Royalty Dies and Royalty Weds
Prince Ranier of Monoco is in serious shape so we hear. That monarchy has problems as well as the British monarchy. We hear Prince Andrew, Ranier’s only son, is not married and it has been arranged for daughter Caroline to ascend to the throne in the event of her father’s death.
Ranier married America’s sweetheart Princess Grace. She died in a horrific car accident and from the exploits reported over the years the girls from that union have lots of men problems.
Ah, and the jug-eared Prince of Britain, a fellow who would be selling washing machines at Sears were it not for his kingly heritage, is set to marry his beloved Camilla in two weeks.
The Wise I shall keep a close eye on these pending nuptials as it is the final chapter of the tale of Charles, Camilla and Diana.
~~~~~~~~~~~
ASKED:
Which sexy starlet in an upcoming release put on her diva boots while
filming down South? She developed a nasty habit of throwing objects at assistants, and whined that she was "only doing this movie" because a pushy parent forced her.
GUESSED
Jessica Simpson who is purported to be filming there now?
Lindsay Lohan?
~~~~~~~~~~
American Idol Judge Uses Bad Judgment
Paula Abdul hit a car and decided not to bother to stop as is considered polite.
Thank God for photo cell phones because a pic of her car and tag was captured on one and Paula found herself in the local police precinct.
Initially Paula denied the allegations but as of this writing she has settled the case. Something she didn’t do, yon readers understand, voluntarily.
From The DailyDish:
The driver claims Abdul took off, never stopping to exchange information, but he took a photo of the star's car on his camera phone after his
girlfriend, a passenger, recognized the driver.
Abdul later told the authorities that her car could not have been involved in the collision because it was being repaired at the time.
It has since been discovered that the "American Idol" judge took her car to
Mercedes Benz of Beverly Hills the day after the accident, complaining that she'd broken down on the freeway.
~~~~~~~~~~
Whitney Will Always Love Drugs
My, my,my, my ,my. Will the Houston diva ever stop the drugs?
From Yahoo.com we find:
Pop diva Whitney Houston has checked back into
a drug rehabilitation program, a year after first entering a program for substance abuse, her publicist said on Wednesday.
It was not immediately clear where Houston was seeking treatment or when the Grammy-winning singer and actress had first entered the facility.
"Whitney Houston has reentered a facility for rehabilitation," publicist Nancy Seltzer said in a brief statement.
~~~~~~~~~~
The Party Continues in Merryland
In late February I first posted about the flap in my home state of Merryland
involving Ehrlich and the Democrats he must babysit. Seems Ehrlich is firing a bunch of useless state Bureaucrats and they don’t like it. Government bureaucrats belong to the big service unions which report directly to the Democrat party.
The saga continues now involving the Washington Post, the FreeRepublic web site and a new player in the game, a lady who accuses Ehrlich of punishing her unfairly.
Hey, Ehrlich, Democrats are like nasty little Chihuahuas. They will bite you in the ankles until they tear the tendons and cause your collapse.
From The unbiased Washington Post:
And after a winter of partisanship and allegations of political dirty tricks, the tension ratcheted up another level when Ehrlich (R) stood in front of the State House and charged that there was a campaign at work to make his administration look bad.
"We really want to know about any political orchestration" by Democrats, Ehrlich told reporters
Ehrlich's comments yesterday marked the latest twist in a story that has roiled Annapolis politics and intensified partisan differences that have marred the 90-day General Assembly session. Even before the Steffen story broke, there was a controversy over Ehrlich's annual State of the State address, in which the governor scolded Democratic lawmakers for not showing him proper respect. There also have been tussles over Democratic senators' refusal to confirm scores of gubernatorial appointments, and there have been allegations of a Republican purge of seasoned state employees.
The Bizarre Trial of Michael Jackson
Refer to my first post on the Michael Jackson trial for more info on this case.
The Wise I is almost convinced that Mr. Jackson, wonderful benefactor to children across the planet as he asserts, will get his free crime given by California to their beloved celebrities.
On this day of our Lord the judge has agreed to allow testimony from earlier alleged victims of Michael Jackson, lover of children so much that he gives cancer-ridden children with one kidney cokes cans full of “Jesus Juice” wine and invites them to his bed. And not for innocent sleep as he alleges.
The judge’s ruling is not a good sign for Michael.
The defense attorneys are doing the best they can with their weird client but the judge asserted earlier in the trial that if he thought the prosecution was proving their case that he would allow testimony of earlier molestation incidents to be heard by the jury.
And so he did.
Fox news reported that one of the people giving testimony would be McCaulhay Caulkin of “Home Alone” fame.
Jackson does like to pluck his potential victims from a pool of around-13-year-olds from dysfunctional families. A stupid mother also helps. Caulkin’s family is on record as being strange.
An interesting twist in this newly allowed testimony is that the victims themselves will not be testifying; that they would all deny molestation incidents. Now I’m not sure why this is so but one victim did get some millions as widely reported. Perhaps it was part of their settlement that he refuse to testify against Jackson. Caulkin might not have received a money settlement but he does have an acting career to protect. His refusal to testify might be based on the fact that confessions of use and abuse by Michael Jackson would not be good for image and the procurement of starring roles. Witnesses to the abuse in the earlier incidents will be testifying instead.
So far Michael has behaved beautifully during the trial, as would be expected by his royal weirdness. Showing up in court in pajamas was a beautiful thing and something Jackson alleges he did out of “protest”.
Now we have two Jacksons known for their honesty discussing the case this past weekend and I must laugh for an hour.
For it seems that Michael Jackson, during an interview with Jesse Jackson, compared himself to Nelson Mandela , the South African black man jailed for protesting apartheid, and Jack Johnson, an American boxer who suffered ridicule for dating white women.
Heady stuff for an accused child molester and moon walker-comparing himself to Nelson Mandela.
Even more hilarious is Jesse Jackson, his coffers once so filled with the money of businesses he blackmailed to prevent allegations of racism from his hired liars, sitting stock serious and accepting this bullshit.
Wonder how much money Michael contributed to the Rainbow Coalition for this chance to treat us out here in la-la land as if we are fools of the highest order.
Also during the interview, in an outrageous attempt to impress us peons who could never hobnob with the likes of Michael’s celebrity friends, he complains of his issues with food and brags that Elizabeth Taylor would sometimes feed him by hand.
Which makes The Wise I think a whole lot less of Elizabeth Taylor. But that’s just me.
From the NYPOST:
Despite his opulent lifestyle, Jackson said yesterday he's not much of a foodie. He told the Rev. Jackson that not even the best efforts of mother Katherine Jackson or longtime friend Elizabeth Taylor could get him to eat much.
"To tell a little secret . . . I've never been a great eater or great admirer of food," said Jackson, adding that he's been suffering severe back pains but is eating well. "My mother has always had a hard time with me, all my life, pushing me to eat. Elizabeth Taylor used to feed me, hand feed me at times, because I do have a problem with eating."
Actual Accident Reports
These are purported to be actual samples of comments that individuals wrote down on their claim forms following their auto accidents:
* I misjudged a lady crossing the street.
* Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
* I collided with a stationary streetcar coming the opposite direction.
* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
* I heard a horn blow and was struck in the back...a lady was evidently trying to pass me.
* I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.
* My car was stolen and sent up a human cry, but it has not been recovered.
* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
* The truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
* If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself, the accident would not have happened.
* In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
* I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.
* I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
* I was on my way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
* My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.
* I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.
* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.
* The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.
* The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
* The telephone was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
* I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
~~~~~~~~~~~
CHINESE PROVERBS
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget
No comments:
Post a Comment