the Fly on the Wall Visits the Mideast

Much Requested Insight Analysis from the View of the Proverbial Fly on the Wall

The Fly on the Wall Visits the Mideast

There were six attendees at the hastily convened meeting in a mosque deep in Saudi Arabia. It took an amazing amount of planning to escape the scrutiny of the coalition forces stationed in Iraq. Not to mention evading the special forces that had spread out across the area, recruiting spies with piles of money and paying for information about this very meeting so clandestinely planned.

The attendees all wore western attire lest their tribe attire attract undue attention or identify their nationality. The Mideast nations of Egypt, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Iran and a reluctant last-minute recruit from Kuwait were represented. It was a most important meeting, the conclusion of which would determine their actions within the next sixty or so days.

A lavish spread of falafel, hummus, goat cheese and pomegranate wine was spread across the table. A fly somehow made it past the screening protecting the entrance and landed on a wedge of goat cheese. The fly became busy attacking the moldy cheese as the meeting began.

A tall robust fellow known only as "Sam" represented Saudi Arabia and called the meeting to order.

"I would like to thank you all for risking danger to your self to attend this meeting. As you know, unless we can change the tide soon, all of us will be living in a nation greatly changed from what we have known our entire lives."

"Bill", the representative from Syria, leaned back in his chair and smirked. He loved how his comrades and appointees of their various governments liked to phrase the eventual destruction of the oil-rich leaders and unelected governments they were committed to preserve. Bill knew that those leaders had no desire to preserve any Mideastern heritage. Their preservation was for those leaders alone to continue to enjoy their oil wealth unfettered by the stupid citizenry.

"I would think the Sauds would be greatly concerned about the western assault," Bill said, finally, deciding to play along by using the euphemistic language these folks preferred. "The holiest site of Mecca and Medina must be preserved at all costs from those that would rip our Muslim heritage out from under our Persian rugs."

Bill leaned back in his chair, a slight smile remaining on his face. He knew there was no one more scared than the members of the House of Saud itself. And their fear was due to their impending loss of power never mind any nonsense about preserving Mecca.

"Joe", the Kuwaiti representative, grabbed a bite of falafel and took a long sip of the wine. "It's a bit of a folly to continue to fight the Americans," he said after a long burp, a bodily expression taken as a supreme compliment in the Arabian culture.

"Shut up!" "Bob", the Egyptian shouted to the Kuwaiti representative. "I don't even know why you invited Kuwait," Bob scolded the Saudi representative. "They've been in the hip pocket of the US since the mid-80's."

The Saudi rep held up his hand to stop the pending argument. There were operatives in Kuwait and with its proximity to so many American bases Kuwait was a serious player if the Mideast's lifestyle was to be preserved.

"We've certainly been broadcasting our nuclear weapon program," "Steve", the Iranian representative changed the subject. "And it's providing the distraction we'd hoped it would."

"Jeff", the representative from Jordan, snorted. "What distraction? At any time and with the mere push of a button Israel will bring down your nuke program within a fortnight, praise Allah. The American administration knows this."

"We're not trying to convince the American administration," the Saudi rep interjected. "We're trying to scare the American people. They are our ace in the hole."

The Jordanian rep snorted again. "You guys are still living in the era of Black Hawk Down. 62 million Americans voted for George Bush in their last election. They're not the Americans of the Clinton era. America didn't like that little attack on their homeland and we can thank the Sauds for that."

"We had nothing to do with that!" the Saudi rep shouted the standard denial. "If we'd known what Osama was up to we would have stopped him."

At this several of the representatives snorted. Many of the countries they represented had adapted to several western compromises. The Sauds were determined to keep their power and Saudi Arabia had enough oil money to keep the Americans out of their way.

"Bush has big plans for a Palestinian peace process," the Egyptian rep said, an attempt to keep the meeting focused.

"We're on it. You heard about the bombing recently at the Israeli checkpoint? Don't you think the Israelis and Americans got the message?"

"Which is?" the Kuwaiti rep asked.

"Which is," the Saudi rep said through clenched teeth for his impatience. "Notice that Arafat's death doesn't change a thing. It will be business as usual in Palestine."

"I hear there's some Palestinians negotiating with the Americans," the Jordanian rep said. "If the Americans get some recruits in Hamas and Hizbollah they just might convince those refugees there's a better life ahead."

