Pop Culture Update 8/4/06

Miss Universe 2006-A Former Women’s Libber Critiques

Pic of the Day
Outrageous fingernails

Quote of the Day
"Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like
trying to read a Playboy with your wife turning the pages."
--Barry Goldwater, 1964 Republican presidential nominee

"If guns are outlawed, how can we shoot the liberals?"
--Mike Gunn, Mississippi state senator, 1991

"We have every mixture you can imagine. I have a black, I
have a woman, two Jews and a cripple."
--James Watt, Secretary of the Interior, 1981-83, describing
an Interior Department advisory group.

Web Site Worth the Visit
Those Wiretaps

Here's a cute animation of those wiretapping guys.



~ ** Wet Oatmeal Kisses...... ** ~

A young mother writes:
"I know you've written before about the empty-nest syndrome -- that lonely period after the children are grown and gone.

Right now, I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you.''

OK. One of these days you'll explode and shout to the kids, "Why don't you grow up and act your age?" ......and they will.


"You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do. And don't slam the door!"
......and they don't.

You'll straighten up the boys' bedroom neat and tidy -- bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay this way.'' .......and it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal for company.''
.....and you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do your hear?'' .....and you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti.
No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.
No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.
No mo! re clothespins under the sofa.
No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent
No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathrooms.
No more iron-on-patches, wet, knotted shoestrings, tight boots, or rubber bands for ponytails.
Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it.
No baby sitter for New Year's Eve.
Washing only once a week.
Seeing a steak that isn't ground.
Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.
No PTA meetings.
No car pools.
No blaring radios.
No one washing her h! air at 11 o'clock at night.
Having your own roll of Scotch tape.
No more dandelion bouquets.
Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste.
No more sloppy oatmeal kisses.
No more tooth fairy.
No giggles in the dark.
No knees to heal, no responsibility.
Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?'' and the silence echoing, "I did."

by Erma Bombeck
She originally called this "Be Careful What You Ask for."

 Posted by Hello

Miss Universe 2006

She wore a dress entirely made of chains and fainted during the after-award press conference.

Her name is Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza and she is Miss Puerto Rico, now Miss Universe 2006.

I have some thoughts on this year's Miss Universe pageant, some of them not so good.

Miss Universe Crown

Design by Mikimoto. The official jewelry sponsor of the Miss Universe Organization.

Kept by the Miss Universe Organization to be used in the crowning of the new Miss Universe every year

Valued at $250,000

800 diamonds, almost 18 carats.

120 pearls South Sea and Akoya pearls, ranging in size from 3.0 - 18 mm

Design depicts the phoenix rising, which signifies status, power and beauty

The Crown was designed specifically for the pageant on Mikimoto Pearl Island in Japan, Mikimoto crown and tiara first used for Miss Universe 2002

Once a women's libber of the highest (AND WORST) order, I considered beauty pageants, you all should understand, the enemy.

All grown up now, I have realized how the NOW gang used me and my passionate ilk but let's not go there. For as I sat down to objectively watch a beauty pageant I cleared my brain of preconceived notions and decided to do an honest critique of a contest of females vying for a coveted prize. A critique void of my former notion that beauty pageants make meat of women and strip of their humanity.

I decided beauty pageants still do that but I've some more expansive thoughts on the matter.

First, do not kid thyself. Every contestant in that Miss Universe 2006 pagent was a "professional beautiful woman", if there is such a job. In my libber days, I hated beauty pageants mostly because they presented women for the leering of men who then expected every other woman on the planet to look like the contestant objects of their male lust.

The NOW gang help nurture my hatred of leering males and I resented greatly, if I were to be honest, the fact that I was nowhere near the level of beauty of any beauty pageant entrant. Well sure most normal American women were near that level but I was only worried about me at the time.

This past week I studied the female entrant to the Miss Universe pageant and I realized, what with new objectivity and everything, that these women were females who will, perhaps for the rest of their lives, be professional beautiful women and hey, if you can make money at it than more power to you.

Miss USA 2006First, every damn one of those women were entirely too skinny and that's a real problem. Don't give me that bit about Americans being too fat (we are) or even suggest that my own fine fluffy self was not objective enough to see "thin" when it was right in front of me. Get outta here. Those contestant ALL had ribs that jutted through female chests as if a victim of an Ethiopian famine. Some of those women had other jutting bones over their body and while the women displayed their skinny bodies proudly I really did try to mentally become a man and pondered if I was a man, would I be so quick to jump on those bones.

This was not easy, of course, in that I am not a man, go with me here, and male lust is something I've simply not experienced my own personal self. One contestant had at least ten bones sticking up off of her, from hips to ribs to wrists. Her body looked like a pocket billiards table. Mentally I try to drift off to the male mindset and I imagine my male alter ego seeing this bony woman across a crowded room.

