Raul Vergara Every smart search engine optimizer starts his or her career by looking at web pages with the eye of a search engine spider. Once the optimizer is able to do that, he or she is halfway to mastering the task. |
Natalie Davis Lots of folks, hoping to enjoy the benefits of higher-quality, higher-nutrition foods, make the choice to go organic. More than 60 percent of Americans - nearly twice the number in 2004 - purchased organic food products last year, and organic foods are among the fastest-growing segments of the food industry. |
Dave Nalle Inspired by a series of articles by Sadi Ranson-Polizotti, a healthy dose of ego and the realization that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, it occurred to me to share my thoughts about some of the fun and eclectic music on my iPod. |
TV Review-American Idol-Top Ten Guys-2nd Round of Eliminations
The top ten males in Fox's American Idol showed their stuff this past Wednesday, 3/1/06. I am a bit more intrigued with this year's crop of guys than the crop of girls.I write this missive the morning after the top ten guys' debut but before the second round of elimination. In the interest of fair and balanced, I will put my thoughts and predictions for eliminations up front. After the second elimination round I'll append the post then put it up for publication.
Meanwhile here's my initial post on the fellows of AI and another Blogcritic's take on this year's male contenders.
Even though I claim to be intrigued by the male choices this year for the 2006 American Idol, I thought the song selections for the top ten show to be a bit, well, boring. Now I suppose things will heat up as the contenders are further culled but based on the songs on the first night of March in this year of our Lord, 2006, I'd strongly urge a bit more originality.
Taylor Hicks, an oddly Jay Leno look-alike, sang "Easy". A nice song for a Karaoke party but hardly the stuff of superstar propulsion. Tonight I thought his voice had a kind of grating quality. A quality I didn't notice during Hicks' first performance so I must wonder if Taylor wasn't trying to impress us with a voice ability we didn't know he had. Whatever the case, the tone didn't suit that song but might go well with a more rollicking rocking song. Hicks did wear a nice suit that was pleasant and a change from torn jeans. The judges all thought Taylor picked the wrong song. After Taylor's performance I moved him out of my top three picks to be replaced by another who did a better job on this top ten guy night.
Elliott Yamin sang a Stevie Wonder song. If one artist has been predominantly featured so far in this competition, it is Stevie. Which is fine in that Stevie Wonder has some great songs but if I were competing in this contest I'd be thinking a little more outside the box. Now with Yamin I see a big problem with this fellow and it has nothing to do with his voice.
For Yamin does not have, eh, very good teeth.
Indeed and I accept that this factoid is not germane to how well he sings or performs. I'd argue that it does. For what part of the body gets more display than a singer's teeth when you think about it? And yes, there are plenty of established singers with not so fine teeth but did they achieve their stardom via a national contest in which every aspect of their looks and talent are explored, even by unknown bloggers such as myself? Beyond the teeth, Yamin still doesn't pop any buttons in my blogging brain.
I honed in on Ace Young in my first post and I still see him as winning this thing. Which is not to say he gave the greatest performance this night of the top ten because he did not. But coupled with this fellow's handsome face, casual but hip dress, and yes, his perfect teeth, Ace still seems to have it all in one handy guy package. I thought Ace showed some great vocals during his performance and Randy and Paula agreed. Simon did not.I have some thoughts on Simon. Sure he's the curmudgeon of the judicial trio and it's a part he seems destined to play. At this point in the competition, with many contenders left but culled down to a manageable few, I suspect Simon chooses who he thinks should win. Then he becomes especially critical of the contenders he'd like to see move to the top.
Yes Simon also becomes his nasty self for those performers he likely doesn't want to see win but there's a difference. With those he'd like to see booted off quickly Simon tends to give a terse brush-off. With one of the female contenders he remarked she's likely had her last chance to sing on this year's AI.
Yet Simon gave scathing, yes, but insightful and constructive criticism to other contenders. It's Simon's curmudgeon method of helping out those he'd like to win. I thought Simon adapted that position in his comment on Ace. My sense is that Simon considers Ace one of the top five at least and wants to urge him on.
Gedeon McKinney could go either way in this thing. After hearing two songs from him I don't see him quickly eliminated. Yet I'm not moved enough to include him, for now, in my own top three predictions.
