The state of education in this year of our Lord, Kaitlyn, is sad indeed. Though you are now only three months old I am already fretting about your education to come.
Heaven forbid, Kaitlyn, that you should be “educated” in the country’s public school system. Because it’s really awful out there and doesn’t seem to be heading towards anything better.
I was perusing around my county’s library site yesterday in search of how to renew my books when I chanced upon this question and answer forum. Below is one of the posts on the forum. I am not, Kaitlyn, making this up.
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Subject: How to Write a Book
Question: what do i do if im going to
wright a book
Response: The first thing you want to do is to get a book on
how to write a book.
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To be fair, first I must state that I do not know the age of the poster of the question. Though, I’d argue, the question is obviously submitted by someone who wants to “wright” a book so I would think it’s someone who has “wread” a book. The poster is someone who managed to find the sub-sub-sub web page of Sussex County’s library web site containing the question and answer section.
The answer as provided by the grand poobahs of the Sussex County’s library system is even more interesting. They tell the hapless questioner to find a book about writing books.
WRONG!
HERE is the correct answer as compiled by my wise self.
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Response: First thing, talk to your parents, beg and plead if you must, to get you the hell out of public schools and sign you up for a private school where the emphasis is on reading, writing and ‘rithmetic.
Second thing, pay attention in school. Learn that the pronoun “I” should be capitalized. Ask your parents to demand that the teachers insist on spelling bees and lessons. Raise your hand and ask the teacher to go over that bit about contractions and the meaning of the apostrophe. Though it’s likely the teacher hasn’t covered this chapter yet in that the day this was to be taught there was a movie scheduled titled “Heather has two Mommies”.
Ask your parents to hold elected officials to the fire. Beg your parents to vote out the politicians who throw money at the powerful teachers’ unions for votes that they may get re-elected. And dear Lord, plead with your parents that the students of teachers should pass minimal testing standards and if the students have not learned what the teacher was supposed to teach, fire that teacher.
Someday you might want to consider checking out one of the many books on writing. But don’t even do this until you have learned the basics of our beautiful language.
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Of course the bureaucrats in the Sussex county library system would never respond in such a fashion but I’m amazed that they even published this question without at least one soft and gentle suggestion that the poster should first learn how to construct and properly spell the language.
The politicians, Kaitlyn, in this day and age, use the country’s education system as a political football. Notions such as the purpose of schools being to teach students the basics of numeric and linguistic knowledge are considered quite naïve. Better the kids be taught the magic of “diversity” and the many different combinations and permutations possible in a “marriage”.
The current President, George W. Bush (you might read about him someday Kaitlyn though I understand the schools regularly edit and change history to suit their political goals rather than, say, writing the truth), early in his presidency, signed a multi-gazillion education bill, sponsored and written by that paean of all things liberal, Teddy Kennedy of Massachusetts. Teddy Kennedy left a young woman to die below a pond in his submerged car after driving off of a bridge then swimming to safety himself. They may not put this in the history books, Kaitlyn, so let me tell you my own grandmother self right now.
STILL, Kaitlyn, the Democrats complain about education and how it needs more money thrown at it.
Sure. They want to throw money at the teachers’ unions for their endorsements. It’s of no matter to the politicians if any of the money actually filters down to the actual classroom.
The really bad thing about it all, Kaitlyn, is the constituencies of the Democrat politicians are the ones who suffer the most from the country’s lackluster schools. Do you think Teddy Kennedy’s children attended the same schools as the children of his constituents living in a Boston ghetto?
So my precious Kaitlyn, now only three months old and already sporting a smile that rivals the sun in brightness, it is my hope that some way, somehow, your parents can send you to a private primary school.
I’m thinking a school that teaches that it’s wrong to leave young women to die slowly by drowning while swimming to safety to save your own hide.
And if the people of Massachusetts had been educated in a decent school system, who knows, maybe they would have learned NOT to elect such a creature.
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