Muslim Jokes Thanks To A Muslim
Rush Limbaugh says that humor always have to have a little bit of truth in the mirth in order to be truly funny. Compiled below we have a list of Muslim jokes (thanks to Doc) that make you smile but it's the truth buried in the humor that's almost sad.
Forthwith:
On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom
the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied."
What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You
told her twice already!
How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None!
They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians? It bombed!
What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty!
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!
Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank?
Because just a stone's throw from Israel!
Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every
Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!
A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants
crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian
people!
A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. "Honest,
I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow
myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying
to get laid!"
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity
ward? "Live ammunition."
A Palestinian girl says to her mommy, "After Abdul blows up, can I
have his room?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Can You Go Wrong With a Little Court Humor?
Disorder in the American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
statements people actually made in court, word for word, taken down and
now published by disciplined court reporters who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
_____________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male or a
female?
______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
that I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: Was the patient dead?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
________________________________________
Q. Doctor, if a patient wouldn't want you to operate, would you?
A. All of the patients I have operated on wanted me to.
4 comments:
Why Muslims Commit Suicide
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit
suicide.
Let's see now........................
No Jesus, No Wal-Mart, No television,
No cheerleaders, No baseball, No football, No basketball,
No hockey, No golf, No tailgate parties, No Hooters,
No Home Depot, No pork BBQ, No hot dogs, No burgers, No lobster, No shellfish,
or even frozen fish sticks,
No beer.
No gumbo, No jambalaya.
Rags for clothes and towels for hats. Constant wailing from the guy next-door
because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the
tower.
No chocolate chip cookies. No Christmas.
More than one wife.
No beer.
More than one mother-in-law.
You can't shave. Your wives can't shave. You can't shower to wash off the smell
of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is
picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey. But your donkey has a
better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
I mean, really, is there a mystery here?
:D
Sunday, January 30, 2005
President Bush said, “It was a good day for democracy.”
Spring, Sunday, June 25, 1876
“This is a good day to die: follow me.” “Low Dog”
PBS - THE WEST - A Good Day To Die
Akmed the arab
Akmed the arab came to the united states from the middle east. He was here only a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none could help him.
Finally, he went to an arab doctor who said, "take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes." Akmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, "it worked. I feel terrific! "What was wrong with me?"
The doctor said, "you were just homesick."
If I see a Muslim I either take a shit on them or offer them a goat to fuck. They like both, so it is hard to tell unless they are cramped up or horny.
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