Gedeon gave a great soulful performance this evening. At one point I turned my attention away from the television so that I could only hear the singing. Yes I could see myself listening to a CD of Gedeon singing a roster of sweet and slow songs.
Kevin Covais' picture should be under the word "Nerd" in the dictionary. Add to this mind shot, said nerd singing "Heard It Through the Grapevine". Come on.
If a nerdy guy like Covais were to win this thing he'd have to come out and belt some melodic Josh Grobin tunes not Motown classics like Grapevine.
I see Covais eliminated this coming elimination round.
I didn't like a sing thing about Jose "Sway" Penala's performance. Hated the song and thought the singer boring. I predict Jose will be adios in the next elimination round.
Ah, Will Makar. Who I compared to Bobby Brady but a commenter pointed out it's more like Peter Brady. Whatever Brady he resembles, Makar is going to make the top three of this thing and mostly because the bubblegum crowd is going to jam the phones voting for him. Makar sang Kenny Rogers' "Lady" this evening and I'm surprised at how deep and strong the voice is emanating from that angelic face.
The judges considered it a bad song choice and I suppose that's true. The teenybopper set, Makar's demographic, probably won't think much of the song. Given Makar's well-rounded voice I suspect he'd like to sing songs like "Lady". Given the likely purchasers of any Will Makar CD's, I think he'll have to give up any hope of a career singing lounge lizard tunes.
Next up, Bucky Covington sang a country and western tune. I thought the music overwhelmed his voice at first. He got stronger toward the end but nothing major stood out. This is a fellow I'd have to hear a few more times before forming any sort of opinion. For now I don't view him as a winner or a loser.
Then came Frank Sinatra. No wait! It was David Radford pretending to be Frank Sinatra. This guy, dressed snappily in a handsome suit, is a wonderful crooner with a good strong voice. I'd consider him a dark horse for now, but definitely not out of the picture.
Finally Chris Daughtry stepped up and I was very impressed. Chris sang "Hemorrhage" and wow, what a great voice. Another thing I didn't know about Chris is that he is a family man. Which might cause him problems with the American Idol crowd. They're looking for younger singers. In order to pull off a win, Chris is really going to have to stand out. His performance the night of the top ten males was just such a stand out. For now, I consider Chris one of the top three performers of the night.
Above my choice for the top three performers. I reserve the right to change my mind on a whim.
The Elimination Round 3/2/06
The elimination round on 3/2/06 was interesting in that Carrie Underwood, winner of the most recent American Idol, performed. She is very pretty and talented and her success has been rather amazing.
Beyond that, the bottom three for the females were Kinnik Sky, Heather Cox and Brenna Gethers. I predicted that both Brenna and Heather would be eliminated this round.
For the male eliminations, I was spot on about Jose "Sway" Penala. He was out of there. David Radford, this year's AI Frank Sinatra, was also eliminated. Kevin Covais, who sang a lackluster "Heard It Through the Grapevine" was among the three lowest but he somehow managed to make it through to the next contest.
More TV Reviews HERE
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A Community of Stalkers
When Donna Markham told me that Bart Edwardson was stalking her I dismissed her mortal fear. I did this mostly because I was well aware at the time that not only was Bart Edwardson stalking Donna, but the entire community of Deer Run was doing so as well. In fact, the entire group-stalk of Donna Markham was a paroxysm of confusion, misunderstandings and just plain human meanness. Bart Edwardson took full advantage of the culture of Deer Run to avail himself of the pleasure of terrorizing poor Donna Markham. Who, I hasten to add, had not one single friend in the entire community due to her rambunctious dog that jumped her high fence not once, but twice.
Such things are not condoned in Deer Run, especially when the offenses, canine or otherwise, are committed by newcomers to the community.
But I get ahead of myself because to understand how the mental torture of Drew and Donna Markham came to be one has to comprehend the baffling culture of the little community.
My name is Jane Williams and I’d lived in Deer Run for ten years at the time of Donna’s horror . I was 35 years old at the time, single and looking, while I held down a busy job as payroll supervisor for a local chicken processing plant. I’d inherited my Deer Run home at age 25 when my grandmother died and left it to me.
