The Fly Lands on the Death Attorney’s Desk
George Felos stroked the spine of his book lovingly. He’d spent many years with the words lodged in his brain. It was a thrill to finally be able to hold it in his hand.
With a sigh he put the book down and considered the Terri Schiavo woman. Of course he’d have to resign from the Board of Directors of the Hospice. The judges would definitely see it as a conflict of interest. Still George thought it was a wise move. If he did it right he could make some money as well as help a brain dead woman receive a final peace.
Felos reached over and touched his book once more. How well he remembered the Browning woman. How she spoke to his soul, how he’d finally been able to arrange to pull the plug. How sweet it was as she approached her final peace. A fly landed on the cover. George swatted the fly away, annoyed.
He’d seen Michael Schiavo visit his wife almost daily. He’d also noticed Terri’s family, the Schindlers, came by frequently. George grimaced. THEY could be a problem.
Felos reached across his desk, shooing the pesky fly away once more. He phoned Michael Schiavo and arranged to meet him the next day at a local restauant.
“There’s talk around the hospice that your malpractice case has been settled. The staff anticipates that you’ll be moving your wife to rehab now.”
Michael Schiavo shrugged his shoulders. It was his plan. Schiavo was still uncertain why the hospice’s attorney had contacted him. He thought it best to say little and let the attorney play his cards.
“Listen,” George Felos said, leaning across the table in a conspiratorial manner. “I’m on the Board of Directors at another hospice and heard about your wife. I consider myself an …,” Felos said then paused. “An advocate for terminal cases like Terri”.
“Terri’s not terminal,” Michael said. “And there is some hope rehabilitation will help. I’ve been so busy testifying in this malpractice case that I haven’t had time to consider all the options.”
“Terri’s not terminal, sure,” Felos said, relieved that Schiavo hadn’t yet made any decisions regarding his wife. “But she’s never going to get any mentally better than she is now. I’ve talked to the doctors, Mike. No rehab’s gonna fix her. It’d be money thrown away.”
“She could learn to eat, she could swallow …” Schiavo sputtered.
“Maybe, Mike. It’s unlikely, but maybe. But if she can be trained to do that it would the absolute most she could ever do. Terri’s could live until she’s in her eighties in the vegetative state she’s in, Michael. You’ll long run out of money by then. She’ll be a ward of the state. There won’t be any nice hospices like this as a ward of the state.”
Michael Schiavo shrugged again. He had no idea what this attorney was getting at.
“Michael,” Felos said softly. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a fly land on the menu. Felos swatted it away with a flash of unusual anger.
“Michael,” Felos continued, “Do you really think Terri would want to spend some fifty years of her life as a vegetable, cared for by the state, living life as a turnip with a beating heart?”
Michael Schiavo leaned back in his chair. During the malpractice suit he’d purged all such thoughts from his mind. The argument for the lawsuit was that the money would be used to rehabilitate Terri. So Michael Schiavo’s attorneys never advanced any argument that Terri wanted to die. A badly brain damaged wife caused by medical error who wanted to die didn’t bring much sympathetic award money from a jury. Sure there would be some award but how much does it cost to die? A badly brain damaged wife that a bereaved husband desperately wanted to rehabilitate brought far more bucks from the sobbing jurors. Besides he and Terri had never discussed this kind of thing. They were both only in their mid-twenties for Pete’s sake. Michael had even told his former girlfriend that very thing when she asked about it during the malpractice trial.
“What are you suggesting?” Michael asked, throwing the ball in the attorney’s court.
“I’m suggesting that you think about giving serious thought to petition the court to have Terri’s feeding tube removed. I’m suggesting that you think about it, ask your brothers. Are you sure that Terri’s never mentioned what she’d want in the event she was ever on life support? I’m betting she did. I’m betting your family will remember. At some point in time everyone discusses this kind of thing.”
Michael Schiavo leaned back in his chair and pondered why this lawyer was actively campaigning for Terri’s death.
