The Bottom Three were Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey and Haley.
Below was written BEFORE the elimination show of 4/11/07 was aired.
American Idol 2007 continues on and Sanjaya is still around.
Posted right after the elimination round paring the contenders from 8 to 7, we'll post the eliminated plus a critique from the performances on 4/10/07.
Plus the unbelievable Bachelor continues on. We have an update.
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Vice President Lyndon Johnson received the following message from a reservation Native American Indian Chief. The quote reads:
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Children Writing About The Sea:
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)
Okay, we begin with a joke. Below a video sent to me by a reader. It's about Sanjaya, it's a hoot.
Moving on to "Latin Night" featuring Jennifer Lopez.
Melinda began the night's performances and she looked so great I was bedazzled. Those classy pearls, that pretty bejeweled cuff, that shiny straight hair and discrete yet sexy black dress....YOU GO GIRL!
Melinda sang "Come Sway Me Now" and she sounded great. There was an odd bit toward the end of the tune that sort of sounded like yelling.
The judges approved for the most part except Simon, of course. Mr. Curmudgeon stated he not only didn't like the song choice or the performance, Simon also said he thought Melinda looked too old. Simon should stick to singing critiques for his fashion savvy. This is a man who wears nothing but Tshirts, 24/7!
I really loved Melinda's classy come back when asked by the host what she thought of Simon's critical commentary. "I'm so glad Simon finally got to say something bad", as I paraphrase Melinda's classy and understated response. Naturally she's right on the money. Simon has had nothing but compliments for Melinda throughout the contest and FINALLY....finally I tell ya...he got to say something bad about Melinda. We must assume Simon slept well that night.
We move on to Lakisha and first, I'm not at all sure about that dress. First, I wonder if Lakisha wouldn't be better served if she would stop wearing such revealing dresses. Lakisha is not, ahem, small-chested, although she has a lush, hourglass, well-padded figure. But Haley Scarnato knows her strength is her legs and body and next to Haley, Lakisha looks decidedly bigger than she is. The dress Lakisha wore on J-Lo night made her look a bit like Tony the Tiger.
I didn't like her choice of song because I really don't think Lakisha should be singing "Conga" songs. This song screams out for a sexy dance and Lakisha is more about sexy singing than dancing. Judge Paula thought Lakisha sang a song that was too "safe" and I have to agree. Lakisha should have looked for a Latin tune that required a real belting, a tune that would have shown her terrific voice at its best. Forget dancy type of tunes and orange-swirled dresses. And until Haley gets kicked off, Lakisha, quit trying to compete with her and her sexy wardrobe.
Well I just don't like Chris Richardson as I think he's entirely too bland and so-so, especially against such colorful contenders as Blake Edwards. Chris did have a little band thing on stage as he sang a tune titled "Smooth". Judge Paula called his performance "sexy" but that would be the last adjective in the English language I would use to describe Chris Richardson.
Next up, Haley Scarnato and the girl belted out the tune "Turn the Beat Around" while attired in hot pants and a top that allowed the perky breasts to bounce enticingly. Haley's a pretty girl with a very nice body. She sings well although again, up against the likes of Lakisha and Melinda she's hardly got a chance. I guess that Haley supposes that dressing to play up her body is the best chance she has to win this thing and she may be right.
Although I don't think she'll win this contest, Haley's sexiness is keeping her around longer than her singing talent would warrant, as I'd argue.
Simon too remarked that Haley's tactic of "wearing the least amount of clothes" is probably the best chance she has. After reading my above paragraphs, note that I agree with Simon.
Phil Stacey is another fellow that I think is way too boring to win this year's contest. Phil sang a Santana tune "Maria". Phil wore a really stupid looking hat and by me, his performance was not at all entertaining. Simon declared his performance showed no originality.
Phil did provide a great quip with his anecdote about his daughter. Seems his daughter got a stuffed cow and she named it? What else? SIMON COW!
Heh. I forgive you Phil if the audience keeps you around for another week just for this witticism.
My personal fave, Jordin Sparks, sang "The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You". I notice that Jordin had a newish kind of vibrato evident in her voice. At least I hadn't noticed that dynamic in Jordin's voice before J-Lo night. Frankly I though the song and performance was a bit ho-hum and Simon said the same thing.
Ah, my favorite performance of the night. Blake Lewis, wearing orange shoes, an orange shirt and a cool hat, sang a tune I love "I Need to Know". If ever a Latin tune was written for Blake it is this song.
Blake, did of course, do a great job and curmudgeon Simon as well as the other judges all declared Blake's performance the best of the night.
Finally we come to Sanjaya. Sanjaya's growing some sort of facial hair and on J-Lo he had yet another "look". Although Sanjaya never looks bad, he is a handsome fellow with a fetching smile. Sanjaya sang "Besame Mucho", a song I was not familiar with but it was boring as all get out.
Simon has the best critique of Sanjaya's performance: "It wasn't horrible" is how Simon phrased it.
BEST PERFORMANCE-Blake Lewis
BEST DRESS-Melinda Doolittle
BEST SONG CHOICE FOR VOICE-Blake Edwards
WORST PERFORMANCE-Sanjaya, as always, Phil Stacey next worst
BIGGEST SURPRISE OF NIGHT-Lakisha's lackluster performance and bad song choice
MY GUESS AS TO NEXT ELIMINATION-Sanjaya, Phil Stacey next
Below, the TOP EIGHT American Idol Finals for 2007:
"The Bachelor" 2007-Down to An Even Dozen
So the officer and gentleman named Andy Baldwin has winnowed his choice of life mates down to a dozen. This from an original 25 or so. On the night of 4/9/07, three were sent home from the then 15 adoring females left.
Before continuing on, a small bit of muse from this female.