In the ten years I’d lived in Deer Run before the Markhams moved in I developed a keen understanding of the mentally of Deer Run and how things worked. Sure I was wary of how things went in the community but I’d long ago discovered that one never wanted to make the residents of Deer Run angry. Deer Run residents were the meanest people in America when they got angry though each individual on his or her own were probably nice enough. There was a prevalent mentality in the community that came to be by a varied list of circumstances. A mentality nurtured and cultivated by the tiny state of Delaware in that unique Delaware fashion that still unnerves me.
I’ll admit right here that I never quite felt “right” in Delaware. Before my grandmother left me her house I’d lived in nearby Maryland. Since the house I would own was in Delaware and since I needed a place to live and since I was able to get a nice paying job in one of Delaware’s ubiquitous chicken processing plants, I intelligently decided to move to where the house actually existed. I was single and free at the time though actively looking, the ticking of my biological clock roaring in my ears. Because my house was “grandfathered” into the Deer Run community I was spared the horrible initiation given to all new Deer Run residents but I witnessed the weird phenomena plenty through my years in the development.
Deer Run was specifically developed to be a small and limited community. The initial phase at Deer Run called for a maximum of 25 homes with 25 more to be built later in a plot of land called the Deer Run Annex. This at a time when Delaware didn’t know what it wanted to be, a small state luring permanent and peaceful citizens or a wild and crazy tourist mecca due to its proximity to the Atlantic Ocean. Indeed there were several resort communities only eight miles from Deer Run. Delaware loved having the older citizens flock to the south of the peaceful state, both for the wealth they brought and peace such settled persons bring to a state. Delaware also loved the tourist dollars that flowed in from the ocean resorts all along Coastal Highway. The result of all of this was a crazy quilt of sprawling and crammed residential communities of over 500 homes, luxurious condominiums along the ocean front and the riff and raff of resort areas that appeal to the tourists.
The developers of Deer Run promised potential buyers that THIS community would always remain small, the streets would never be crowded, the evening noise would ever be mute. So the residents of Deer Run developed what I call an “attitude” over the years. Deer Run was special in their minds. Deer Run was a place of peace and tranquillity, far from the maddening tourists. Any citizen lucky enough to live in Deer Run was expected to adhere steadfastly to a certain norm of behavior . Not that the community had any sort of formal civic organization, goodness no the fine citizens of Deer Run didn’t need such a thing. Through the years it was as if some sort of group-thought cloud formed over the development that required new residents to go through a horrible initiation phase for the privilege of living in Deer Run.
Over the years Deer Run became full of itself and there were moments in my busy life that I considered the community an icon of hypocrisy.
Take Bart Edwardson. From the very beginning this boor was eagerly accepted in Deer Run because he was living with his “wife”, a nice enough woman some twenty years his senior. The wife, really his roommate as they were never married, was believed to be related to the mighty Du Ponts, the premier Delaware family that always commanded respect. Anyone even remotely related to the Du Ponts was considered to be a fine resident of Deer Run. Thus normally unforgivable behavior was overlooked because these were Du Pont people after all. Bart Edwardson was given a free pass on his horrid behavior though had the man been an ordinary resident and not living with a rumored Du Pont he would have been run out of Deer Run on a rail.
The Markhams were a family with no famous relatives, not situated firmly within a Delaware bureaucracy or with any other claim to fame normally associated with Deer Run residents. They found their house, the little rancher directly across the street from mine, on the Internet. When they moved in the entire community was in a bit of a snit that such proletariat were allowed to purchase and live in a Deer Run home.
“They have a huge Belgian shepherd that Bart says barks all the time,” Edna Robards told me one day over our common back fence. I clucked sympathetically as expected. Dog owners were looked upon as particularly suspect in Deer Run. Dogs were tolerated but only so long as they were inside most of the time, didn’t bark or poop anywhere but on their owners’ property and were of the smallish breeds. My own two dogs were Jack Russell terriers. Since I worked long hours the dogs were well-behaved and kept inside most of the time except for bathroom jaunts outside in my severely fenced yard. In fact I had never heard the Markhams’ dog bark and in fact again, I had rarely even seen the dog. They did live across the street from me though their backyard wasn’t visible from my house. Still if the Markham dog was guilty of excessive barking I would think I would have noticed. Of course Bart Edwardson would be the first to raise complaints about the dog because he lived to the right of the Markhams. If that dog so much as sneezed at the wrong time Bart would be on the job. Bart was a man with absolutely nothing going for him save a dubious and sinful relationship with a Du Pont relative. Bart usually spear-headed any campaign to “teach” new Deer Run residents the things they needed to learn.
