By the Time Yon Readers Check Out Below, It Will Be Very Germane
Check out the last suggestion; it’s the best one of them all.
What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers
Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule.
Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open in 3004.
Mix some Elmer's glue into the mashed potatoes and use as spackle.
Fill potholes in bumpy roads.
Stick broccoli and celery sticks in potting soil and display as rare and
exotic bonsai.
Whittle turkey ribs into reusable toothpicks.
Refrigerate and save for when your least favorite relative comes for
dinner a few months later.
Use as practice ammunition for that all-important Christmas food fight
at your brother's house.
Freeze in little bags and save for Halloween next year. Hand them out as
prizes for "least-tasteful costume" and "oldest trick or-treater."
Glue olives, celery sticks, etc. to create clever and whimsical
figurines. Sell at local craft fairs as Christmas presents.
Put leftovers in boxes and wrap with festive holiday paper. Leave on the
sidewalk for slow-witted, unsuspecting criminals.
Place it in your garden plot to create a juicy compost for next year's
vegetable crop.
This is a REAL Recipe
This came upon in my e-box and while someone might be pulling my leg, it struck me as hilarious. I love the bit about the 110 gallons of water.
Stuffed Camel
1 whole camel, medium size
1 whole lamb, large size
20 whole chickens, medium size
60 eggs
12 kilos rice
2 kilos pine nuts
2 kilos almonds
1 kilo pistachio nuts
110 gallons water
5 pounds black pepper
Salt to taste
Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken. Boil until tender. Cook rice until fluffy. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice. Hard boil eggs and peel. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts. Serves friendly crowd of 80-100.
Shararazod Eboli Home Economist, Dammam, Saudi Arabia
A Trip Down Memory Lane
Even I am not old enough to remember Burma Shave Signs. They have been, however, documented in much of the folklore of America. Below a list of some of those whimsical pieces of Americana. From we have:
Burma Shave signs
Oh man, as you eat that pumpkin pie today, let's take a stroll down a
two-lane memory lane. Burma Shave signs were prevalent in the 1930s and
'40s and posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields -- small red
signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each
containing one line of a four-line couplet. (The fifth sign simply said,
"Burma Shave.") So off we go:
• Trains don't wander
All over the map
Cause nobody sits
In the engineer's lap
• She kissed the hairbrush
By mistake
She thought it was
Her husband Jake
• Don't lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
• Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next
Is not amusing
* If you drive
While you're drunk
Carry your coffin
In your trunk
• Little Bo Peep
Was driving her Jeep
Then she fell asleep
Now she's counting sheep
• A darn good driver
With lots of nerve
Still won't pass
While rounding a curve
• Around the corner
Lickety split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
• At school crossings
Heed instructions
Protect our little
Tax deductions
• Drinking drivers
Enhance their chance
To highball home
In an ambulance
• Don't stick your elbow
Out too far
It might go home
In another car
• Both hands on the wheel,
Eyes on the road
That's the skillful
Driver's code
• Brother speeder
Let's rehearse
All together
Good morning nurse
• Do not pass
On curve or hill
If the cops don't catch you
The morticians will
• The blackened forest
Smolders yet
Because he flipped
His cigarette
• Passing school zone
Take it slow
Let our little
Shavers grow
Len Jones
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