Playing a Joke on the Media
Karl Rove fiddled with the control knobs on the monitor. Finally President Bush came into focus. Rove fixed himself a coffee and joined the other special attendees to this meeting. Laura Bush sipped a cup of tea in the corner chair. Justice Renquist looked ever so fragile and his hands shook as he picked up his coffee cup. Dick Cheney swilled his coffee down as was his practice. He was only allowed one cup of coffee a day and he couldn’t wait to get the energizing brew into his stomach. Arlen Spector, bald due to his chemotherapy treatments, eschewed coffee this morning and instead drank bottled water and munched on a bagel.
“WE got a secure broadcast here?” the president asked from the monitor.
“All secure Mr. President,” Cheney responded then finished his daily allotment of coffee.
Karl decided that Spector’s bagel looked mighty fine and quickly slid over to the food table to get one for himself. A fly landed on the container of cream cheese. Rove shooed it off.
“I’d like to be there in person,” the President said. “But I’m here in the Midwest and what with Laura scheduled to go overseas tomorrow I wanted to have you all meet together to hear my plan.”
Actually it was Karl’s plan but of course only the President could authorize it.
“Laura, you know what you’re supposed to do?” the President addressed his wife.
Laura nodded affirmative. “Karl’s set it up so one of the reporters asks me about having a woman for nominee to the supreme court?” Laura asked but she knew the answer.
“Yes,” the President responded. The fly landed directly on the monitor in such a position that it was directly on the President’s nose. This time Cheney got up and shooed the fly away. “Answer truthfully,” the President continued. “Because surely you’d have no problem with a woman as nominee.”
Laura nodded affirmative again. The question was to be posed in such a manner that Laura’s answer could be interpreted in many fashions. Including a supposition that the President was seriously considering a female nominee to replace the female leaving the supreme court.
“The NY Times will jump on her answer and interpret it to mean that a female is in the finalists for the nomination,” Rove said, smirked, then took a bite of his bagel.
“How about you Arlen? You know what to do?”
Arlen was taking a drink of his bottled water when the President asked this question. Swallowing quickly, Spector responded. “I sure do, Mr. President. When you call me to the White House you want me to go through the front door. And you want my staff to call up a few media contacts and notify them that I’ve been summoned.”
“That’s right,” the President responded. “And when you get out of the meeting can you handle hinting that the nominee is a woman? Without mentioning the name Edith Clement?”
“Got it covered,” Spector responded. “I’m going to drop some info on the nominee that applies to almost any potential nominee. They’ll already be sniffing for a woman because of Laura’s response earlier. My hints will fit Clement perfectly. But also every other nominee as well.”
Rove snorted. He was going to enjoy this.
“How about you, Judge? You know what to do?”
Renquist sat his cup down carefully. “You want me to announce my plans NOT to retire in the near future. I’m to announce it next Friday? Although I don’t know how it’s going to help.”
“It’s going to help because it will narrow down the possibility of a supreme court nomination to only one. The media will think it’s a woman because of Arlen’s hints and Laura’s comments,” Rove broke in to explain to the good Judge. “They’ll be so sure that with a woman leaving and only ONE vacancy open that the choice will HAVE to be a woman. With all the speculation that you are leaving, Judge, the media might hone in on Clement AND our real nominee if they think there are two potential vacancies.”
Cheney shook his head in amusement. Rove noticed. Cheney had been lukewarm about this idea since its inception.
“Okay,” the President’s voice came from the monitor. “I don’t like having to play this game,” the President said, slowing down his words as he gave it all more thought. “But the media has to know that two can play their dirty little game. They’re all lying through their teeth over this Plame thing. It’s time that we teach them a lesson. Given a little help from all of us, they’ll be announcing Edith Clement as the nominee early in the day. They’ll be talking all about her record and some of the left wing will quickly come out against her. When you going to set them straight, Karl?”
Karl Rove leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. He was really going to enjoy the sight of all the lying media looking foolish as they fell for the bait.
“I figure I’ll set them on a right track around two, maybe three, pm. Give them a couple of hours to chatter about Clement, enough time to look foolish.”
“Okay. Thanks everybody and see you all soon.”
The monitor screen went blank. All attendees began gathering their parcels to leave. Cheney was still shaking his head in bemusement.
“Listen, Dick. This isn’t a get even,” Karl explained to Cheney as they left the room and walked down the hall. “It’s about letting these people know that they can be seriously led astray if the White House so desires. It’s also about…,” Rove’s voice faded off and both men stopped in the hallway to await the result of Rove’s thought. “It’s about,” Rove continued, “showing the public how the media can get it all so wrong. It’s about planting the notion that maybe not everything they say it right. Yeah, they pulled a dirty trick on me and I’m not happy about it. But Dick, the media doesn’t run things in this country no matter how much they think they do.”
Dick smiled at Rove and considered the entire plan. Why it really was sheer genius, Dick mentally concluded.
He slapped Rove on the back in a friendly manner and the two men went their separate ways.
As the food crew cleaned up the coffee and bagels in the meeting room, a fly flitted off from the disturbance of his fine feast and flew out of the room.