“You do know that big dog got loose, TWICE,” Edna went on. My radar switched to “on”. I knew it was coming. The Markhams needed some serious lessons in proper Deer Run behavior and a big Belgian shepherd running amok in the quiet streets was point number one. As usual, the “crime” committed by the newcomers was vastly overstated. I did know that the dog had somehow jumped the Markham fence because Edna told me all about it.
“The thing terrified John Maher’s wife, jumping on her as she got out of her car. And it peed all over Hal Taylor’s rose bushes. It took the Markhams almost twenty minutes to catch the beast.”
In fact I happened to be home the second time the Markham dog got loose. The dog seemed to me to be nothing more than a big puppy though I wasn’t sure of its age. Diane, as I understood was the dog’s name, came bounding over to my house and spent about a minute barking and growling at my two terriers. My dogs, for their part, were barking and growling right back, all safely behind the strong chain link. I heard Drew and Donna Markham pleading for the errant dog to return home but the big dog was having too much fun. Diane didn’t really bother my terriers but I made it out to be a hellish experience as my contribution to the big group complaint about the Markham dog. Left to my own opinions, I would have shrugged off the dog’s escape. Dogs get loose all the time, at least once in a while. The Markhams were new to the neighborhood and likely thought their high privacy fence would contain the dog. After two escapes I understood that the Markhams put the dog on a long lead in the back yard whenever she was outside. Also, Donna began taking the dog for a walk every day. While the dog was firmly tethered in a body harness and sturdy leash, Donna had no idea that one simply didn’t do such things in Deer Run. Imagine walking this vicious dog on public streets, or so went the group thought in Deer Run.
It was no big deal as I saw it, but I knew by Edna’s complaints that a big Deer Run initiation was brewing and the Markhams were about to be initiated.
“That Drew Markham has long hair and looks like an old woman,” Edna continued the gossip. Because in Deer Run if you violated the unwritten rules every aspect of your lifestyle, appearance and personality was subject to scrutiny. “And that Donna woman I hear is supposed to a writer. Can you imagine such a thing?”
I asked Edna why being a writer was such a bad thing as she intimated. “Well I’ve never read a book by any Donna Markham. But never mind this, it’s why the woman has so much time to go walking her dog all around when everyone else has a decent job to go to.”
I knew then that the gossip mongers were ablaze throughout Deer Run. The Markhams were squarely in the group target, what with the audacity to be a writer and to walk their dog upon the clean streets of the community. I nodded my head absently to Edna, an action she took to be agreement. Which I did want her to think because I really didn’t want to go there. The Markhams would live through it. They’d learn the “rules” of Deer Run, even if they had to learn them the hard way.
Over the next few weeks after Edna’s complaints, I paid more attention to the Markhams. I truly wanted to ascertain for myself if these people were as awful as the Deer Run residents made them out to be. Besides, as Edna informed me, the community had formed an unofficial “observation” group that monitored the Markham behavior at all times. “Hal Taylor follows her on the weekends. Bart walks behind her on the weekdays as he’s home them. Wanda Jameson volunteered to introduce herself and be nice to Donna, suggesting that maybe the dog was too dangerous to be walking all around like that.”
I couldn’t believe my ears yet I did believe my ears. Wanda Jameson should know. She’d moved into Deer Run three years after me and I was privy to the Deer Run beating she endured. First, she was a pretty widow woman and this didn’t sit well with established Deer Run residents. Second, she had a large German Shepherd that, as I heard it, bit John Maher’s son. Though Ralphie Maher told me that the dog didn’t really bite him, just snapped at him as he raked Wanda’s back yard. Wanda had hired Ralphie to mow her lawn and rake her leaves, just as I had. One day Ralphie was raking leaves and the dog evidently didn’t like the rake and snapped at Ralphie when he tried to pry it from his mouth. I couldn’t believe it when I heard Wanda actually had the dog put to sleep. It didn’t seem like an especially vicious dog to me, certainly it deserved to live. Even Ralphie defended it. The dog was euthanized six months after Wanda moved in. I imagined that Wanda succumbed to the pressure of the community and after all, the dog did "attack” Ralphie Maher. Now Wanda was elected as diplomat to greet Donna Markham on the street with soft suggestions that perhaps her dog wasn’t appropriate for this small and quiet community.
