DATE-5/26/05
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Jackson Defense Rests
Because no matter what anybody says or how they couch it, there is something odd, even perverted, about a 45 year old man having childish “sleepovers” with young children. I don’t care how Michael baby declares such events to be innocent and void of any sexual activity.
Today the prosecutor should finish up the rebuttal then the case goes to the jury.
My prediction-charges of conspiracy to imprison-NOT guilty
Charges of perversion and child molestation-GUILTY
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There IS a War Going on
Folks, these so-called “insurgents” are not devoted Iraqi citizens fighting for their country. They are mostly PAID soldiers, paid by Syria, paid by Saudi Arabia, paid by Jordan…paid by middle east dictators that do not want a free country in their midst. Much like they don’t want Israel hanging around, setting a civilized example of freedom that their unhappy and unfree citizens become envious and discontented.
So every once in a while an offensive must be mounted and the current rats’ nests exterminated. I am reminded by Fallujah, a city once in the news and mourned by the liberals as a lost cause.
Boom, American soldiers took care of it and we hear Fallujah no more.
God Bless our Soldiers and may they be safe.
From Fox News
.... "About 1,000 U.S. Marines, sailors and soldiers encircled this Euphrates River (search) city in the troubled Anbar province Wednesday, killing at least three insurgents after launching the second major operation in this vast western region in less than a month, an official said.
The offensives are aimed at uprooting insurgents who have killed more than 620 people since a new Iraqi government was announced on April 28."
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The Night the Lights Went Out in …
Moscow?
Betcha didn’t know that there was chaos in Moscow yesterday due to a major electrical outage. If this happens in America the entire world knows AND, of course, it is ALWAYS George W. Bush’s fault.
From the BBC:
A spokeswoman for electricity monopoly RAO UES said the problem stemmed from a fire.
"The problem started yesterday evening. The reason was a fire in the switching equipment at the Chagino substation," she told Reuters news agency.
"Staff dealt with the fire and overnight changed the equipment. However during peak consumption time this morning the problem recurred."
The Micex stock exchange stopped trading for two hours as many of its clients did not have power.
There is some speculation that the power cut could have been due to an overload in demand as Moscow has seen unseasonably high temperatures and people have started using air conditioning.
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Fifteen Minutes Are Up for the Runaway Bride
Thank God. Hey, Martha Stewart went to jail. The Wendy’s finger hoaxer is in deep trouble. Because goodness, there’s laws and you don’t go giving false statements to police.
We hear Jennifer’s on the gift registry as wanting colorful towels for her NEXT wedding.
Can’t have enugh head cover.
HERE:
Runaway Bride Indicted for Phony Story
By DANIEL YEE
LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. (AP) - The bride-to-be who skipped town just days before her lavish wedding was indicted Wednesday on charges she told police a phony story about being kidnapped and sexually assaulted.
Jennifer Wilbanks, 32, was charged with making a false statement and making a false police report. She could get up to six years behind bars and $11,000 in fines if convicted.
She could also be ordered to reimburse authorities for the more than $50,000 cost of the search set off by her disappearance.
`At some point you just can't lie to the police,'' said District Attorney Danny Porter.
The Monkeys and the Vinyl Roof
There had been some discussion about cars due to my recent exposure of Chrysler’s peeling paint problems.
While the incident of the monkeys and the vinyl roof hadn’t been mentioned in the original post, in some of my post Blog entry discussions I admitted that I had returned one leased car with a little bit of “monkey” damage. When pressed I demurred. It seemed a perfect Reminisce post that Kaitlyn Mae will someday know how stupid her Grandmother could be at times.
Indeed the entirety of husband’s and my visit to the “nature preserve” of 6 Flags America in New Jersey was filled with adventure and excitement. Such journeys are rarely the dangerous and fraught-filled safaris we experienced that day.
Ideally cars filled with curious children and happy adults drift through these animal preserves. Sometimes the animals being viewed are actually awake. The biggest thrill of the visit might be the sighting of a lion yawning.