More "Fly on the Wall" HERE
Reconfiguring the Gardens
I call the stuff Creeping Juniper but that's just my off-the-cuff appellation.
It's the stuff one sees growing on a difficult hillside. It grows fine there, foliage that resembles the branches of a fir tree. Only it "creeps" along the ground.
You don't want to plant this stuff in a plot of land directly in front of your porch in a very flat area that tends to pool water and collect rotting leaves. Whatever this stuff is, it doesn't like a lot of water and definitely doesn't want anything sitting atop it to collect water and rot. Eventually the creeping juniper rots itself and even begins to smell!
Thus I began my attack on that fine oval of land carved out of the broad lawn and planted with this creeping juniper stuff and some "burning" bushes.
The burning bushes, compact affairs valued more for their fiery leafage in the fall than any flowers or berries, tended to "lean" out to get the sun the shadow of the house denied them. The previous owner of this home wasn't a gardener. He told me himself he had the entire place landscaped with plants specifically chosen for little bother. He even had a complete underground watering system installed here! I never use the thing and hate digging about and dealing with the buried hoses.
So here's a nice oval of land directly in front of the porch where I enjoy sitting and gazing out. A perfect place for a garden yet it was filled with stinky creeping juniper and burning bushes that didn't like it there.
Indeed I did.
I yanked all that stinky stuff out of the ground and planted the burning bushes in spots where they are much happier.
Burning bushes, by the way, tend to "sulk" when transplanted. Have faith. Eventually they get a backbone and one day a whole bunch of lime green leaves pop out all over. Lime green leaves that will turn a handsome red come the autumn.
Now I have a fine, but mostly empty, oval garden about fifteen feet long and maybe five feet at it's widest part. I had planted some annuals in a small spot where the creeping juniper had not crept. I also moved every hosta on the lot into this oval garden right at the base of the porch.
I don't especially like hosta as snails enjoy them quite well. But these were plants that the "landscapers" recommended for their low maintenance. They looked fine the first year. Then the creeping juniper began to take over and eventually the hostas were a mess. I figure they'll do fine in the deeper shade closer to the porch. I also found some bug stuff the previous owner had stored in the shed and spread it all around the hostas. Poison is something I like to avoid due to the birds and bugs but hey, these are desperate times.
Finally...ah, a fountain.
All my life I've wanted a garden fountain. But those large things stocked with koi and floating lilies were too large in terms of upkeep I'm willing to provide and hey, land to hold the thing. Besides, what good is a fountain clear across the yard? I desired a bubbling fountain right by the porch that my peaceful times upon, two lazy dogs on their monogrammed beds, can be accompanied by the sound of gurgling water.
God Bless America.
I got me a nice fountain by mail order for ninety bucks. Actually husband got for birthday but I gave him the catalogue so he'd know where to order.
The fountain was a snap to assemble and get running. And it's made out of resin. A material that I propose every item be made of as this stuff lasts forever, doesn't rust or fade and can sit out in all sorts of elements with no damage. CARS should be made of resin way I see it.
So the new garden stands mostly fallow and as expected I'm chasing weeds daily. It's mid- summer. Not a good time to plant perennials. Not to fear. The new plantings have been ordered from the catalogues.
Next year there will be coreopsis, black-eyed susans and forget-me-nots. Accented by pretty annuals until the porch garden with its nice fountain becomes a proper garden.
Which is as it should be.
More Gardens and Bird posts HERE
Kaitlyn Learns to Smile
It's not that baby girl doesn't smile and laugh.
Indeed most times Kaitlyn can be found with a smile on her face or laughter upon.
But I noticed during a recent visit that Kaitlyn didn't greet me with a smile.
It's not that she had a frown or grimace on her face. She was happy to see me I think. But she didn't smile. She just regarded me simply and did run to me at request for a big hug and kiss.
"Give Mom Mom a big smile," I exhorted baby girl. Who didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
"Show me some teeth," I said as prompt.
Kaitlyn immediately jutted out her lower jaw and showed me all of her bottom teeth.
She looked like the Alien in that scene where it pops out of someone's stomach.
Baby girl was, however, trying to please me. She knew I wanted something. She just didn't understand what.
All evening I would flash her a big smile when she looked at my face. Then I would ask her to smile. Kaitlyn showed me her teeth and after a bit it started to look like a normal smile. Close.
I don't think young human Kaitlyn Mae fully understood just why she should smile when there was no Sesame Street on the tube or favored swimming pool in her near future. Kaitlyn Mae can smile and laugh with the best but to smile for no reason?
Baby girl didn't get it.
It was fine, really. Kaitlyn Mae didn't HAVE to smile for me. But this grandmother wanted to teach granddaughter that a smile is always best when worn properly upon a face. Instead of a frown is what I'm saying here.
Later in the evening Kaitlyn was doing something or another when all of a sudden she ran up to my then prone self laying upon the couch. She flashed me the most gorgeous smile then ran off again to somewhere or another.
Kaitlyn knows how to smile and she's mastered the spontaneous smile for no earthly reason. At least as she sees it.
It was the most beautiful sight in Mom Mom's world that night.
More Kaitlyn Mae posts HERE
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