"Mubarak will not hear of it!" the Egyptian rep shouted, banging his fist on the table and upsetting his glass of pomegranate wine. "He's shipped over a thousand fighters into the Gaza strip not to mention the money he's poured into the effort. Palestine is our safety net. It is only their threat to Israel and the positive public relations we gain that keeps tensions high in the region. How is the recruitment effort in your countries?"

"We've got about five thousand committed," the Saudi rep said proudly. "Of course their price keeps going up and the closer we get to the Iraq election the higher it will go. How about the militants sent to Fallujah? Did many of them return? Can we convince them to fight in Palestine?"

"They're tired of it," the Syrian rep said. "About a hundred of them returned to Syria and their asking price to fight in Palestine is astronomical. You're going to have to hit up the Sauds for more money."

The Saudi rep sighed and ran his fingers through his thick hair. "The House of Saud has already spent millions on this effort. Even Saudi Arabia has a limit on oil money."

There was a long silence as all meeting attendees pondered their situation.

"So where do we go from here?" the Egyptian rep broke the silence.

"We keep fighting," the Saudi rep said fiercely. "We keep fighting to protect our homeland and way of life."

"Not to mention the House of Saud's monopoly on the oil wealth," the Jordanian rep snorted. "The American people are growing tired of Saudi Arabia and soon your little PR machine isn't going to work its magic."

"Listen," the Kuwaiti rep said, his tone serious. "Our citizens are not happy. It's not much longer before Iraq will have elections and with the coalition in the region, they're going to infiltrate. We all may as well accept that the way of life we've enjoyed for so long is going to be changing."

"That is nonsense!" the Egyptian rep said, again banging the table and again upsetting a glass of wine. "I will not accept such heresy from Kuwait. This is a little country with enough oil wealth to spread amongst the citizenry. Saudi Arabia has entirely too many people to share the wealth and may I remind you that Egypt has no oil revenue at all. We cannot risk, indeed cannot allow, those western forces to take away our power."

Again silence permeated the room at the Egyptian's truth. Millions of disenchanted citizens threatened the sweet lives the Mideast leaders have come to enjoy and expect.

"The Americans are really going to go ballistic when they get a whiff of life in Saudi Arabia," the Syrian smirked. "Wait until their soccer Moms get it that Saudi women can't drive, that oil money is used to teach the young to hate America and Israel, not to mention the Oil for Food scandal that's going to be hitting the American radar soon."

"We have Americans involved in that," the Saudi reminded the Egyptian.

"It's not going to matter," the Egyptian shrugged.

"So? What's the plan?"

"It's not over until the Iraqi election is over. Until then, keep recruiting militants. Send them to Palestine like we've always done. Up your price. Also, we're working on setting up a cell right in Baghdad that has promise. Give the recruits plenty of ammunition. The Americans are growing particularly worried about road side bombs. Already there's complaints about the lack of armor. The American people, Allah be praised, don't understand that to protect a humvee from a ton of explosives you'd have to clad the thing with so much metal it wouldn't move. Our propaganda has worked in the past. We keep fighting, we keep financing and we keep recruiting."

The meeting attendees munched on hummus, none of them particularly convinced.

"And what if it doesn't work?" the Egyptian asked the Saudi.

"We have a plan," the Saudi responded. "It's a desperate plan and we don't want to embark upon it so long as we can keep things riled in Palestine, even in Iraq if we can get our recruits to even go there. They tell us the American marines are very tough."

"So what's the plan?" several of the Reps asked in unison.

The Saudi sniffed, reluctant to reveal the big secret. Although he was told that the meeting attendees have been thoroughly investigated and could be trusted completely.

"We get to either Bush or Cheney. We've got inside contacts. Such a thing would devastate the American people. For now, we continue to recruit, provide weapons and continue the fight."

"Are you suggesting ...?" the Egyptian began than paused. "Assassination?"

The Saudi shrugged. He hadn't actually said this. The Syrian smiled. It would be nice to get the Americans out of the Mideast. Saddam's weapons were barely hidden under Assad's Summer palace. The Egyptian was at first shocked, then smiled. Mubarak would be pleased. The Jordanian too was pleased at the thought. So many of Jordan's citizens were restless. With Bush out of the way, or Cheney as the Saudi implicated, life would return to its former happy sweetness.

"We'll meet again in three weeks," the Saudi said curtly, gathering his papers as indication that the meeting was over. "The location will be sent to you in the normal manner. Until then, remember, all options are on the table."


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