Iraqis Give Terrorists the Finger
Ladies and Gems: I came across the following missive in my Internet travels. No author identified. It is one of those ubiquitous narratives that poke around emails and group lists across the world wide web.
Yet I kept returning to the words time and again. Because for all of our joking, there’s so much truth to it all that I had to immortalize it by adding thoughts of my own. The original text is in italics. My comments are in bold.
I figure I better get this all on record for Kaitlyn Mae, who will probably not believe a word of it.
TO THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's....
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Indeed I wonder how on earth this all happened. Surely I agree that a pregnant woman should not drink but there was, horrors, a time when pregnant women were encouraged to drink a glass of wine a day! There were not a billion malformed babies due to alcohol abuse. And as for smoking, well everyone smoked. Yet again, the babies were born. My own baby weighed in at a big healthy 8 ½ pounds from her mother who smoked during pregnancy. Had I not been a smoker she might well have been a giant freakzoid baby!
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored
lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we
rode our bikes, we had no helmets.
Yes indeed. For years we munched on this lead based paint and who knows what prices we paid. As for a house outfitted with special cabinet locks, child-proof medicines and screaming alarms, well we had none of this. If our parents caught us where we shouldn’t ought to be, they smacked our hands.
Helmets for bikes? No way my father would spend extra money on such nonsense. We were lucky to even have bikes.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in
the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
As urban children, we used to hook our skateboards on the back of MTA buses. Sometimes we just hopped up on them and rode along standing on the bumper in the back.
Seatbelts? We were way too busy fighting. If one of us really got on the nerves of another sibling, we just opened the car door and threw the offending child out!
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
Myself was actually a very thin child. Although there was always a healthy appetite and a big-boned body to carry me along.
Our greatest childhood joy was to get a hold of some extra pennies and raid the local five and dime’s candy case. We never heard of sugar highs. We were already high on life.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back
when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
There was a period when we lived on a farm. All three of us would jump on the back of that old hand-cranked tractor and ride along merrily, bouncing and falling off, sometimes getting run over.
We would haul our sleds up the farm hill after a snow. Holding it out in front of us, we would take off on a run, slam the sled onto the ground and immediately throw ourselves on the vehicle, belly first, face down. We’d run into briars and brambles and sometimes we’d narrowly miss a car if sledding down a hill near a street.
While I’d beat Kaitlyn senseless if I caught her engaged in such dangerous play, I can only recall our naiveté and the endless fun it gave us.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms.... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
We had to actually get up from the chair to change the TV channel. And all we had were three channels, all black and white.
But I never knew I was missing a thing. I loved to listen to baseball on the radio. And for almost forever there’s been books.
Goodness us kids, brothers, sisters and friends, were always getting into fights of some kind. My dad hated it when we would get beat up by another kid. Then he would make us go outside and fight the kid ALL OVER AGAIN!
We played Parcheesi, candyland, go to the head of the class, canasta, pinochle. At one time we took up archery and when that was mastered, we all learned croquet.
I look back on that turbulent childhood and somehow, I never recall being bored.
Planned Parenthood Encourages PRIDE in Your Abortion
Listen, folks, The Wise I is not, or will I ever, espouse or endorse any sort of ban on early term abortion. That partial birth thing is a whole nother matter.
But lately I’ve noticed that the vaunted organization, Planned Parenthood, is kind of, well, “overdoing” it a bit in its support of abortion. Not that this group doesn’t get taxpaying dollars and not that its bureaucrats wouldn’t like to keep their nice cushy jobs same as any bureaucrat.
But their endless campaign to endorse abortion, an action even the liberals say should be “legal, but scarce” needs to slowed down a bit. Now PP is encouraging women to be “proud” of their abortions; to proclaim it proudly from the mountain tops. Such websites as I’m Not Sorry.Net are the result of this new public relations campaign that would have women shouting their abortion pride to the world.
Something, ladies and gems, is off kilter about this whole thing. And someone should be keeping a close eye on the bureaucrats who stand to benefit by promoting abortion as a form of birth control.
