Martha Gets Out of Jail
As of this writing it's all Martha all the time across the media spectrum and I must ponder.
The woman gets out of jail for lying to federal investigators for which she was CONVICTED, not "accused" as the simpering media of this great day would phrase it. For Martha Stewart has been released from jail and it's like a media holiday.
The press waited outside of the jail gates for many hours. They wanted a glimpse, perchance a picture, of the jailbird princess for their editors. But Martha fooled them for Martha is no fool. She had a flack come out and distributed a paper, very official like as if data on this paper is very important. While the press hounds got busy grabbing the papers Martha and her entourage rolled through the gates with nary a pic and hardly a notice.
Snort, snort. Martha knows that a picture of her exiting jail, even a pic showing her face in the car window, would be plastered over every newspaper and tabloid on the planet. Get a pic with the name of the jail very plain in sight, ah, it's the sight bite The Old Media dreams of.
However, no publicity is bad publicity, or so goes the wise press flack axiom. Martha DID arrange for flattering pictures of her entering her private jet on the day of her jail release. Such picture much more palatable for public consumption than her prancing out of the jail house.
I've watched various media stories and it really got bad folks. Reporters were shouting out "what did you have for breakfast?" "How did you sleep?" "What's for lunch?"
The Wise I could only shake a fin and wonder how low pop culture can go beyond worshiping a jailbird lying woman exit from her confinement to inquire about her bowel movements.
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The Water Level on the Washing Machine
Last week's Miscellany had an most important link to Snopes.com as regards washing machine lint. Which got me to paying closer attention to mine own washing machine.
This is how I discovered that the level of the water that I can instruct the machine to use is much more variable that the "Low", "medium" and "Large" I thought was my limit.
For there were many times when the clothes being washed didn't quite fit the "large" load as I envisioned a large load. Yet the clothing load then upon was bigger than "medium". Large loads are sheets, blankets, that sort of thing. Medium loads are the most common but at times I consider the addition of my bathrobe tips the load to larger than medium but not quite "large".
I regard the water setting button and notice a line. It looks much like a crescendo line in music, starting from a small point and growing wider as the line lengthened. The music instruction intended by the crescendo is for the singer to start softly and gradually progress to a louder vocal.
Seems I only had to turn that knob anywhere on the crescendo line I wanted and the water level would adjust congruently. Thus I HAD a choice between medium and large by merely moving the knob beyond the words "medium" but stopping before the words "large".
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Winter Beauty in Mine Own Backyard
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You Know You've Been in Iraq Too Long When ...
Came across this missive written by a soldier stationed in Iraq. The Wise I thought it was intriguing because a)I smile that the soldiers are dealing with their lot with humor and b)the content provides more insight to life stationed in Iraq for us statesiders than the writer might have realized.
Forthwith:
You Know You've Been in Iraq Too Long When ...
You start to think "its not so bad here".
You say "this place sort of grows on you".
You say, "it feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 110.
You call your tent (trailer if you're lucky) "Home".
You get excited at the idea of "ICE".
Apaches excite you much more than Blackhawk's or Kiowa's.
Armaments:
You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something.
You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun or two or three.
You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down in the Dining Facility.
A Glock 9MM on a lady's hip is considered sexy.
Mortars and Rockets are "Okay" compared to Vehicle bombs.
You can measure distances based on explosion sounds.
When a "Red Alert" sounds and you're leaving a DFAC, you would rather go back in and have more coffee instead of seeking shelter in a bunker.
You know the difference in sound between "Incoming " and "Outgoing".
Entertainment:
You get excited at the prospect of seeing the latest gun camera videos.
$5.oo for a DVD is a little pricey....especially if there is only one movie.
If you are disappointed if you can't find a new movie a day after it is released in theatres stateside.
Sitting around with your coworkers talking about different ways to be killed is considered "Water Cooler Talk".
Convoys:
You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer.
Bullet holes in the cab of your tractor is no longer alarming.
Tractor selections consist of "Up Armored or Not" not Volvo or Mercedes Benz.
Convoys consist of as many extra Hummers and large caliber weapons as the Convoy Commander can find.
Driving on the sidewalk is normal.
Hit-and-Run fender benders are treated as mere warnings.
You get upset that you don't get "C-130" Frequent Flyer Miles.
Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacked and helmet.
Driving through the traffic circle of death has lost its thrill.
Fashion:
You think desert combat boots look great with shorts.
Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good.
You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns.
You've given up on shoe polish.
T-shirts at the PX are: M, L, XL, XXL & KBR.
Living Conditions:
You get a big smile when you see your pressed clothes at the KBR laundry.