Edna spouted a long litany of who was in charge of watching Donna, the days and hours. I wondered if Donna Markham even had a clue.
Which I suspected she did in that the few times I saw her walking Diane she seemed to always have her cell phone held close to her ear. Though I didn’t know, maybe she took the dog walking time to catch up on phone calls for all I knew. I did notice how Donna would move her eyes and head all about, looking behind and to the side as she walked. She looked like a woman who knew she was being watched is what I’m saying here.
Sure enough I’d see Hal Taylor’s SUV ride by. Hal was on weekend duty and it was only on weekends that I saw Donna and the dog. From what I observed, Donna had really managed to train that big dog well. When cars would go by she would summon it to her side. The dog obediently trotted to Donna, who reigned in the leash and waited patiently for the car to pass. The dog seemed to walk perfectly by her side, never veering on to a lawn, heaven forbid. In fact I considered that maybe more folks in Deer Run should walk their dogs, including myself. It would be good for the dogs and the owners as well. Maybe if these paranoid people got out a bit more they might take to actually enjoying life instead of looking forward to the next Deer Run resident desperately needing a “lesson”.
It was six months after the Markhams moved in that Bart Edwardson decided to do his oft repeated ritual of getting drunk and walking the streets of Deer Run, screaming his displeasure in front of any resident’s house that had offended him since his last drunken jaunt. I’d been privy to several of Bart’s drunken tirades and it got old. Still, not one resident of Deer Run ever phoned the police or even approached him for this boorish behavior. I understood that the Markhams didn’t expect this behavior but I chanced to first hand witness just how terrified the couple were of Bart Edwardson specifically and living in Deer Run in general.
It was a bit after midnight. I was pajama clad and rushing to my mailbox to place a letter that I feared I would forget in the morn. Bart’s voice echoed clearly in the quiet night.
I rolled my eyes and rushed to get back inside my house and away from Bart’s screaming. From the corner of my eye I could see the Markhams trying to get Diane back on the front porch. The couple had evidently taken the dog outside to do its business before bedtime. Diane was on a leash and until Bart began his tirade was quiet and obedient. The dog too heard Bart and the dog didn’t think much of a strange man walking the dark streets and screaming. That dog had more sense than every human being in Deer Run.
“You need to shut that mother-effing dog up,” Bart screamed, now standing in front of the Markham house and cursing the barking dog. Of course the dog was barking for God’s sake. There was a strange man standing in front of her house and screaming. The dog didn’t know what the man was screaming but like any smart dog she warned the intruder to stay away. The dog’s barking only revved Bart up to max. The man was now drunk and full of righteousness. By now all of the dogs up and down the street were barking from within their homes. The Markhams were unfortunate enough to have been outside when Bart started his drunken journey.
“That mother-effing dog jumps that fence again and she’ll get a bullet right between her eyes,” Bart was screaming. Diane was by now positively in a frenzy and both Markhams were pulling on her leash, desperately trying to reign her in.
“Get her inside, Drew, please,” I heard Donna’s sobbing plea. “I’m trying Donna, but it’s not easy,” I heard Drew respond. Right then I felt nothing but pity for this couple. I saw Drew run across the porch and got a broom which he used to beat Diane on her behind. In an attempt, I surmised, to calm the dog down. These poor people were actually beating their dog for doing nothing less than any dog would do given a strange man standing so threateningly in front of its house. I couldn’t stand it another minute.
“Bart, goddamn it, get back in your house or I’m going to call the cops.”
Everyone involved was so surprised by my shout that there was a second or two of complete silence. The Markhams managed to pull the temporarily stunned Diane inside. Bart turned to me, a look of drunken hatred frozen on his face. How dare I threaten him like that, his face said.
