The Challenge? Describe the Character of the American People
And so I did my best to meet the contest requirements. I wrote the entry and submitted. I never heard a word in response.
I guess I didn't win, huh?
So here is that entry, on my very own Blog.
So the wise words don't go to waste.
"Americans are selfish," Uncle Vic spat and I couldn't keep the surprise of his comment from reflecting on my face. "It's true," my Uncle said to my raised eyebrows. "Americans are selfish, that's how to sum it up in a word."
Of all the people I'd approached for input, it was from Uncle Vic that I expected the most patriotic sentiment delivered with his usual fervor. I did speak to all sorts of "typical" Americans in my search for a short but accurate definition of an American for the people of the world. There were liberals and conservatives, the "working poor" and the outright wealthy, the small business owner and a president of a bank. It was certainly not any scientific survey as my research was limited to persons in my surround and acquaintance and, indeed, the participants had no idea that their opinions and suggestions were even registering in my brain. For all the participants in my informal survey did was basically be themselves as my mind melded their personalities, speech, mannerisms and ideology through a mental funnel that would filter it all down to the one commonality that would comprise the essence of the American character.
At least that was the plan.
Then my beloved Uncle throws that bit about being "selfish" at me and my careful compilation of the American character goes out the window. Why on earth, I wondered, would my red, white and blue Uncle Vic call Americans "selfish" of all things? Assuming the adjective to have negative connotations, which I did.
"An American will do whatever he wants to do in life and he will do it for nothing else but the fact that it pleases him," Uncle Vic explained his invective. "Assuming you don't mind if I use the masculine gender to include all Americans, male and female?" Uncle Vic asked, squinting with his one eye like he does when addressing such foolishness as politic correctness. I nodded my female head that it was okay.
"If he wants to be a cop he'll go on and be a cop. If he wants to rob banks, he'll rob banks. If he wants to invent the fuel-less car, well I suppose eventually he will invent it." Uncle Vic stopped and scratched his head and I had to scratch mine.
"Uncle Vic, if an American robs a bank he'll go to jail. Not even Americans can rob banks if they want."
"No, sweetie, that's where you're wrong. Don't you think most bank robbers want to rob banks? Do you think bank robbers, or murderers for that matter, are forced to do what they do? Hell no," Uncle Vic went on, answering his own question. "Like I say, selfish. Americans look out for themselves and theirs, all of them. Even the liberals though they deny it."
"Americans go to jail for bank robbery and murder, Uncle Vic," I said, hoping to bring him back on track.
"Sure they go to jail!" Uncle Vic responded as if I were a dolt that couldn't see the obvious. "That's because we have laws, sweetie. Somewhere along the line we passed a law against murdering people and robbing banks. The majority of us decided that these were not good things. The laws don't stop the murderers or the bank robbers, though, 'cause they're still in business. They do what they want to do because they're selfish."
"Before Uncle Vic mentioned the "selfish" word I was about to write him off as a participant in my informal survey. Not only was his diatribe a complete surprise to me, it didn't fit in with the rough draft of the American character I'd already formed in my mind. While I would, fairly I assumed, depict the American character as creative, ambitious and free-thinking, I would not, fairly again, depict the American character as one of pristine perfection. Americans are too often thoughtless oafs, or so I'd concluded and intended to include this personality element in my melting pot survey of the American character. But "selfish" as broadly portrayed by my Uncle Vic was a bit too negative, and, I thought at the time, not even true. Americans are the kindest people on the planet, everyone knows that.
"If a fellow decides to rob a bank on any given day he does so and he does it because he selfishly wants to get free cash with no punishment," my Uncle Vic continued. "If the same fellow decides to look for a job he can do that too. He doesn't have to bribe a local official for a job and he doesn't have to deal with a religion of the government that determines he can't drive because "he" is a "she"." Uncle Vic winked in my direction at his little joke.
"The laws of our representatives deal with the bank robbers, the employers decide who to hire and anyone willing to abide the law can drive a gettaway car or drive to a job interview. Bank robbers might form a lobbying group to pressure the legislators to ease up on bank robbing laws. Accountants form whatever kind of groups Accountants form and they pressure the legislators. In the end, the legislators must please the average selfish American who makes this country run. It's a simple thing, sweetie, and you know why it works?"