You get a bigger smile knowing they didn't lose your laundry.
You get the biggest smile when you get back someone else's laundry and now you have more underwear than before.
You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation.
You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts.
You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end.
You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion.
The idea of a double wide trailer is only for the very rich and powerful.
Forgetting you military ID makes you feel naked...but pants are optional.
"Only one rocket has hit the camp" is excellent news.
Cardboard board boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture.
Communications:
Stars & Stripes seems to be a liberal newspaper.
It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call.
You call your coworkers as soon as new T-Shirt patterns arrive at the PX.
"Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations.
Your conversations are sprinkled with "Roger that" and "Good copy".
Hygiene:
You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill.
It's ok to brush your teeth with the brown water that comes out of the faucets.
KBR buzz cuts begin to look stylish (Even on girls).
Flies don't even hang around the truck drivers.
You have your own roll of toilet paper stashed in your tent/truck/back pack.
A shower with water that is neither to cold to hot and contains no mosquitoes is a priceless unattainable luxury.
Surroundings:
"Texas Barriers" are something other that a device to keep Texans out.
"Jersey Barriers" are something other that fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys.
You get excited with the presence of clouds in the sky.
The security guards are Ghurka or South African.
Dining:
You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day.
Powdered eggs taste OK.
You consider plastic ware the Place China.
You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils.
The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a hot dinner topic.
Lettuce for your salad is a luxury.
You have become to believe that ham should be grey in color.
No matter what animal you are eating, it will be flavored with curry.
Going to another mess hall is an adventure.
Putting Thousand Islands Dressing on you hamburger bun instead of mayo/mustard/catsup is normal.
You automatically pick up two plastic forks whenever beef is on the menu.
You accept the fact that fajitas do not require tortillas.
Sliced hot dogs on a pizza served in a KBR Defac is good eats.
If you can not decide if you are going leave a brownie and some milk during a mortar attack.
Condi's Fashion Critics
The cats have their claws out and it is a bit amusing.
I have never seen this woman when she was not perfectly attired. Her hair is always well- groomed, her jewelry, present and impeccable, her make-up perfect. She wears her skirts at a modest length and her clothes are carefully chosen, of good quality but not showy.
During her recent appearance in Europe the cats in New York and at the vaunted Washington Post simply could not resist. Check out the picture below, note all of your sensibilities offended by what Condi is wearing, than continue on to read what the cats had to say about it.
It's alleged that Condi looks like a military officer with all the buttons on her coat. And those black leather boots, horrors! While the word "dominitrix" wasn't said out loud, the inference of the meows was there.
The Wise I thinks she looks perfectly fine. Now we understand that Condi's outfit is not something Madeline Allbright would wear. But wasn't Madeline mistaken for a cleaning lady during one meeting with the Czechs?
Iran
The Secretary of State winced slightly at the word ‘Iran’. She’d hoped, during this one on one meeting that would determine American foreign policy way more than the bevy of congressional meetings and interviews with the pundits.
For it was a one on one meeting, Secretary of State with the President. They’d discussed Egypt, now the President wanted to discuss Iran.
“Sir…”
“Don’t call me sir,” the President scolded with amusement in his voice. “Not here. Here I need you to be honest, you need to be the President’s equal. I need your opinions forthright and calling me Sir takes away that equality.”
Condi smiled and shifted in her chair. She looked around the room with awe. It was hard to believe that she and the President were in a quiet and serene room, directly in the center of the White House, and yet were left unfettered by the calls and whistles of a busy world.
“Remember that cancer we talked about?” Condi asked.
“Yeah,” the President responded. With this response he sat forward and took a sip of coffee. His eyes remained focused on the Secretary of State even as he drank.
“Iran is riddled with the cancer,” Condi continued. “The terrorist groups are quasi-governments in Iran, Saudi and Syria. The leaders de facto ‘hired’ them to keep the public in line. They’ve infiltrated neighborhoods and towns all across the Middle East. Now quite a few countries that left the thugs go unfettered have serious problems. “
The President laughed. “The inmates have taken over the asylum?”
The Secretary smiled as well. “I’m not convinced they can get those groups under control. Their major power over the terrorist groups is the money. Assad, the Sauds, Katami, can begin to withhold money and this will help. Problem is, Hezbollah and Hamas have plenty of money socked away. These are some bad guys that have enjoyed their reign of power. They’re not going to walk away from it easily.”
The Secretary finished this assessment and she and the President both sat quietly in thought. Condi remembered the President’s joke about Egyptian President’s Mubarak’s reluctance to give up power. And her subsequent thought that even the two people in this room enjoy their power. Certainly it follows that the terror groups given free reign by the bogus “kings” and “princes” all around the Middle East don’t want to have their powerful rug yanked from under them.