The day husband and I visited the preserve a thunderstorm popped up out of nowhere. This when we were into the park by five minutes. From then on we faced stampeding zebras, angry rhinos, hoards of wildebeest and a giraffe that wanted to eat husband’s hat.
Hand to God this really happened and husband, who says he never lies, is my only witness. There is no photos or video of the event but it happened. The monkeys didn’t even come into play until the end.
“Watch out for the rhinoceros!” husband screamed.
By the time of this spousal hysteria, over naught but a charging rhino for God’s sake, we’d already endured a horrific thunderstorm that caused the zebras to panic, hundreds of them running passed our car as husband and I could only sit and stare at the sight. Some of them even jumped over the hood!
By the time the rains came, the nature preserve had already closed the park to the public. Hand to God, husband and I, plus a few other cars, were the only ones left. Evidently park personnel knew the animal reaction would be, ahem, scary, and humans are prevented entry until after the storm.
Except for husband and I. Who were already there. Where after the stampeding zebras came the wild and wooly wildebeest. Just like the zebra they streamed past our car by the hundreds, again, some jumping over the hood. Husband and I could do nothing but sit the car to stop because hey, I did try to drive through the zebra stampede and I must suggest that few on this planet have ever had to do such a thing. For the wildebeest I would sit the car still.
I don’t know why the rhinoceros detested our car so. The thunderstorm was over and just as quickly weather calm returned. But there he was, looking at our car in an angry manner and stomping his feet. We were, by this time, moving the car along although at a very slow pace. There were still errant zebras and wildebeest about.
Now I saw the rhinoceros, way before husband. In fact, I did my best to pull the car to the side as far away from the animal but still remain on the road. The rhino was having none of it. He began running towards our car which is when husband screamed and by God you’d think he didn’t consider my extensive experience at avoiding charging rhinoceri.
I had to jerk that steering wheel left, then right, then left again, not to mention speeding up, but I successfully avoided both the rhinoceros and a huge ostrich that showed up out of nowhere. Park personnel were even applauding my driving skill.
After the storm the park began re-admitting cars so by the time we got to the monkeys there were many cars driving all around.
Yes there was a very big sign at the entrance to the monkey park warning visitors that monkeys like to eat vinyl roofs of cars. We were driving a Chevrolet Caprice with a vinyl roof. It was a leased car from the same folks who leased me the Chryslers with the bogus paint.
“You better not go in there, Pat” husband warned. By this time the man’s credibility was down to zero with me because a)he wasn’t driving or could he have done such a fine job as my own fine self and b)he believes everything he reads.
“Oh come on,” I taunted. “I bet ONE time, on ONE car, some errant monkey pulled off a piece of a vinyl roof. They HAVE to put up a sign because, come on, who ever heard of monkeys eating the roofs of cars?”
And so we went through the gate, the vinyl roof then intact on our car’s roof, the warning signed mocked and ignored.
Almost immediately ten thousand monkeys jumped onto the roof of our car. Okay, maybe it was only a hundred monkeys. It was a lot of monkeys. They covered the entire car. I could not see a thing through the windshield.
“Billy!” I screamed, now unable to drive for lack of sight. “Get the monkeys off of the roof!”
Well, yes. Yes I did. I expected that husband would be a gentleman, get out of the car, and remove all the monkeys then upon.
“Do you know how big their teeth are?” he screamed back in response.
So we sat there, our car covered with monkeys. I could not drive away for blindness by monkey. I warned husband that car’s lessor would not be happy with the vinyl roof damage. Still we sat still, only able to imagine the damage then being done to the car’s roof.
Since we could not move the car, many of the cars then entering the monkey area began to congregate around us. From the side windows husband and I could see the fingers of hysterical children as they pointed to some activity taking place on our car’s roof. Which roof we could not see.
Finally I decided the only thing to do was drive even if I had to drive blind. In fact the movement of the car did cause the monkeys to drop off the car, at least enough that I could see the road. And the many cars around us, filled with laughing people enjoying our personal monkey show.
It wasn’t easy but I managed to get out of the monkey area. The park conveniently provided a quick exit for fools like me I suppose.
The damage to the vinyl roof wasn’t too awful bad. Although there were huge patches of vinyl pulled off with tufts of cotton peeking through.