“It will take a few years and I’m sure that Terri’s family will be a problem. But YOU are her legal guardian and no one’s disputed this fact for this long. And if rumors are right you have another love in your life,” Felos told Schiavo, waving his fork in the air for emphasis. Then Felos leaned into the table in that conspiratorial fashion.
“Mike, I’ve visited Terri. I’ve sat in the same room with her for sometimes an hour at a time. She’d make noises sometimes but most times the room was quiet. Except for her soul.”
“What are you talking about?” Schiavo said, now wondering where this guy was going.
Felos speared a cucumber from his salad and chewed it slowly. “I’ve got a book coming out soon, Michael. I’ve worked with cases like this. I can, I don’t know, feel these comatose type patients, Michael. You can think I’m a kook and that’s okay. But here’s some more information for you that you might not think so strange.”
Felos ended his thought and continued to eat his salad. Schiavo needed time to let it all settle in.
“Listen I’m on the Board of Directors of this hospice. Before I take your case I’ll have to resign of course. But I can arrange for Terri to be taken there with no charge to you.”
Michael Schiavo’s eyes narrowed.
Felos held up his hands in an expression of innocence. “It’s a nice place, Mike. They’ll take care of her while we file this petition. Only you have to stop any efforts at rehabilitation. It not only would cost unnecessary money, it wouldn’t help our petition to remove the tube any either.”
“What’s in this for you?” Michael Schiavo asked. “Why do you care about this?”
“I care about Terri, Mike, because I heard her soul. She’s tormented. She wants peace. There’s lots of Terris around Michael and most of them just want peace. The right to lifers deny them this. And I will be charging you legal fees though I’ll commit to charging only expenses for clerical help, travel, etc. It will still be a lot. But even if the litigation has to go through appeals there should still be a block of money left in Terri’s account. Which would go to you, of course, as you are her legal heir.”
Michael Schiavo sat back in his seat. He did recall a movie about a woman who was on life support now that he thought of it. He was sure that Terri mentioned never wanting to live that way.
“Mike, it’s might seem mercenary, but it’s win-win for everyone. I’d get some exposure, drum up some new clients. My staff would be busy. You’d get the remainder in Terri’s trust fund. And you can get on with your life. I heard you had one child with this other woman with another one on the way. More than all of this, Mike,” Felos said, leaning close again over the table and lowering his voice for effect. “It’s what Terri wants. She doesn’t want to live until she’s 80 like that Michael. Her soul is screaming for a place in heaven. You’ve been a good husband, Michael. No one could fault you for getting on with your life. While also doing Terri’s bidding.”
Michael Schiavo didn’t believe that crap about Terri’s screaming soul. But now that he thought about it, it wasn’t right to let Terri live like that. The cost of the hospice alone was eighty grand a year. Add to it any cost of the rehabilitation that Michael was going to do and Terri’s trust fund would be gone in less than ten years. She’s only be 48. After that what?
“Listen,” Schiavo finally said, “you get me some expert medical help that will put in writing that no amount of rehabilitation would cure Terri and I’ll think about it.” Michael Schiavo threw down his napkin and left the table without a glance backward.
George Felos finished his salad and smiled. Nothing like talking some good old common sense into these legal guardians. Getting some medical experts to testify to Terri Schiavo’s forlorn condition would be a simple matter. Felos knew the Schindlers would be a problem but the law is the law. Michael Schiavo was her guardian by Florida law and nothing would change that.
Felos sipped the last swallow of his after dinner coffee and smiled. He had heard Terri’s soul. Finally she would get the peace her soul screamed out for. And he, George Felos, would be Terri Schiavo’s saviour.
A fly once again landed on Felos’ table. This time Felos only smiled, picked up the check, and walked away.
Rules for California Free Celebrity Crimes Proposed
In another Kaitlyn Mae Book Blog exclusive we have obtained a proposed rule for free celebrity crimes in the state of California. It seems California jurors want more specific rules on what celebrities get free crimes, what kind of crimes are free, how many and what sorts of celebrity is required to qualify for a free crime.