The President shifted and scratched his head. “Getting those countries straight is like trying to remove a really bad cancer from a brain. A cancer with long and nasty tentacles. The problem with these terror groups is they are all a mixed bag. The Ba’athists are nothing but criminals recruited from the local jails. Some of their followers are truly religious zealots. And there are some members that just want the best for the people and belong to the only power group than can give it. They don’t have to listen to Assad in Syria. Or the Sauds. Or Katami in Iran. The mad mullahs sure aren’t going to listen to him. How we going to excise this cancer, Condi?”
The Secretary listened to the President quietly until that last question. He was musing out loud as Condi understood the terrorist cancer all too well. She knew the President often spoke his thoughts aloud to help organize them. As to his question about getting rid of the cancer…
Condi shrugged. It wasn’t a shrug of indifference. No one was more frustrated with the problem of entire regions of the world essentially hiring criminals to run the government than Condi. Her shrug was one of finality, a physical notification that the answer had not yet been arrived at.
The President rose, removed his cup from the table, walked across the room and poured himself a refill. This time the Secretary nodded affirmative to the President’s offer of a fresh cup. Normally these things were tended to by appointees or staff, but today the President and Secretary of State had to fend for themselves.
“Lebanon?” the President asked, now coffeed up and ready to move on.
(to be continued)
BTK Comments
A few comments on the BTK post or the updates. To one I must respond.
On his daughters web site click on "people in my life". There's a pic of her cousin, early 20's perhaps, who passed away in '96. I wonder how she died?
Commenter refers to the web site below.
Kerry Rader's web site.
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No Death Penalty for BTK-Point/Counterpoint
The commenter below refers to my
POST HERE in which I lament that Dennis Rader is not eligible for the death penalty because his crimes occurred before 1994. Before then Kansas did not have a death penalty. Read the comment as it is articulate, intelligent and makes a valid point. Below the comment I have a counterpoint.
It's exactly the opposite of the biggest crime. The fact that even a killer this heinous would be spared on this condition speaks to the integrity of our justice system.
I far prefer this situation to a justice system where anyone could be charged or sentenced according to laws or conditions that weren't on the books when the crime was committed. Especially considering that a lot of things are rapidly becoming crimes that once weren't (see: DMCA, PATRIOT Acts, the War on Drugs)
Also, if pure retribution is the only reason you think the guy should be put down, consider that that can't ever happen... he'd have to experience death at least 10 times to make it equal - it's not possible. Not only that, but if he was killed by the state, it would have to be in the most humane way possible - hardly deserving punishment for a torturer, or, I would think, satisfying revenge for any of the affected families.
He'll serve society's needs much better under lock and key than he would under 6 feet of dirt. Now that he's available for research and extensive interrogation, perhaps the next serial killer won't take 31 years to capture. Why throw away a resource like that once you've got it under control?
I recall a few years ago my home state of Merryland had a big debate on the death penalty. There was an attempt to abolish it which I don't think was successful. However, while the rhetoric roared there were endless marches at the jails with the prevailing sentiment being: abolish the death penalty, release the inmates from death row.
Point being, would the abolishment of the death penalty in Merryland, had it occurred, have meant that the death row inmates would NOT be put to death? Even though there crimes took place during a time when Merryland HAD a death penalty?
Because that's exactly what would have happened.
Let me state now that I am aware of the nuance in my question posed above but thought it was worth pointing out that such as crimes and applicable penalties are not always in congruence in terms of timelines. Actually, even with my rather blatant title of the "biggest crime of all", I agree with the commenter. If there was no death penalty when BTK did his crimes then he should not be subject to it. We are a nation of laws and the law should be respected.
I still think it's the biggest SHAME of all.
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Stem Cell Update
Back in October I wrote a missive about Bush and the lies then being spread about stem cell research. It was a tentative essay, written by The Wise I who is, admittedly, not at all an expert on stem cell research. But I had studied the subject somewhat and dipped my scribe toes in the biological waters of the subject.
Whew. I must have done okay even with my little knowledge, for the commenter has documented information on stem cell research extensively should yon reader visit his.web site
One little bit of info for you, or Grandmother: embryo stem cells are what some (the conservative ones) scientists want to study in order to understand how stem cells transition into the tissues of the body. Other scientists (the ghouls who dehumanize the unborn all the way back to embryo age) want to establish cell lines like organ banks, and such cell lines would have enormous profit potential, tying illnesses to established cell lines the patient would have to purchase in order to be treated and presumably cured.
MHGinTN
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