The Revolution-The Intelligent Make Over Us, The Stupid

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Bring Back General Hospital

I doubt seriously that this show would have an audience at all were it not premiering at the first of the year. People are more prone to revolutionizing their lives, losing weight, getting healthier….all that, after the holiday lights are dimmed, the New Year's horns are silenced, the days grow short and cold.

A whole hour of lecturing and hectoring gets really old, really quick.  A whole week of such hours makes you go looking for your gun.

By the show's own web site:

The Revolution is an uplifting, inspiring, and groundbreaking new daily show about health and lifestyle transformations co-hosted by a stellar team of experts who will help viewers with complete transformations in all areas of their lives.

The Revolution is set to premiere Monday, January 16, 2012, at 2:00 P.M., ET on ABC Daytime. It focuses on improving your physical and emotional well-being, fashion, family, home design, personal finance, food, jobs and more. In addition to being a motivating and interactive resource for viewers at home, the show features a unique concept: each week one woman's five-month weight loss journey will unfold in just five days with daily results and a final transformation reveal on Friday. This show is your daily boost, whether you are looking for inspiration to accomplish little victories or you need a road map for a major change.

The Revolution replaced General Hospital in this time slot, weekdays, on ABC, from 2pm-3pm. This fact alone gave the show some hype at its premiere. General Hospital was the only major daytime soap opera still airing and it evidently still had a lot of fans.

First, there's the "experts" who will make you a better person.

I have some affection for Tim Gunn of course, being a Project Runway fan and everything. Tim's job is to help make over women in need of some fashion advice. So far this has an appeal to me.

Dr. Tiffanie Henry is a "relationship expert" and thus begins the lecturing. Okay, I understand that we all need some advice about our interactions with our boyfriends, spouses, mothers, etc. And were this a once a week show, it would not be overkill to constantly hear how we shouldn't throw the blame to those around us and we should assume some of the blame ourselves. By me, telling me this once a week is enough. I know it, even if I don't do it all the time.

Harley Pasternak is a "celebrity trainer" who has decided to take on us plebes out here in la-la land that don't have a clue how to eat or exercise without wiseacres like he to show us how.

Dr. Jennifer Ashton is a "women's health expert" who lectures us on our female health matters as if our own doctors don't do it enough.

And Ty Pennington! I have to fall over laughing. I must guffaw with the hilarity of this guy, once a handyman on HGTV, on to host of "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition", now on a woman's makeover show? Well hey, they had to give him some reward for that lying home makeover he did for that friend of the Obamas down the street from me.

If this panel even approached being a serious "personal makeover" show, the presence of Ty Pennington vaporizes it all.

Below is a short video of a Revolution expert preparing us a salad that yon reader get an idea of how this show goes.

This show features women who decide to undergo a personal revolution, usually involving a huge loss of weight. On a regular basis the women then embarking on a weight loss program will be on the show in short vignettes that show us their struggles, how they're getting along, the new foods they eat, the rigorous exercise they currently undergo.

It all makes me feel guilty as hell.

I did watch a couple of shows to better write this review. I have this show on repeat record but right after posting this review I hope to never watch it again.

One show was all about bras and think about how that cadre of experts could tell us about our bras and why we're doing it all wrong.

So okay, women notoriously wear the wrong bras. We wear them too loose (Dr. Ashton warns us about falling breasts if not held up properly), we have straps showing (Tim Gunn lectures us on this fashion faux pas), we wear them to make our chests thrust more (Dr. Henry lectures us on loving our minds and men be damned that we get uncomfortable to show them our big mams), we don't wear a sports bra during exercise to have our boobs flopping dangerously (Pasternak, the celebrity trainer, shows us proper brassieres for exercising, perhaps used by Beyonce, who knows?). Ty? He warns us not to hammer nails into our breasts as this is very dangerous.

I get tongue-in-cheek about Ty Pennington. He did spend some time on a treadmill during a recent Revolution all about sweat (including, I'm not making this up, how to get sweat stains out of blouses). Beyond silly actions on the show, Ty does build shelves and stuff for women to get organized so he's got a purpose of sorts.

It's not that this show, were it a one day a week thing, can't be informative and interesting.

At five hours a week it's just overkill, over lectures, entirely too much information. The eyes glaze on Monday. I then erase the episodes from Tuesday through Friday cause I can only take so much guilt and lecturing before I want to punch them all right between the eyeballs.

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