Some colored duct tape kept the roof on the car for the remainder of the lease.
For now it is only these words that will immortalize that day. That and my penalty for the damaged roof upon return of the car.
But it really happened.
Because no way could I, or would I, make it up.
Becoming A Man
copyright 2005 Michelle Hakala
Winebird.com
Euxloor (you ks lore) n. a large animal native to the primitive planet Nolon. Often used in tribal rituals of attaining adulthood.
Gevol crouched silently with the others. The two moons were invisible, each in the dark phase. It was rare for both to be dark, and tradition said it was the best time to hunt. Only the third time he'd hunted with the adults, Gevol thought he could use any help and thanked the gods for this blessing.
Six hunters and two adolescents waited breathless in the underbrush. They watched the herd of folc come slowly closer. Just two would be enough to feed the entire tribe for nearly a turn of the lesser moon. Just a little closer! A motion from Gevol's father signaled the attack, and Gevol sprang forward, hurling his spear at the nearest folc. A hit! Not enough to kill, still it slowed the animal and the next throw brought it all the way down.
A short distance away, one of the elder hunters shouted victory. The hunting group had killed three folc; the tribe would eat well!
"A good shot." Gevol felt his father's hand rest briefly against skin; hunter to hunter language for a job well done. "It's time you became a man. I'll talk to the Council with the next sun." Gevol felt his heart flutter. The Test of Manhood? He wasn't ready!
The shouts of congratulation and the laughter that followed a successful hunt went unheard as Gevol pondered the mysterious rite.The Test of Manhood wasn't talked about. It was a secret shared by the adult men of the tribe alone, and those who passed were sworn to uphold its sanctity. Those who didn't pass... Gevol shuddered. How could his father think he was ready?
A village-wide celebration took place when the hunters returned with their catch. An abundance of food called for a feast and the people were eager for one. It had been a lean winter, followed by a meager
spring. The three folc would see the people through to harvest. Gevol, however, wasn't in a party mood and shrugged off the village girls' attempts to lead him onto the packed earth of the dance floor or tempt him with morsels. What he wanted most was advice.
With sunrise, he stole across the village to his older brother's tent. Girm had become a man three winters before. Surely he would tell Gevol what he needed to know to pass the Test.
"You know I can't talk about it, Gevol. You shouldn't worry. Father knows what he's doing. If he thinks you're ready, you are. None of us ever think we'll pass. In the time of dark before my Test I was shaking so hard I could have made folc-milk butter just by holding some. You'll do fine."
Girm's confidence was gratifying, but not very reassuring. It didn't help Gevol's doubts when his father announced the Council's agreement, either. The Test would take place, when next the greater moon was
round.
* * *
"You should prepare, Gevol," his mother chided gently. "Purify yourself, that the gods find favor in you."
He pulled away, anxious that his mother not see his fear. How could he prepare for something he was unsure of? If he knew what the Test was, then he could prepare for it. Reluctantly he left the tent to visit
the village shaman. It couldn't hurt to be purified.
When the greater moon was first visible, the Test would begin.
* * *
Gevol trembled as he stood in front of the Council. Four of them --the holy number -- were chosen to accompany him on his Test. His father was not allowed to be one of the chosen. Gevol would take the
Test alone, but the four were witnesses to the tribe on his success... or his failure.
The group started out into the darkening woods. Just out of sight of the village, they stopped, and one of the Elders held out a blindfold, motioning Gevol to come stand by him. Fighting down his fear, Gevol complied. The group started off again, Gevol unable to see.
He felt the guiding hands on him, but the four did not speak, and the rising silence grated on Gevol's nerves. When would they tell him what he was to do? Why were they not using this time to encourage him or give him any clues?
Much time passed before the four stopped. His blindfold was removed, but Gevol did not recognize the place.
"Here you will become a man," said one of the Elders. It was the first words spoken since the choosing of the four, back in the village. Gevol jumped a little, and glanced around, imagining all sorts of possibilities.
"Ahead lies a meadow," the Elder continued. "You will enter the meadow and not leave it or return until you have completed your Test."