As follows:
-Sports heroes will generally be granted one free crime going all the way up to and including murder. Two exceptions to this general rule of thumb: if the sports hero is famed for winning any sort of major trophies, such as the Heisman in football, they will be granted up to two, possibly more depending on the circumstances, free murders. Famous sports celebrities should be granted any crime lesser than murder, no limitations, no questions asked.
-Any celebrity who once portrayed a hard-nosed cop on a popular television series will be granted one free murder. But only if the person murdered is of a lesser humanity than the celebrity murderer. Thus it is fine to release, say, a Robert Blake, for the murder of his grifter wife, Bonnie Lee Bakely, but he would be jailed for, say, killing the President.
-Celebrity child molesters should pay off their accusers as often as possible. In the event a child molester is actually brought to court, an attack against the molested child’s stupid mother and dysfunctional family should be considered a legitimate defense. Such child molesting celebrities would only be given free and unfettered molestation of children of dense mothers if one of the following criteria are met:
-the celebrity molester is a musician with at least three number one records
-the celebrity molester should have won a major aware in his/her craft such as an Oscar or a Tony
-the celebrity molester of a lesser status should be given free access of children to molest so long as a)the child’s mother is kinda stupid and b)the celebrity molester is more valuable than the molested child in terms of defective stupid genes of the molested and superior entertainment genes of the molester.
Proposed by the Association of Independent California Jurors and presented to the California General Assembly on 4/4/05.
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Some Miscellaneous Cooking Questions
Myself does not consider The Wise I to be such a good cook. Much of my life has been spent raising a child and running from one high pressure job to another. It’s only the past few years that I’ve had time beyond frozen main dishes and packaged side dishes to even consider the fine art of a home cooked from scratch meal.
Thus my sudden inquisitiveness regarding cooking food properly and to its maximum potential might seem naïve, even a bit dumb for a Grandmother Blogger.
That said, what is it with the pans?
I am perfectly serious. All of a sudden I discover that Teflon pans are bad, light colored pans are good and dark colored pans require a lesser cooking time. Indeed many package directions stipulate the type and color of the pan to calculate cooking time for desired final result.
Well I am baffled.
The Wise I owns many sorts of pans and they are all different colors. Some were mine, some were left here by former owners, some I inherited from various sources throughout the years.
Until lately I would just grab any handy pan of the size required and do the cooking deed.
I suppose The Wise I will have to do an inventory of all pans, assess its metallurgical ingredients, ascertain its color then catalogue according to foods that each can cook properly.
Just as soon as I figure it out.
Okay, forget the pans, let’s move on to organic foods. I see these foods in the grocery and as I pass them by I wonder why on earth anyone would ever buy such a thing.
My first concern would come from my natural untrusting nature. Just because some farmer SAYS he didn’t used pesticides or artificial fertilizer doesn’t mean he didn’t. This is not to cast aspersions on honest organic growing farmers across the land but all I have to go by here is an artichoke sitting on an end of aisle display in a national chain grocery.
My second concern is, well why? Except if a family member has an allergy to, say Diazine, I don’t see much nutritional benefit derived from eating foods grown in poop with all predatory bugs cast away by 24 hour a day human guardians.
Now I must do the caveat thing. Beginning with notifying yon readers that The Wise I is not as stupid as the mother of a child molested by Michael Jackson. Purity in everything is preferable to adulterated and tampered with. Remember Meryl Streep and her ridiculous liberal “alar on apples” campaign? Which turned out to be bogus let The Wise I remind.
Also, I go to great lengths to avoid application of any insecticide and use only my own home made compost as fertilizer. Something I do mostly because on my very small homestead it’s an easy process and I really do not want to risk doing anything in my tiny ecosystem that might affect the bugs that would affect the birds, yada, yada.
To try and grow enough food to feed this country so handsomely by creating millions of compost piles and allowing the bugs to take over the plantings to get the greater part of the yield, well that’s not going to work. Even on this small spit of land the aphids would eat everything in sight including the pet cats.
Now the final cooking question. Not actually a question but something I’ve noticed but hate to admit.
