on us.”
Carville stretched his neck and rubbed his fingers under his suddenly tight shirt collar. This candidate gave him a serious stress rash. He was hesitant to do what was really necessary to win but he’d don a white space suit that made him look like a sperm or engage in a silly wind-surfing photo op that made him look like anything but the common man.
“We’ll get Theresa to do it, John,” Carville said with a patient tone he did not feel. “It makes sense. It’s exactly the sort of thing the public would expect Theresa to say. The lady thing and all that.”
James didn’t want to state flat out to the candidate that his wife was regarded by the American public as a flake and was thus the perfect person to launch a cautious attack on one of the administration’s greatest assets.
“Look,” McAuliffe leaned over to address the hesitant candidate directly. “All we need to do is have someone say the words in public. We’re in such a tight race here that who knows how many voters walking the fence will decide to go over to the Bush side simply because they like Laura. But you and I know that Laura Bush’s never done anything significant in her life except stand by her man with a silly grin on her face. Why should we let the public go on loving this woman when hardly any of those women have the same resources as Laura Bush?”
“I hardly think they have the same resources as Theresa either,” the candidate interjected.”
Carville too leaned closer to gain the candidate’s full attention. “Which is why we’ll have Theresa issue an immediate apology. Sure, they’ll be some criticism along that very same line but …” Carville held up his palms as he faded off. Again, he didn’t want to tell the candidate that his wife’s flaky reputation was useful for such things.
“So Theresa will get all the criticism instead of me or the campaign?” the candidate asked, then smiled ruefully. He understood. His wife did come in handy for such things and when one had so much money such as criticism rolled off the back.
“Like we’ve told you so often since we’ve taken over the campaign,” McAuliffe began, tired of telling the candidate the political facts of life but ready to explain it all again. “All you need to do is say it out loud. Get it out there. IF you don’t then the public doesn’t get the …,” McAuliffe faded off for a moment searching for the proper expression. “alternative point of view. Once we plant the idea in the public debate then all the Laura lovers might, after the righteous outrage ad nauseam, begin to think about it. And that love for Laura might go out the door when the soccer moms realize that the woman hasn’t worked a whit and has had a pampered life they could only dream of. But if we don’t get it out there, yes even with all the criticism we might get, the moms might never think of it on their own. And it might push a few Bush voters over to this side of the fence. In battleground states those newly enlightened soccer moms could change the outcome of the election.”
The candidate nodded understanding.
Carville slapped his knees to indicate the meeting was over. Nodding to McAuliffe he said “Get Theresa a convenient interview and explain it all to her.”
++++
I call it my ‘fly-on-the-wall’ imagining but it’s a back room strategy session as I figure is as much reality as fiction.
MORE Dish on Theresa
We hear, strictly rumor but it’s juicy, that Theresa is being considered as a serious contender for People magazine’s worst dressed poll.
And heaven forbid that we would ever be so shallow as to judge our future First Lady by how she dresses. Not that every First Lady since Martha Washington hasn’t been judged for same and often judged harshly.
By me, no fashion maven, this woman should definitely be nominated, and WIN, the award for worst dressed. Her clothes look like cheap flannel affairs she purchased at the Goodwill.
And the woman’s HAIR! There’s no rhyme, reason or style to that mess on her head. The head of a woman who could buy entire fancy beauty salons with the snap of a finger. Every beautician I’ve talked to has commented on Theresa Heinz’ ugly hair.
Brave Democrats Throw Pies at Female Lecturer”
Make no mistake, Ann Coulter is one very cool tall drink of water. Which is why the left hates her.
She’s a lady who doesn’t have time to waste sitting around hearing the spin from reality by the left. She’s sarcastic, caustic but always painfully truthful. The left hates the truth. It gets in the way of reality as they would design it. As such, they must throw pies.
Two arrested for hurling pies at columnist 10/22/2004, 6:04 a.m. ET The Associated Press
TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) — Two men ran onstage and threw custard pies at conservative columnist Ann Coulter as she was giving a speech at the University of Arizona, hitting her in the shoulder, police said.
University police arrested the men but did not release their identities.
In her half-hour speech Thursday night, Coulter trashed Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry and derided liberals and Democrats while saluting conservative students who attended her speech.
Coulter writes a column for Universal Press Syndicate. Her appearance was sponsored by the UA College Republicans.
Bill O’Reilly-It Keeps Getting Better
We’ve heard but cannot officially confirm, that Keith Olbermann of MSNBC has offered major money for the O’Reilly sex tapes.
Myself considers the whole thing a hoot and doesn’t blame MSNBC for riding this story for all it’s worth. All being fair in love and war, mind you.
And so the details continue to drip out to my everlasting delight.
A WOMAN SCORNED
“Scandal-hit Bill O'Reilly's accuser had a crush on the talk show host and voluntarily engaged in ‘intimate’ phone talks with him, according to a former friend of the woman. But at some point, the ex-pal said, O'Reilly's relationship with Andrea Mackris went sour - and she vowed to take her boss down in a juicy tell-all book. Restaurateur Matthew Paratore gave a sworn statement to O'Reilly's lawyers, saying he thought he had ‘something they should know.’
“...Paratore suggested that Mackris may have been motivated to file suit because of her proposed book. ‘He told us that Mackris confided in him that she wrote a book and the purpose of it was to take down Bill O'Reilly and Fox News,’ said O'Reilly's lawyer Ronald Green. ‘She spoke to a well-known publisher in January this year. She was told it had to have more impact, she had to do more to make the book more interesting and exciting.’ Green said he did not know which publisher she allegedly approached.”
- New York Daily News, 10/19/04
Finally…..Porn for JFK?
Here's something really strange. A group of porn stars have made a 'Porn For Kerry' DVD to raise him campaign money. Remember the good old days when campaign volunteers were just licking envelopes? What happened to that? - Jay Leno
You Gotta Love it.
TOMORROW: The Power of Indoor Plants-WITH LOTS OF PICS
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