What was the Test? Gevol wanted to shout at the Elder, shake him, make him be more clear. "But..."
"You will know what to do. Take this." The Elder handed his spear to Gevol. "What you bring with you to the meadow will be all you need."
A spear. Then it was to be a hunt. But a hunt of what?
Gevol took the spear and looked around at the four. Each of them showed nothing in their expressions. No hope, no fear, no expectations. Gevol would pass his Test, or he would not. It was up to him.
He turned in the direction the Elder had indicated and began to walk. The greater moon had moved by two fingers' breadth before Gevol found the meadow. The underbrush thickened and then thinned, and the light
of the greater moon flooded the meadow in front of him. He heard a stream nearby, but saw nothing in the meadow. How could he hunt what wasn't there? Was his Test to be finding food where nothing was?
He began exploring. He could cross the meadow in fifteen strides; there were no hidden hollows. It was most definitely empty.
*Because you cannot see it does not mean it is not there.*
Gevol whirled around, sure he'd heard someone speak. Still, the meadow was empty. "Who's there? Come out!"
*I cannot make you see what you will not.*
The words weren't aloud, Gevol realized. They were in his mind, as if he'd dreamt them. But he was awake!
*Yes, you are awake. Yet still blind. A child. Here to become a man? To be a man you must see.*
Gevol continued to search the meadow for the mysterious speaker. Could his brother have followed, played a trick on him? But no, his brother would speak in words, with breath. Not in his mind....
*Ah! A boy begins to see. A man may yet emerge.*
It seemed as if the words were coming from... over there. By that tree. Gevol crossed the meadow, stood by the tree. "Speak to me again, if you would have me find you."
*You are not here to find me. You are here to find yourself.*
A form began to appear on the opposite side of the tree. It wasn't as if it was becoming visible, but more as if Gevol was learning how to look to find it. The wavering outline solidified, became real, and Gevol found himself facing a full-grown euxloor.
A euxloor! Said to be the most dangerous and valued animal to hunt, it was also the hardest to find. None had been boasted of for many winters. Now, here, was one, during Gevol's Test. To bring in the head of a euxloor would guarantee his place in the Elders. No doubts; he would be a man.
Only... none of the stories had mentioned that euxloor could speak. And the eyes, they were the eyes of his baby sister, still young and helpless in his mother's arms.
Gevol raised his spear. A clean shot, an easy shot, it would be. The euxloor was almost close enough to touch.
*The journey to be a man is a short one, but takes most a long time to make.*
The words struck to Gevol's soul, and those eyes! He could not kill it.
Gevol lowered his spear. He knew his Test was over, and he'd failed. Looking at the euxloor one last time, he turned and walked out of the meadow, back to the four who waited.
They were still standing exactly as he'd left them, and without a word, one raised the blindfold and motioned Gevol to approach. With heavy heart, he did. What would they do to him for failing the Test? Would he be exiled from the tribe? Forced to do women's work all his life? Worse?
The silence from the four didn't bother him on the way back to the village. He knew they were disappointed. He'd not brought back any trophy from the meadow; there was no doubt he'd failed his Test and they all knew it. If he'd passed, there might have been talk. Laughter, joking. As it was, what was there to say?
Just before reaching the village the blindfold was removed. Silently they walked in and his father greeted him. The Council walked away, leaving Gevol alone with his father.
"My son is now a man," he said with pride.
"No, father, I'm not." Gevol couldn't lie to his father, and soon the whole village would know anyway. "I was given a spear, and had an opportunity to kill a euxloor, but could not. I've failed you and the village. A euxloor, father! And I left it alive."
"Gevol, don't you see? You've passed. It takes a man not to kill."
Because I’m a Man
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long after hypothermia has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.
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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink beer
and break wind as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing . And
never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which
"feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys, cumin is a
spice and not a bodily function.)
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator)....applies to engineers mainly.
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, cars, sports or computers. I have to
make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you
are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember
the name and recommend it to others.
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You
look fine. Can we just go now?
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... like
wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
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This has been a public service message for Women to better understand Men.
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