A moment later the ersatz Mrs. Edwardson came outside and pulled her crazy boyfriend inside, something she should have done many times in the past, the batty old biddy. No respectable Du Pont would take up housekeeping with the likes of Bart Edwardson and it was time this jerk and his roommate get a bit of what they dish out. That night I knew I would be put on permanent shit list status in Deer Run but honestly, it felt very good. I decided I would befriend Donna Markham the next day, which would throw the collective Deer Run group-think into a frenzy.
What Donna Markham told me made my blood run cold.
“I know the other people in the neighborhood follow me around,” Donna told me after I invited her inside for a cup of coffee. She gratefully accepted and I knew that I was the first person in Deer Run to say a kind word to her. “I see the same cars passing me by, a Chevy on Sunday, an SUV on Saturday. I was also onto that Wendy woman who soulfully shared her experience about having her dog put to sleep. The suggestion that I should consider the same wasn’t lost on me. Drew and I are very aware that we are not liked here but we’re determined we’re going to pursue our constitutional right to happiness in spite.”
Donna Markham was a keen and intelligent woman. She was two years older than me, had no children, one dog and five cats. I mentally chastised myself for allowing myself to get sucked in to the Deer Run craziness, spearheaded by loser Bart Edwardson. Who, it turned out, was a freelance stalker in his own right.
“We’ve tried calling the police,” Donna said. This right after she described the many times she discovered Bart Edwardson staring at her from behind the bushes in front of her own bedroom window. Or staring through their sliding glass door from a vantage point in his own yard. One time Donna looked in her rear view mirror and saw Bart right behind her, following her even by car! This behavior was blatantly illegal and well beyond the harmless observations of a community concerned about a possibly dangerous dog. Bart was ringleader of the campaign against the Markhams because the creep evidently had an agenda of his own. Of course I asked Donna why she didn’t notify the police about Bart’s stalking. Watching her in her own bedroom in front of her own window for God’s sake. I wondered what the vaunted residents of Deer Run would think of their precious Du Pont resident and her house mate if they knew this. All the while the whole gang was aiding and abetting the creep.
“It’s why I carry my cell phone with me everywhere. A couple of times I called the police and they did show up. But Bart was nowhere around and there was simply no proof. You’d think the cell phone would help but it seems like Bart knows when I’m on the phone. Once, when I caught him outside of my living room peeking in, I grabbed my regular phone since it was handy. Before I could hit 911 he was gone. Which I thought was odd because I can chat on my cell phone in front of him and he never takes off. Until I spot him and call the cops, that is. Then he manages to disappear before I can call anybody.”
I poured Donna another cup of coffee and pondered her story of torment. The woman and her husband were quiet and respectable citizens. Sure, her dog had misbehaved right after they moved in but since then Donna had trained that dog to become a model canine citizen. From what I observed, the Markhams kept their yard and house neat and tidy. They never had loud parties or company that parked their cars on the lawns of others. The Markhams were, I concluded, exactly the sort of residents any community would love to have. Any community except Deer Run, I mused. Deer Run residents had built such a high opinion of themselves that scum like Bart Edwardson were revered while the very nice Markhams were going through a special hell for no good reason on earth.
“You know what I think,” I said in a sort of thinking out loud manner to Donna. “I think Bart has one of those radio things that can monitor cell phone calls. It’s why he knows when you phone the police and is able to get away so quick. That time you picked up your regular phone he had no idea who you were calling so he wisely got away quick. I know you carry that cell phone thinking it would keep him away but it’s no problem to him at all. Because he can hear who you call and what you say at all times!”
Donna and I sat and looked at each other, stunned by it all. A plan, a grand and dandy plan, began to grow in my mind. Poor Donna was such a sweet woman that she protested my involvement. “I know how mean these people can be,” she said, a truth that hit me with a hard thud. Yes, they can be mean, I thought, and why on earth I finally asked after ten years of tolerating the meanness.
With the help of the simple-minded residents of Deer Run and a radio that could intercept cellular phone calls, Bart Edwardson could stalk and torment poor Donna Markham, all in plain sight and all blessed by the righteousness of supposedly good Delaware citizens.
Of course they didn’t know about Bart’s forays over to Donna’s windows but Bart would lie his way out of it if they did. Who to believe, this fine upstanding house mate of a Du Pont relative or these poor white trash with the unruly and vicious dog?