I had a feeling Uncle Vic was going to tell me why it works.
"Because every living thing born or sprung from this earth is selfish and wants to live its life according to its own internal drive. The best system allows for the selfishness to exist within the limits of the conscience of the representative democracy. Selfishness does lead to great things sometimes," Uncle Vic said, shaking his head in admiration of his own wisdom.
Uncle Vic leaned over a bit closer to me and lowered his voice an octave to indicate urgency in what he was about to say.
"Americans are no different than any other human being on this planet, sweetie, and don't forget it. We all want to live our selfish little lives and we all want to live it according to our own agenda. It's the culture and government that allows this selfishness to exist side-by-side with order and peace that creates the atmosphere for unfettered greatness."
Uncle Vic paused as my mind mentally rearranged my preconceptions to admit my Uncle's input into the fray.
"There is no American character, sweetie," Uncle Vic said, pulling away and looking thoughtfully toward the clear, blue sky. "There is only the human character, allowed to exist and thrive to whatever path it takes, within the norms, laws and freedoms that the government, society and culture permits."
By this time I was a bit awed by the handsomely phrased thoughts coming out of my crusty Uncle's mouth. Uncle Vic noticed my curious stare and blushed. "Aw, go on, don't pay this geezer any mind," he said. "It's just that lately with all this anti-America stuff going on in the world I've been trying to figure it all out. Guy like me should just tell them all to shove it but no one really wants to be hated. I fought for this country and I love this country. All of sudden the world's mad at us?"
"Well, it's a very nuanced kind of thing, Uncle Vic," I said.
"There's no nuance about it!" Uncle Vic shouted me mute. "Americans are selfish. But America has laws and a system of electing representatives and opportunity. It's how it goes when human selfishness is allowed to prosper in the proper infrastructure. Those people all mad at Americans are really mad that they can't be selfish too. I know being selfish is considered a bad thing but not in the context of a human society. Then it's a good thing. The hate America types only see selfish Americans as," Uncle Vic paused as he looked to the horizon for the right word. "Selfish." Uncle Vic paused again. "The bad kind of selfish."
"So they need to build a foundation, an environment, where their own citizens can be selfish too?" I asked, not necessarily to Uncle Vic and he accepted my muse as rhetorical.
"It's a human thing, sweetie. It's not an American thing. If all nations had the structure to handle a selfish citizenry, the only international conflict that would ever be needed would be at the Olympics. Where every selfish athlete of nation A could compete with the selfish athletes of nation B."
Uncle Vic slapped his hands on his knees and rose to leave. Uncle Vic was an expert craftsman, able to build practical and sturdy creations from a block of unformed wood. He had three children and was still devoted to his wife of 38 years. He served his country, even spent a few months as a prisoner of war.
Uncle Vic was a very selfish man.
More Miscellany posts HERE
Chicken Wings
Pull up a chair and read carefully how to properly prepare chicken wings.
Yes there’s a million ways to do them.
This is the original and time-tested manner by none other than Kaitlyn’s Grandmother.
Beginning with the purchase of a deep fryer.
If you don’t have a deep fryer move along. These wings require a deep fryer and every cook should have such a thing at any rate.
Two things first off: always make sure the deep fryer is clean. Before every use, “clean” the oil by draining it through a strainer. Add additional oil as needed. Next, purchase the wings.
Easiest and best way, buy those big bags of frozen wings. They already have the wing tips cut off and are frozen often in reseal-able bags that one may take what they want and easily store the rest. Chicken wings can be purchased fresh but this requires cutting off the tips. Why bother?
Now pull the required amount of frozen wings out of the reseal-able bags. Leave them in the fridge over night to thaw out.
Second imperative thing to fry these wings…DRY THEM OUT!
You don’t want to plunge wet wings in hot oil. You’ll suffer an explosion of oil that will resemble Mount Vesuvias.
Lay the thawed wings out on a double layer of paper towels and leave them exposed to the air. Turn them over after a bit to blot dry the other side.
