Some Pics; Some Sunday Smiles
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More pics of week HERE
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Shooting the Bull
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter every where, then just walks out.  The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" (hang on, this is really good......) The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for upper management position in United States Government: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day. |
Birth Control
There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal. The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile. Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counselor if you keep a good record. He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them. He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was , The pail and saucer, method. After a short delay, he again told her that should also work. He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going. They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet. Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied that she used the rhythm method but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby. He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied,the birth control pill but we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby. He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you. She replied, Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him. |
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More Fish Giggles HERE
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TV Review: Skating With Celebrities-Three Teams Left
It seems that all of the skating teams got a whole lot better this past week, 2/6/06, when I tuned into this Fox answer to ABC’s successful Dancing With the Stars.
As the show progressed and with each backstage vignette, it occurred to me why I enjoy this sort of competition. Yea with tongue in cheek I’ve remarked about has-been celebrities making a comeback on these shows. For I’ve not seen Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie donning skates or dancing shoes to dance or skate around the floor after endless and grueling practice sessions.
It occurred to me while watching the remaining four contenders that for all of my wisecracks about fading fame, that these folks really do have to work hard to try and reclaim their former fame, such as it may have been. Or they work hard to achieve even greater fame, as the case may be.
Now what could be wrong with this? Ice is really hard stuff and according to some of the vignettes, Kristy was recovering from a nasty fall from her last routine, poor semi-elderly Bruce took 16 stitches from a fall during practice and goodness Jillian at first suffered a groin injury and recently took another fall which had her in the emergency room.
I’d rather have fame awarded to those willing to work and suffer some pain than those would-be celebrities who rode around on canoes after Hurricane Katrina with cameramen by their side.
At any rate, with four contenders left from the original six, even more difficult skating routines were added to the point where most of the teams looked quite professional. All except one team, I’d argue, though that team was not eliminated.
It was the team of Nancy Kerrigan and Dave Coulier eliminated on this night. By me, much as I admire Bruce Jenner of my age group, he looks entirely too awkward on skates whereas Dave Coulier seems much smoother. Nancy and Dave were eliminated with a combined score of 52.7, which the host pronounced was their highest score of the competition.
The remaining contenders are:
Bruce and Tai stumbled at the beginning of their routine and I could swear I witnessed a really bad misstep at the end of their routine that looked very bad. Still this team scored a combined total of 54.7 and will move on to another show.
Kristy Swanson performed beautifully that night although goodness I hated that outfit. It was some sort of leather affair and looked to have cuts and slashes in the legs so popular in jeans. The judges pronounced her routine “well done” and I was impressed by how smoothly Kristy performed some rather difficult moves. Kristy scored a combined total of 55.9 (out of a possible 60), a score pronounced the highest in the competition to date.
Then Jillian Barberie takes to the ice and she had been the darling of this competition. Dorothy Hamill pronounced that she has seen pros that don’t do as well as Jillian and her partner.
I thought Jillian’s performance was perfect and was impressed all to hell at how fluidly she landed after several difficult moves. Jillian too received that same high score of 55.9, leaving us to wonder what would happen if the final two contenders managed to score higher than this, would both Jillian and Kristy be eliminated?
Below, pictures of the final three contenders with my prediction of their final placement.
Earlier reviews on the show were published on 1/22/06, and
1/29/06. The most recent review published on 2/5/06.
More TV Reviews HERE
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