So okay, my male alter ego responded that yes, indeed, if this beautiful bony woman were to give me the go ahead, yeah, I'd probably jump those bones. But my male alter ego self did mourn the lack of comfortable flesh on the lady and I wondered if those jutting bones could somehow cause injury to my mythical male parts should I jump them too hard.

If any of this is making any sense.

Second, these professional beautiful women all wore entirely too much makeup but hey, it was a beauty contest, I understand that. It's just that their faces simply did not look real. Their eyebrows, goodness, every one of them appeared to be painted and sculpted by DaVinci himself.

Miss Universe 2006Third, why even bother asking them questions? I mean who are we kidding here? I know the idea is to present the contestants with thought-provoking questions that would have the contestants rising above their beauty to present the world and live audience with soul-searing answers to questions that perplex the planet and all of humankind.

Which statement might suggest I cling steadfastly to the stereotype that such beautiful women are invariably stupid. Which I do not.

Hey, to be a professional beautiful woman takes a lot of work. I'd guess that every minute of a working day involves such as skin and hair care, proper pasting of clothing to cover needed body parts just so, and, of course, requirements for eye froufrou that would artfully shadow eyelids and make eyeballs glow. There just isn't enough time to be reading up on current events and such. To take the high road and pretend that these professional beautiful women have hidden reservoirs of wisdom deep within their brains that will pop up magically in the midst of a nerve-wracking beauty contest is a bit naïve in the least.

One contestant was asked what the most pressing world problem was, I'm not making this up-they really asked this. I forget who it was but that particular professional beautiful woman went on and on about the danger of the males of the planet and how they had to be stopped. I am not making this up, it was bizarre, folks.

As for the swimsuit segment, the nemesis of the NOW gang, wow, things sure have changed since the old one-piece Miss America pageants. Which, please understand, I no longer have puritan reservations or qualms about these contestants showing off their bodies. Who are we kidding, again? These Miss Universe contestants wore blatant bikinis and they were not obscene or anything. What I did think was in very poor taste was having these ladies out dancing in these bikinis. While I've grown beyond my former anger at leering males and scantily clad females, it seems to me that having these woman dance in bikinis was a bit demeaning.

They didn't actually come out on the stage and pirouette all about in their abbreviated costumes. How it was done, some icky rap group or another performed in front of a backdrop of a group of bikini-clad contestants. The group performing received the main spotlight but at times the camera panned over to the group of contestants as the guest group performed. I'm thinking they were told it would be prudent to dance in place to the music, a sort of "moving to the beat" kind of thing. But why, I ask, in that little bikini? It was a bit lascivious, actually.

Finally, what's the deal with the judges?
The celebrity judging panel included actor James Lesure of "Las Vegas"; "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry; actress Bridgette Wilson Sampras; former Dallas Cowboys star Emmitt Smith; and anchor Maria Celeste Arraras of Telemundo's "Al Rojo Vivo."

Read the qualifications of the above judges and someone tell me what qualifies them to judge a beauty contest? A former Dallas Cowboys star?

More Miss Universe 2006 information below.


Rivera, 18, won the title over 85 other contestants. Kurara Chibana of Japan was first runner-up; Lauriane Gillieron of Switzerland was second runner-up; and Lourdes Arevalos of Paraguay was third runner-up. Miss USA Tara Conner finished fourth

Woman Killed By Pet Hybrid Wolves

Dear Lord, what on earth are pet hybrid wolves?

Now I know, yon ladies and gems, that dogs are related to wolves. In fact I myself own a dog that I swear is a wolf.

This lady had nine of the things and she had been warned repeatedly by the Humane people that she was in danger.

So long as there are dumb weird people, this sort of thing will continue to happen. Darwin called it culling of the inferior, I paraphrase.

GREENSBURG, Pa. -- A Westmoreland County woman has been killed by her pet hybrid wolves that she kept in a pen in her back yard.

The county coroner said 50-year-old Sandra Piovesan, of Salem Township, Ore., was alive when she was attacked and she bled to death.

The death was ruled an accident.

Media Nuggets

Thanks to Freeper Anita at FreeRepublic.