After heating the oil to the temperature for chicken as stipulated by the manufacturer, put newspapers under the deep fryer, several layers. It’s the easiest way to clean up as once the deed is done the papers can be folded up and tossed. No matter how careful, hot oil tends to splatter and drip. Save yourself some time and cover the space under your deep fryer about a foot around.
Now put the wings in the fryer basket, about six at a time. Don’t try to fry too many at a time. The cold wings will lower the oil temperature and made the wings too oily. Set a kitchen timer and let the wings fry for THREE minutes.
When the timer goes off, pull the basket out of the fryer and let them drain for a minute. Dump the wings on a paper-towel covered plate and let them drain. Begin another batch of six to seven wings, same time…three minutes.
After all required wings are fried for the first three minutes then drained, go back to the original wings and fry them again. Again…THREE minutes. Set the timer. Chicken wings are little things and even an overfry of just a half of minute will make them tough.
Drain the chicken wings again after the second fry.
Boom, wings are done.
Chicken wings store nicely if NOT covered with the Buffalo sauce in storage. Store the sauce in a separate container and cover the wings when ready to serve.
For the sauce, take a half a stick of BUTTER, and about a half of cup of Louisiana Hot Sauce. This amount will provide a nice coating for about two dozen wings. Increase the sauce for the amount of wings required.
Microwave the hot sauce and the butter until the butter is melted.
Boom, there’s your sauce.
Store the wings in an airtight container until needed. Store the sauce in a separate container with a cover. When ready to serve the wings, add the stored wings to the container of sauce and shake thoroughly. Zap the coated wings in the microwave for about a minute.
Serve with a little extra sauce on the side.
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WHY DO THEY CALL IT "CORNED BEEF" ANYWAY?
Corned beef refers to beef that has been preserved and flavoured in a brine solution that is usually prepared with salt, which acts as a preservative. Sugar is stirred into the brine solution, which prevents the meat from getting hard due to the presence of the salt. Also added to the solution is saltpetre, which
helps to maintain the red colouring of the meat and various spices are added for flavouring.
The reason it is called corned beef is because the old English word "corned" was used to describe beef that was cured and the word "corn" was the word describing a small kernel or particle such as the particles of salt that were used. Corned beef is available as a sliced deli meat for sandwiches or whole corned beef briskets are available that are often served with cooked cabbage.
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RED RASPBERRY TIPS
When selecting raspberries, choose those that are plump, slightly soft, have a deep color, and good aroma. Avoid overly soft and dull-colored berries. If buying in a container, check the bottom to see if it is stained or leaking juice, which will indicate that they are too soft and overripe. (they do not ripen more after they are picked)
Adding sugar, lemon juice, or orange juice to raspberries will help preserve their bright color.
Avoid washing raspberries if possible. If it is necessary,use as little water as possible to prevent the raspberries from absorbing too much water and becoming mushy.
If picking your own raspberries, pick berries off gently to avoid bruising and pick in the morning for sweeter, longer lasting berries.
One pint of fresh raspberries is equal to 1 3/4 cups.
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Forgotten Cookies
Below is a recipe that, hand to God, I actually made this past cooking Sunday.
Only I LEFT THE OVEN ON!
Read the directions. The whole idea is to put them in an oven pre-heated to 350 degrees and then turned off. Silly me, I left the oven on.
Even at that they tasted pretty good.
They’re a snap to make.
Forgotten Cookies
2 egg whites
2/3 c sugar
1 c chopped walnuts
12-oz pkg semi-sweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Beat egg whites until stiff; gradually add sugar and beat until mixture forms peaks. Fold in nuts and chocolate chips. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto baking sheets and place in oven. Turn oven off and leave cookies in oven until oven is cold; do not peek. Makes 3 dozen.
More Cooking Posts HERE
The Picture They Tried to Hide
Even mine own wise self had second thoughts.
But the picture was featured on a busy web site. So the two or three people who read this Blog should be able to see it as well.
It’s our own VP “Dick” Cheney.
With his first name in quotes because, well check the area around his crotch.
Another first brought to you by the Kaitlyn Mae Book Blog.
More pics of week HERE
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