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Simian Proctologist
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I love my job! Even during the "bad" times, when those around me ask me with overwhelming concern in their eyes, "How are you doing?", I love my job. There's been some stress, but I think I still don't know enough to be truly as stressed as I ought to be, and there's been some uncomfortable decisions, but as long as those decisions don't get me fired, I'm fine.
I have two people who sort of report to me. I'm not in charge of their human resources items, but I oversee the system and workload that they're responsible for. When workload or system decisions are needed, they come to me. This last month, that's been just about every day.
I'm learning both how to oversee a process and how to be a boss. It's very strange.
My team is still very happy to have me with them, and I'm overjoyed to be part of this team.
I even love my other job, doing the office work for my husband's business. Though there are times when that's stressful, too. For instance, in January I had to create the 1099s.
The year before, we let our payroll company do it. We'd send them the information for each 1099 recipient as we paid them. If we wrote a check to Mr. Jones, we sent in Mr. Jones's information and what we'd paid him to our payroll on the regular payroll day. They kept track and at the end of the year produced the 1099s.
Incorrectly.
Not only did we pay Mr. Jones, we also paid Mr. Jones's son. Somehow, Mr. Jones got all the 1099 dollars, and none went to his son.
I spent until early March trying to correct this. So this time, I figured I'd do it. Certainly I couldn't do worse.
In January, knowing they had to be out the door by the 31st, I began to hunt for how to do these. I did the research and found what the current reporting rules were. I found all the people we'd need to send one to. I was ready!
I tried to find the form I'd need. The IRS site has downloadable forms. What luck! I went out there and downloaded both the 1099-MISC and the 1099-INT, since I had at least one of each. I downloaded the instructions, too, since someone had told me these things had to be typed, and I haven't had a typewriter in years.
I opened and read the instructions, but found nothing about typing the things. Well, maybe that was on the form itself. So I opened the 1099-MISC form.
The very first page says in big red letters that you can't use this form to actually send anything to the IRS. (So why have it available?) So where was I supposed to get the form, then?
There's a number on the IRS site, so I wrote that down. Of course, when I was doing this was too late to call, so I called it from work the next morning.
"Thank you for calling the Internal Revenue Service," a pleasant female voice said. "For English, press 1."
I pressed 1.
"Thank you for calling the Internal Revenue Service. For English, press 1."
Hadn't I already pressed 1? I did it again.
"Thank you for calling the Internal Revenue Service. Our Web site is www.irs.gov. Goodbye."
And the pleasant female voice hung up on me. I tried it again, sure I'd done something wrong. I got hung up on a second time. I was frustrated and began to panic, but I couldn't do any more about it from work.
That afternoon I called my accountant. "Oh," she said, "I can send you some, no problem."
I sighed with relief and watched my mailbox. Within three days, I received the forms. They didn't look any different. However, I still didn't know if I had to type them (it hadn't occurred to me to ask my accountant).
I looked over the IRS site again. Nothing there was helpful for me. I looked over the actual forms I had, and there was another number. I called but they were closed.
The next morning from work I called the number. I got someone very helpful (and real) who told me where to find the actual filling-it-out instructions and that while they preferred typed, hand-written was okay if it was legible. I thanked her.
The next day, Saturday, I began to fill out the pesky forms. My accountant had also sent me two 1096s, which I hadn't known I'd needed. Everything went well until I started on those. I needed two, one for the MISC and one for the INT. But after I'd filled them out, I couldn't tell if I could send them together or not.
On Monday, I called the helpful number. They weren't so helpful this time; it was Martin Luther King day and they were closed. So I called my accountant again.
Of them all, she is definitely the most helpful.
Finally, the task is done, and I'm confident I did a better job of it than my payroll company.
Michelle
The Desk Drawer writer's exercise list
Killing the Child Within - The Things we Teach our Children
Why does child believe us when we tell him/her that Santa exists, that he comes down the chimney bearing presents, that he knows when they've been naughty and nice, that he eats the milk and cookies they set out for him? Why does a child laugh when you throw him/her up in the air and they're falling for a second or two? Why does a child fall asleep on your shoulder on the way home from school? There's only one word that answers all these questions - unfailing trust. But we as parents abuse this trust by teaching our children, albeit inadvertently, things that slowly push out the innocence in their hearts and replace it with the skepticism and suspicion that adults carry around as a matter of course. If you're a parent shaking his/her head against this allusion, read on to see what we teach our kids to do, without even realizing it:
· To tell a lie: Children do not know how to lie, at least not until you teach them to do so. They are disarmingly truthful, so much so that a rhetoric question brings a literal answer. Try asking a little boy who's broken the cookie jar, "Now how on earth did you manage to do that?" and you'll most probably see him throw down a glass bowl and say, "Like this!" Kids can be exasperating at times, but they speak what they feel inside, unlike adults who with each passing experience become shrewd and calculating. We are the ones who teach kids to lie, when we tell them to turn away salespersons at the door with a "Mommy's not home" fib. And when the man at the door asks, "When is she expected back?", don't be surprised if your precious darling runs to where you're hiding and yells, "When will you be back mommy?"
To swear when angry: Young minds are impressionable, which is why your angry outburst at your spouse, your child or anyone else leaves a lasting memory in your child's mind. The next time he/she is frustrated and wants to vent his/her anger, be prepared to hear the choice words you used coming from your innocent child's mouth. If you gnashed your teeth when you yelled at your kid, you can be sure that he/she picks up the habit from you.
· To hide mistakes: How often have we seen our moms do something wrong and tell the kids to hide the fact from dad? How often are broken objects swept under the proverbial carpet so that the peace is maintained in the family? Children pick up on this, and then the lies that hide and cover mistakes are born. They start with protecting siblings and friends, then to protecting themselves, for the small things at first, and then the more serious ones. There's no one to set the example of owning up to responsibility and accepting the consequences of one's actions.
· To be double agents: You hate your next door neighbor and spew venom at her over the phone to your best friend. But when you run into her as you take out the garbage or on your way out the door, you pretend she's the next best thing to homemade apple pie, a la mode. This sends your child, who has both overheard your conversation on the phone and seen you interact with your neighbor, mixed signals, telling him/her that it's ok to say one thing to people's faces and a completely opposite thing behind their backs.
A child is a source of joy and constant wonder just because he/she is a child. As children grow into adults, they lose their innocence along with the baby fat. Let's not hasten the process of making cynical adults out of guileless children. If we cannot return to innocence ourselves, the least we can do is be a part of our children's artlessness, for as long as possible.
By-line:
This article is contributed by Heather Johnson, who regularly writes on the topic of Correspondence degrees. She invites your questions and writing job opportunities at her personal email address: heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.
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