TV Review-Skating With the Stars
Celebrities, it would seem, can do much more than just being, well, celebrated. Indeed, as reported here, Simon Cowell of American Idol fame is himself starting a "doing something with stars/celebrities" show. In Cowell's case, the celebrities will be singing, duh, with professional singers. Celebrities who do not, and this is important, normally sing. Chris Matthews of Hardball fame, for example, might be able to carry a tune for all we know. He might then be teamed up with Celine Dion and boom, let the show begin.
We now have celebrities skating and soon enough, well the possibilities are endless. Next up, Building a House With the Stars. We'd have Martin Sheen building a White House with Ty, the builder from Extreme Makeover-Home Edition. Or how about Basketball With the Stars? There would be Donald Sutherland playing the Harlem Globetrotters, for example. It’s win-win for the out-of-favor celebrities, the judges without meaningful employment, and the pretty hosts and hostesses needing some work. Win-win for all save the viewing audience, that might snooze from overkill.
I tuned into Fox's Skating With the Stars Wednesday, 1/18/06, at 9 p.m. The judges include John Nicks, Mark Lund, and Dorothy Hamill. The competition began with six starting teams of skaters. They are:
The judges score by a two-tiered system, one for technical merit and the other for artistic impression. The audience can phone in votes which comprise half the total scores for the celebrity skaters.
The challenge that first night of competition was for the celebrity skater to perform three complete spins. The music was from the movies.
As is often the case with these sorts of shows, the "celebrities" are often not all that well known. In the case of Skating With Celebrities, the skating partners are often more well known, at least as I see it, then the celebrities. Nancy Kerrigan, for example, is well known as the skater who got her knees banged up by that other nasty skater.
Myself likes to watch ice-skating now and again. It might well be a woman thing. I like the pretty costumes and admire the fluidity of movement on the ice. Beyond that, I know basically nothing about ice-skating. I am, I’d argue, exactly the audience the show aims to target: a woman between ages 25 and 60 who likes to watch pretty movement with astoundingly beautiful costumes.
Personal “credentials” established, my critiques on the skating celebrities and their partners.
The celebrity skater who ended up with the highest score was Jillian Barberie. Her Bio as follows:
Jillian Barberie brings her 14-year career as a co-host and weather forecaster and her signature fashion expertise to "Good Day LA," the Emmy Award-winning, top-rated FOX morning show. She reports for the show's "Style File," the daily segment that spotlights the hottest and most current trends in celebrity and everyday fashion. She also created the show's popular "Adopt-a-Pet" segment.
Barberie has made special appearances on several television shows. In September 2000 she joined the "FOX NFL Sunday" team with Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and James Brown.
Barberie and her partner scored a 25.8 for technical merit and a 26.0 for artistic impression. Bringing their total to 51.8, making them the only skating couple to go over a combined score of 50 out of a possible 60 points. I thought Jillian and her partner made some difficult moves and she performed what I considered a fine and fluid spin. The judges termed the routine a “first class performance.”
Celebrity skater Deborah Gibson also performed some fancy legwork but I’d call her spins just okay. The judges declared there was “too much fluff”. Gibson and her partner scored a total 48.0 for the night.
Dave Coulier, a celebrity skater who partnered with Nancy Kerrigan, did a fine job. Although I still do not recognize Coulier as a celebrity and consider Kerrigan the more famous of the two. Coulier is an ice-hockey enthusiast and that certainly helped with the practice. For their routine, both skaters dressed in identical outfits, smashingly clever. The judges opined that they recognized the ice-hockey moves right from the start. This middle-aged woman didn’t notice a thing. Dave and Nancy scored a total of 49.3, bringing them in at number two in that night’s competition.
A surprising entry in the competition is former Olympic champion Bruce Jenner. Jenner is now 55 years old and complains of bad knees. I thought Jenner and his partner did a nice job. Judge Dorothy Hamill (another name more well-known to me than many of the celebrities) declared the routine “beautiful”. Jenner and his partner scored a total of 48.8, pretty good for an old guy.
A celebrity who might be more widely recognized is Todd Bridges of Diff’rent Strokes fame. Todd was a young child in that series. Now that he’s all grown, he fancies himself as a skater. Todd is alleged to be a roller skater so that talent, I must assume, would translate easily to skating on ice. During Bridges’ routine he picked up his partner at one point but I thought it very lame. I also detected a stumble. Hamill said she “loved it”, at which point another judge handed Dorothy of the famed haircut his glasses. Todd and his partner scored a 47.7 points for their routine.
The celebrity skater and her partner with the lowest score of the night was Kristy Swanson. Being a female contender in this series has its advantages as I surmise it. Female contenders can be picked up by their professional skating partner and carried around for a good part of the routine. Male contenders have to do the carrying as it’s simply not proper protocol for the female partner to carry her male partner around on the ice. Kristy and her partner scored a total of 47.5 points out of a possible 60.
Kristy’s Bio below.
Born in Mission Viejo, CA, Kristy Swanson began getting acting work in commercials at 9 and had over 30 commercials on her resume by the time she was 13. She continued working on commercials before making her feature film debut in the John Hughes' films "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Pretty in Pink."
Swanson originated the role of "Buffy" in the feature "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Her additional feature film credits include "Flowers in the Attic" with Academy Award-winning actress Louise Fletcher, "Hot Shots!" with Charlie Sheen, "The Program" with James Caan, "The Phantom" opposite Billy Zane, "8 Heads in a Duffle Bag" starring Joe Pesci and David Spade and "Higher Learning" directed by John Singleton.
Even though Kristy Swanson got the lowest scores of the first night’s competition, the other scores were quite close. Meaning the scores don’t necessarily telegraph an immediate loser right. At least as I see it. The only major note from the scores delivered is that skater Jillian Barberie did pull soundly out in front of her competitors.
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Cats and Chili Peppers
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Caught In the Act
The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master Bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!
"You unfaithful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house, I want a divorce!"
The husband replies, "Wait, wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened."
"It'll be the last thing I'll hear from you so make it fast."
The husband begins to tell his story . . .
"While driving home this young lady asks for a ride. I saw her so
defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that
she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that
she had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion and hurt, I brought
her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor
thing, practically inhaled them.
Since she was very dirty I asked her to take a shower. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw
her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans
that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear because
they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on
our anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."
The husband continues his story . . ."The young woman was very grateful
to me and I walked her to the door. When we got to the door she turned
around and with tears coming out of her eyes, she asks me:
"Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"
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