The "I Had An Abortion" T-shirts Planned Parenthood sold online last year were an attempt to "demystify and destigmatize it," said a spokesman for the group. The strategy here is to normalize abortion, make it so commonplace that no one will think to question it. If you can talk happily and casually about your abortions -- as Barbara Ehrenreich did in the New York Times last year in a piece titled "Owning Up to Abortion" -- then how bad can the practice be?
Below, a picture of an actual “I’mNotSorry” coffee mug.
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Man peed way out of avalanche
A little ingenuity and some extra beer might one day too save your life.
From Ananova.Com
A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.
Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.
He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.
But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.
He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.
He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours
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Just in Time for the Oscars
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More from One of BabaWaWa’s Most Intriguing People of 2004
Ever since ole Barbara Walter’s felt Paris Hilton was so intruiging that out of all the people on the planet Walter’s placed her in the top 50 most intriguing, well I’ve been mesmerized by the exploits of this mysterious Ms. Hilton. After all, BabaWawa said so.
So I come across this tidbit about the intriguing Paris and just had to share.
A security videotape obtained exclusively by "Celebrity Justice"
allegedly shows Hilton heiress Paris stealing one of her sex DVD's from a West Hollywood newsstand last month. Newsstand clerk Jerry Castro told us what he saw: "She threw her eighty cents change at me and took the video and said, 'I'm taking this and I'm not buying it.'"
Dozens of organizations, from the United States to India, are picking up the story "CJ" broke -- and Paris could face vandalism and petty theft charges for it.
But things may be about to get even more difficult for "The Simple Life" star, who could face a separate investigation for dropping the F-bomb, in an incident that allegedly occurred on a fire dispatch radio in Atlantic City, New Jersey, earlier this month.
According to witnesses, Paris got on the radio system and said,"Ladder one, okay, mother-******."
It might not set off a firestorm of controversy, but the FCC could investigate since it rules the airwaves -- even those used by dispatchers.
The alleged f-word faux pas happened as Hilton and travel buddy Nicole Richie were filming the upcoming "Simple Life 3." And the show is already the subject of some controversy. New Jersey authorities recently issued summons to two men who may have illegally shot a deer for use in the shooting of "The Simple Life."
Right now it all might be a bit confusing to yon readers but give the info time to digest. Intrigue, ladies and gems, is meant to convey mystery and a deeper depth than ordinary mortals comprehend.
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Trading Spaces Player Trading Places
Here’s a tidbit right up mine own alley.
For I have often thought that Paige Davis, host of The Learning Channel’s “Trading Spaces”, should get herself a gig on the Playboy Channel or something a bit more “adult”.
Mine keen eyes have always seen a blatant exhibitionist in this woman and her weirdness is sometimes barely contained in her role as host to what is essentially a family series.
Then there’s plenty of rumors around about Ms. Davis and now we hear she’s leaving “Trading Spaces”.
Which I think is a good thing because that woman jiggling those boobs or shaking that butt around on a home decorating show was about to make me puke.
Take it where they’ll better appreciate, Paige, baby.
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**Star Blind Items 2/7**
What daytime talk-show gabber has got her dry cleaners holding their
noses? Reportedly, her clothes come into the shop with an awful stench
that can only be attributed to really bad body odor!
GUESS: Star Jones
What buxom blonde beauty and her new boyfriend have photos from their
steamy first night together? She blabbed to a friend that camera-phone
pictures were taken during that inaugural evening of bliss.
GUESS: Jenna Bush
ED: This blind item really does scream Jenna Bush or at least one of the Bush girls, what with that “inaugural” clue. Although I question if Jenna or Laura could properly be described as ‘buxom’.
What two Golden Globe attendees got paid to wear jewelry for Chopard?
One, a nominee, got $250,000 and the other a former Globe winner,took
home a cool $100,000 just to parade around in the precious metals - a
tough job, but someone's got to do it!
NO GUESS
What hard-working reality TV star recently fell asleep on the bathroom
floor of a club? Her friends got worried after she'd been in the
ladies room for such a long time, they barged in, only to discover she
was taking a snooze. She blamed the impromptu nap on too much working
-- and partying.
NO GUESS
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