Rocky and Bullwinkle
Yesterday, a Friday with a 10/28/05 date in this year of our Lord, the vaunted prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald spent over ten million taxpayer dollars to hand down five indictments to VP Cheney's Chief of Staff, Scooter Libby.
It was Occam's Razor run amok.
Here's what happened. A sleazy diplomat, Joe Wilson, went to Niger on a self-appointed jaunt to get at the truth about Iraqi attempts to purchase yellowcake uranium. There are so many lies and twists and distortions about Wilson, and his outed CIA agent wife, Valerie Plame, I simply can't go there. Trust if this were a cartoon, it would be Rocky the Flying Squirrel. Joe Wilson would be Boris Badnov. Valerie would be Boris' sidekick Natasha Fatale. Rocky would be, of course, Scooter Libby, with his sidekick, Bullwinkle, represented by Carl Rove.
Patrick Fitzgerald is on the side of the "good guys" as Captain Peter "Wrong Way" Peachfuzz.
We do not know who "Fearless Leader" is, as we did not during the Rocky cartoon and as we do not in the Wilson/Plame/Scooter real life cartoon.
We do know that a Fearless Leader sent Joe Badnov off to find out if the deadly enemy of Frostbite Falls Minnesota, Pottsylvania colony Niger, was making yellow corn meal in such abundance it could wipe out Frostbite Falls' crop of flour, thus wiping Frostbite Falls' off the planet. Joe Badnov did discover Niger making yellow corn meal in great quantities but, perhaps at Fearless Leader's instruction, instead chose to report that Niger was not making any yellow corn meal, that Frostbite Falls' flour crop is safe, and any attempt by Rocky to invade Pottsylvania's colony would be based on an erroneous assumption. Jo Badnov even decided to report these lies in Frostbite Falls' largest newspaper, The Icicle.
Bullwinkle, meanwhile, is very upset over Joe Badnov's lies, and Rocky is already out and about and in action.
And so Rocky, who really did fib to the Frostbite Falls' grand jury, doesn't emerge the hero. Joe Badnov and Valerie Fatale snickers can be heard all over Frostbite Falls. Bullwinkle just escaped jail by Peachfuzz himself.
Badnov and Fatale report to Fearless Leader.
"We won, boss"