  • NPR correspondent & FNS panelist Juan Williams' son Tony Williams is a Republican(!). In 2000 he was a communications and public-relations assistant for the RNC, Bush's presidential campaign & speechwriter for Sen. Norm Coleman. Looks like he was influenced MORE by his God-father (Justice Clarence Thomas) than by his father.
  • Rupert Murdoch extends Fox's "fair & balance" to new level, hosted a fundraiser breakfast for Hillary Clinton & fundraiser lunch for John McCain, on the same day.
  • Remember CBS had egg on it's face with it's discredited "Guard" story? Now, CBS decides to reach to more people thro'egg-vertising. Some of their planned slogans: "CSI" ("Crack the Case on CBS"); "The Amazing Race" ("Scramble to Win on CBS"); and "Shark" ("Hard-Boiled Drama."). Variations on the ad for its Monday night lineup of comedy shows include "Shelling Out Laughs," "Funny Side Up" and "Leave the Yolks to Us."
  • Advertising revenue at The Wall Street Journal, including Weekend Edition, increased 17.4% in June on a 17.9% increase in advertising volume.
  • Disney to lay off 650 employees & make fewer films as movies no longer prime engine of growth.
  • Unattributed:
    Fox is shooting several pilots with Laura Ingraham, Mike Gallagher, Bob Beckel & Alexis Glick(formerly NBC) to decide for possible substitute for the soon-to-be-cancelled low ratings show - "Day Side". Mike Jerrick and Juliet Huddy will get a morning show on 28 local Fox networks(not FNC) after the fall season.


    From: Janet Charlton BLIND ITEM 7/22**
    This comic actor is known from TV and movies as a clean cut, almost nerdy, but hilarious guy. But does HE like to party! At a recent VH-1 awards show in Las vegas he hooked up with a sexy pornstar who looks just like Jessica Rabbit - hugely endowed and curvy, with flowing red hair. They spent the whole weekend holed up in his room and rarely came up for air. Nonstop shenanigans - drugs, booze and kinky sex. After that first encounter she became a frequent visitor to his place in LA. Anything goes with "Jessica" - and he's a willing partner. She likes guys to dress up in drag and he does. She even talked him into having a three way with his best friend and a good time was had by all. His friends are starting to wonder if he's "addicted" - either to her or to sex, and how far this relationship will go.

  • Tim Allen! Shame on you!
  • Drew Carey

    From: **NY Daily News BLIND ITEM 7/23**
    Which A-list Oscar winner has a boozy brother who periodically shakes her down for money lest he shop family secrets to the press?

  • Reese Witherspoon
  • Julia Roberts (Eric Roberts)

    How Many Wondered If Oprah Was Gay?


    You know what it is? We have soldiers over in the Mideast and now there's a war between Israel and Lebanon. These silly celebrities seem to think that THEY should be the center of attention, goodness.

    And how desperate do you have to be to actually garner attention by denying a rumor that no one was repeating?

    From the NY Post Page 6

    "I've told nearly everything there is to tell. All my stuff is out there," Oprah says. "People think I'd be so ashamed of being gay that I wouldn't admit it? Oh, please."

    But public-relations gurus - most of whom declined to speak on the record - say the maneuver will backfire by only bringing more attention to the rumors.

    "There must be a billion people who would have never even suspected it," said Bobby Zarem, the legendary spin-master portrayed by Al Pacino in "People I Know" (2003). "This brings attention to something that the average person never thought about. It's a huge, huge mistake."

    Matthew McConaughey Has Sex With Planet Earth

    No, I didn't put the pic here. But it is a silly hoot and like the above, a sign of how far these ENTERTAINERS (let us stipulate as they too often think they are our political pundits) will go to get attention.


    These 10 athletes Were Considered "Perfect."

    Wedman-Best Athlete10. Scott Wedman

    9. Eric Heiden
    8. Fabio Grosso
    7. Sandy Koufax
    6. Secretariat
    5. Mark Spitz
    4. Christian Laettner
    3. Rocky Marciano
    2. Don Larsen
    1. Nadia Comaneci

    Sandy Koufax-Best Athlete
    Katharine McPhee Strangeness

    This year's American Idol finalists are on tour and I think it's damn odd that runner-up Katharine McPhee isn't there.

    Although it does say she's sick but still. When these kids are competing I've seen them perform damn near death.

    The "American Idol" Season 5 runner-up - who July 5 blamed severe bronchitis and laryngitis for her inability to perform - was still conspicuously missing from the "Idol" tour Thursday.

    The other "Idols" - winner Taylor Hicks, 2nd runner-up Elliot Yamin, Chris Daughtry, Paris Bennett, Kellie Pickler, Ace Young, Mandisa and Bucky Covington - didn't seem to suffer from her absence.

    WORST Theme Park Ever

    I've come across this tale of an Egyptian theme park and for several weeks now have passed it by. For now I'd like to include the link because yon ladies and gems, this really IS the Worst Theme Park Ever.

    Theme Park

    More Gossip/Speculation HERE
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