For I do not own a wooden spoon.
And judging by the many recipes requiring that I stir something with a wooden spoon I’m thinking I should get one.
Yet I must wonder, why the wooden spoon? What properties does the wooden spoon possess that require me to purchase one specifically of wood?
Thank God pots aren’t made of wood because that would be one more pot I’d have to worry about what to cook in it and why.
Finally, I think I’ve found the reason for the recent plunge in the poll ratings for President Bush.
Could this cause discontent for Bush?
Nanny Governor Lies Again
A State Police Superintendent Chaffinch is suspended for five months for “inappropriate sexual innuendo”. There’s a lawsuit against the state, settlement of which will be courtesy of Delaware taxpayers. Nanny Minner won’t release details about it. Pending litigation is an exception to the Freedom of Information Act. Does anyone think that Nanny will release this information after this highly paid state official’s case against him is tried? And if she doesn’t, why?
Better, why does this man still have a job?
Read the full opinion from the News Journal Editorial
Secretary Mitchell has been playing word games since he reinstated State Police Superintendent L. Aaron Chaffinch after a five-month suspension. In a brief statement, Secretary Mitchell said the charges against Col. Chaffinch were "sustained" and he was appropriately "disciplined." Period. Last year Secretary Mitchell promised full public disclosure about the charges and discipline of the colonel. What he's offered isn't satisfactory.
We know generally that the charges concerned inappropriate sexual innuendo and language. Secretary Mitchell, and his boss, Gov. Minner, have cited personal privacy, investigations and litigation as reasons for not releasing results under the Freedom of Information Act.
We reject the privacy nonsense. The state Police Bill of Rights specifically exempts all police chiefs and State Police officers above the rank of captain from confidentiality in disciplinary actions. Col. Chaffinch is a well-paid public official and clearly exempt from laws that shield ordinary people from public scrutiny.
If the colonel is blameworthy in these lawsuits, the state should settle or mount a speedy defense. After that, we expect Secretary Mitchell to make full disclosure of the charges against Col. Chaffinch and disciplinary action.
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Delaware Should Hire The Wise I’s Consulting Firm
Noting, please, that the state paid TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS for the consulting firm just to tell it that Delaware’s slogan “It’s Good Being First” is crappy.
It’s not like for those big bucks the consulting firm came up with a new and better slogan or anything is what I’m saying here. And now the state wants to spend FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND TO COME UP WITH A NEW SLOGAN.
From a recent GOP email:
Being first may be a good thing, but it doesn't necessarily make for a good state slogan. Representatives of Delaware's tourism industry say "It's Good Being First," the official slogan for which state officials paid a consulting firm $250,000 more than three years ago, isn't so good.
"Our board really hasn't taken this up, but some of our members have expressed that the current tag line really doesn't give people a reason to get off I- 95," said Catherine Larkin, spokeswoman for the Greater Wilmington Convention and Visitors Bureau. Graham asked lawmakers to allow a portion of the $400,000 in new funding requested by the Minner administration for the state tourism office to be used in developing a new slogan.
Thus The Wise I responded to this email with the following list of slogans for Delaware and damn they came right off the top of my head. The GOP replied to my fine list stating they were ha-hahing and passing it around the office.
For MY list, Nanny Minner, I’ll only charge the state a mere twenty five grand.
"Delaware-Three electoral votes and ready to rumble"
"Delaware-Buy your Amtrak tickets here"
"Delaware-Home of Bidens, Forever and Ever"
"Delaware-Bring your bug spray"
"Delaware-forget the north, come south"
" Delaware -Oceans,Canals,Lakes,Bays"
“Delaware -Little but with a BIG Governor"
“Delaware -Home of the Du Ponts”
“Delaware -a small state greets a big ocean”
"Delaware-Between Maryland and New Jersey"
“Delaware- A rest stop to Disney world”
“Delaware -Home of gambling and Granny Governors”
“Delaware -Stay off of route 1, you'll be fine”
“Delaware -Still using seven digit phone numbers”
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