Donna and I concocted a plan that would put Bart Edwardson behind bars and would teach the good residents of Deer Run a much needed lesson.
So Bart Edwards could monitor Donna’s cell phone. So all Donna needed to catch the man dead in the act was a different sort of cell phone. Because of his radio, Bart showed no fear when Donna used the cell phone. Armed with a new cell phone and sure of Bart’s cocky confidence, Donna went breezily about her business, awaiting the next time she caught Bart Edwardson on her property and looking inside her window. It was a warm June night when I saw the email flash across my computer monitor.
Heart racing, I opened the email and when I saw the picture that filled the screen I smiled a wide one. Quietly I picked up my own phone and called the police. I asked them to please come quickly but to be quiet. I explained that there was a man in the bushes of the house across the street from me and I figured he was up to no good. Of course I couldn’t see Bart Edwardson from my house but I sure could see the picture Donna emailed me from her cell phone of the man’s leering face. How she got such a good shot of the man amazed me but there it was, Bart’s big ugly mug peering through Donna’s evergreen at the side of her house. The woman had to be cool, I’ll give her that. She picked up her cell phone and while pretending to make a call and seemingly unaware of Bart’s leering face, she snapped a picture of him with her cell phone camera. She quickly sent the picture across the street to my computer. Bart’s monitoring device probably just buzzed at the sound of computer bytes zooming through the cellular waves. Leaving the man confident that he was undetected and not vulnerable to the stealthy police who spotted him immediately upon their quiet arrival.
The next day Donna and I published Deer Run’s very first community newsletter. We’d been busy little beavers that past week, buying picture cell phones, planning the capture and doing much investigation of many of Deer Run’s residents. The headline, of course, was about Bart Edwardson’s capture, in the act, of stalking and terrorizing a Deer Run resident. We even put the picture of Bart peering through that evergreen in full color and center of the front page.
There were a few more interesting articles. One was an expose of Deer Run’s alleged limited growth commandment. Seems that Hal Taylor, Deer Run resident and former county councilman, had been working steadily behind the scenes with his old cronies at the county council. Deer Run didn’t have just one “annex” as it turned out. There were several such annexes to the Deer Run community, all quietly zoned as residential and all scheduled for development in the years to come. The same land all owned by Hal Taylor who stood to make a bundle by turning Deer Run into another crammed Delaware residential community. Hal and his wife were about to retire to Florida the following year, far from the anger of the Deer Run residents who he betrayed.
As for Bart Edwardson’s room mate of such valued Du Pont lineage, it turns out that Susan Straus had a long criminal record and any contact she ever had with Du Pont would have been exposure to one of their household cleaning chemicals.
The public records revealed, after small research, that John Maher, county tax assessor, paid only a third of the property taxes forked up by the other residents of Deer Run.
Donna with her writing ability and I with my computer expertise cranked out quite the handsome newsletter, I must say. I hated to do it and I didn’t name names, but I had to obliquely reference my neighbor Edna’s ongoing affair with none other than Bart Edwardson. Oh, and the widow Wanda Jameson. Bart spent time with her as well. It was a blind reference to be sure, but I knew the clues to give that any resident of Deer Run would figure out who the sinners were. Bart Edwardson had to be addicted to Viagara such a busy man he was.
It’s now been over two years since Bart Edwardson got put in jail and the first copy of the “Deer Run Daily” hit the streets. There was quite a bit of confusion afterwards. Folks sure were mad at John Maher and his cheap property taxes. There was darn near a lynching of Hal Taylor who, ahem, retired a bit early to Florida. The city council removed their approval of all of the Deer Run “annexes” so the community should continue to exist with a limited growth that makes living here so desirable.
Many of the residents have taken to walking their dogs. Deer Run is a perfect little community for walking a dog. Now all sorts of dogs greet each other with wagging tails and happy sniffs of the behind. Every once in a while a dog gets loose and everyone joins in the effort to capture the pup and return it to its rightful owners.
In fact, Deer Run has formed a proper community organization that meets once a month in the Markham house. Donna Markham is the President and her first act of business was to write a plain and simple list of Deer Run rules for a happier co-existence.
She left out the bit about no stalking but I know that the residents of Deer Run know this without hesitation. Deer Run is now one of the most pleasant communities in all of America. Delaware even.
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