Andy Baldwin seems like a nice fellow and in my day such a fine package of manhood would definitely be considered a "catch". Still and so, as I watch these so-called "Rose Ceremonies" with the wishful women lined up to await their fate, I ponder that no way could I ever stand within a group like that, holding my breath as some Joe gets to pull up a rose, twirl it all about devilishly to finally call a name and put one anxious young lady out of her angst. I'd feel like such a small human being to be put in such a demeaning position.
So okay my rant aside, this IS a TV show and not life so I can get beyond my personal umbrage to understand why these ladies do it. They know what they have to do up front, they consider the chance of winning the bachelor's affections, the opportunity to travel, the publicity exposure, or any and all of these things, to make up for some ersatz humiliation. I would simply never sign up and I suppose many, if not most, young women refuse to as well. Those that do provide us dolts out here in La-La land entertainment of a sort, even it's the sad chance to watch their own lack of pride in action. But I mean that in the best way possible.
On the night of the final dozen, 4/9/07, there were two "group dates" set up and one lucky lady, Stephanie from South Carolina, had a one-on-one date with Andy on a yacht. It was just the weirdest thing to watch.
The subject of sex is always floating in the air on this series. Although I'm willing to bet there are so many restrictions as to types of touching, kissing, petting, hugging and feeling in the show's contract that there's no chance of an orgy behind the scenes as many of us...certainly not I...would like to think. It seems like a no-brainer to me that this show's producers don't want to put either the bachelor or any female contenders for his affection in any situation that would cause either a pregnancy or a venereal disease. This sort of thing just doesn't make good copy. Thus the matter of kissing, touching, hugging, much less actual sex, is all detailed down to the last skin cell, at least as my good business sense imagines.
Still, dream guy Andy states his intention to marry his chosen lady quite openly and such as love, engagements and marriage very much do involve touching, feeling, kissing and, gasp, sex. Which makes yon viewer to wonder just how Andy is going to focus in on some future wife in the series without having had any intimacy with the subject. As I figure this sort of thing is handled, once that bachelor makes his choice the new couple can do whatever the hell they want after the show ends. Which means, heh, that this guy has spent the last three months picking and choosing from a bevy of beautiful females to finally hone in on one. THEN the couple can find out how they do together in the sack.
Carrying this concept even further, what about this young lady? She's spent three months standing inside a group of nail-biting females, waiting to hear her name and receive a beloved rose. She's heard the jealous rages and witnessed some really bad behavior that happens between a group of females all going after one guy. Finally she makes it to the top of the heap and once the contract expires, maybe SHE doesn't like what she finds out about her chosen fellow, things like certain body part dimensions that might matter, if you get my drift.
Of course this is probably my wild imagination at work but as I watched those contenders for Andy's affections ride the wild bull inside a Texas style restaurant or pump a bicycle in tiny bikinis, I must smile. The Bachelor does not act like a pervert what with all this jiggling female flesh all about and this is part of the plan. I'm betting this show's demographic is mostly females but maybe there's some guys tuning in for some wishful thinking. But it would be a real turnoff to female viewers if the Bachelor in contention was acting like a strip-bar patron with tongue down to floor and sweat beads popping out on a shiny forehead. Make no mistake though, there are female body parts bouncing all the hell over the place on this show and because the context is overtly so innocent and pure it almost seems non-existant.
It's kind of like the Emperor Who Had No Clothes. I mean ole Andy had these ladies jiggling in the pool in brief bikinis. Then he had them pumping a bike then onto a jog around the track. All the while the boobs are bouncing and Andy smiling his encouragement but this was, after all, just an exercise in "physical fitness". Heh.
In each one of the group dates, Andy would choose one female to get a special bit of what is called "one-on-one" time. This basically means that one female in a particular group would get a chance to wander off with Andy, even in the middle of the group date, and spend time with this god of men.
Amber and Tiffany were chosen, one from each "group date", for this cherished "one-on-one" time. Poor Tiffany probably shouldn't have gone because Andy refused her a rose the following rose ceremony so it's not like that one-on-one time is always a good thing. Women who are mental boobs with stale personalities are discovered as much as the cleverly witted ones.
Stephanie from South Carolina was chosen by Andy for an individual date. The site of their date would be on a yacht. It wasn't clear if the yacht belonged to Andy but I'm betting it was a show prop. Now didn't Andy and Stephanie do that silly "Titanic" thing as if Andy was Leonardo DiCaprio and Stephanie his beloved ship's bow? Sheesh. This bit was too hokey to be believed.
There was one other interesting vignette on the night of the final dozen. At some point in time a discussion ensued between the contenders whilst Stephanie was out yachting with Andy. Someone mentioned that one of this year's female contenders was an actual virgin.
Now understand that this conversation was vague and cloaked in euphemisms. One had to read closely between the lines which gives me an edge as I do this very well. The discussion about this alleged virginity was bandied about within a group of females. Alexis only raised an eyebrow when someone ventured a guess as to who this female might be. Later during one of those individual vignettes when a human speaks to a lone camera making the audience think the individual speaks directly to us, Alexis said that she wasn't comfortable discussing such intimate things with essentially a group of strangers. This audience member knew then that the alleged virgin was likely Alexis. A bit later, when Andy got to talk to Alexis alone outside of the female crowd, he asked her about her "conservatism" and Alexis mumbled something about "moral values".
Interestingly enough, Alexis was NOT given a rose later at the rose ceremony so what the hey? I guess ole Andy didn't want no virgins, huh?
Anyway, my fascination with this reality series waxes on and I shall be on the job offering, for free, my wisdom and insight.
As of 4/10/07-the top 12 ladies to win Andy Baldwin's Bachelor affections are:
Stephanie from South Carolina
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