TV-"Skating With Celebrities"-Da Winnahs!; Pic of Week-Self-Mutilators, Humpty Dumpty; Fishgiggles

Blogcritics Feature Stories of the Week

  • Immigration's Evil Side

    Mark Schannon

    This is a true story. The person trapped in the Kafkaesque world of U.S. Immigration is still in a holding facility so I have to be careful about specifics because I firmly believe the Immigration people will take it out on him should they be able to identify him.

  • An Odyssey Through Best Buy

    by Brian Sorrell
    Gadgets? How about God-gets?

    That should be the word, because that's what they are. Newfangled electronic devices are newfangled Gods - in agnostic hands. From the iPod to the Blackberry to the sleekest of the slickest cells, we no longer wear our faiths on our sleeves: we clip them to our belts in polytheistic, plastic holsters.

  • Islam Is As Much A Political Entity As A Religious One

    by Chip Spear
    Why do we continue to insist we are engaged in a "War on Terror"? Terror is a psychological state, it is not a political entity, it is not group or a movement. Terrorism is a means, an offensive tool of war. It is a strategy designed to further political goals of a group or state. We are not waging a war on terror. That would be like saying that The New England Patriots are waging a war on the forward pass, or the Yankees are waging war on fast balls.

  • March's Featured Artist of the Month – NOFX
    by Ryan Seay

    Last month, I had the pleasure of repeatedly working with some superb artists who, across the past two decades, have really impacted their respective genre, music in general, and even some non-music-related causes ranging from politics to pets. No independent band has received a greater welcome or greater success than they have and it will take a band of megalithic proportions to topple them from that achievement. This month's featured artists, here at Blogcritics, are NOFX.

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    Fox’s ”Skating With Celebrities”-2006 Winners!
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    It was coy of the Fox network to come up with competition for ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” and in such a clever fashion. Who would have thunk…celebrities on ice skates.

    Of course the celebrated chosen for the series has some connection to ice skating, be it an amateur hockey player or mere ice skating lessons as a child. Nonetheless the celebrities weren’t all that experienced on the ice and they likely worked very hard. Ice skating is much harder than dancing I’d suggest.

    Below a list of my reviews on this series.
    Review 1
    Review 2
    Review 3
    Review 4
    Review 5

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    The most interesting tidbit about the final show is Kristy Swanson introducing her fiancĂ©e to the audience. For there’s been rumors abounding about Swanson’s relationship with her professional ice-skating partner, Lloyd Eisler. It could have been just normal winning protocol.

    Or perhaps Kristy wanted to lay rest to those rumors.

    Below, a summary of both winners’ resumes
    Born in Mission Viejo, CA, Kristy Swanson began getting acting work in commercials at 9 and had over 30 commercials on her resume by the time she was 13. She continued working on commercials before making her feature film debut in the John Hughes' films “Ferris Bueller's Day Off” and “Pretty in Pink.”

    Swanson originated the role of “Buffy” in the feature “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Her additional feature film credits include "Flowers in the Attic" with Academy Award-winning actress Louise Fletcher, "Hot Shots!" with Charlie Sheen, "The Program" with James Caan, "The Phantom" opposite Billy Zane, "8 Heads in a Duffle Bag" starring Joe Pesci and David Spade and “Higher Learning” directed by John Singleton.

    Her television credits include the cable films “Black Hole Terror” and “Forbidden Secrets” and the made-for-television movies “Red Water” opposite Lou Diamond Phillips, “Zebra Lounge” opposite Stephen Baldwin, “Supreme Sanction” starring Michael Madsen and “Bad to the Bone.”

    More recently, Swanson has been featured in several films including the comedy “Dude, Where’s My Car?” and the blockbuster comedy “Big Daddy” opposite Adam Sandler.

    You can write Kristy and send her all your emails here:

    As 1993 World Champions, Isabelle Brasseur and Lloyd Eisler ended an eight-year Soviet reign in pairs skating. It was a stunning victory for North America that vindicated their decision to retain their amateur standing after the 1992 Olympics. The 1992 and 1994 Olympic bronze medalists are one of the most exciting pairs teams of all time. World champions, five-time world medalists and five-time Canadian champions, they boast spectacular lifts and twists that separate them from other pairs teams. They are one of the only teams in the world who perform a triple lateral twist, one of skating's most spectacular lifts. At full speed, Eisler lifts Brasseur over his head and spins her three times in a horizontal position before he catches her. Audiencesa are captivated as he throws her nearly 12 feet above the ice.

    Brasseur and Eisler began skating together in 1987. They placed a respectable 9th in the 1988 Calgary Olympics. They have since become a dominant force in pairs skating, winning the most prestigious international competitions. After another medal-winning performance at the 1994 Winter Olympics, they competed in the 1994 World Championships despite Brasseur’s painful broken rib. Through sheer determination and bravery, they won a silver medal.

    Eisler and Brasseur are national spokespersons for the Children's Wish Foundation of Canada. They are actively involved in fund-raising efforts for Children's Wish and are co-producers of an annual skating show, "Dreams on Ice," benefiting this foundation. Along with Lou-Anne Brosseau, they are also directors of their production company, B.B.E. Productions, which produces “Dreams on Ice” and involves itself in other skating events, arena openings and related productions.

    They have toured in “Champions on Ice” throughout the U.S. and continue to tour in “Stars on Ice” in Canada.

    Eisler is from Seaforth, Ontario, and began skating at age 7. He is a veteran of the sport, having participated in four Olympiads. In August 2002, Eisler married Marcia O’Brien in the village of Bath, Ontario. When he is not partnered with Brasseur on the ice, he skates for competitive hockey teams and also enjoys golf. Eisler spends his spare time riding his motorcycles and listening to country music. He is a member of the Montreal Big Brothers Association and has a 13-year-old "little brother" named Erik. Lloyd and Marcia welcomed their son Ethan in 2004.

    You can write Lloyd and send him your emails here:

    Congratulations Lloyd and Kristy!

    More TV Reviews HERE

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    The Self Mutilators
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    Humpty Dumpty

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    More pics of week HERE
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    Hiding by the Telephone

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello." "Is your daddy home?" he asked.

    "Yes," whispered the small voice.

    "May I talk with him?"

    The child whispered, "No."
    Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"


    "May I talk with her?"

    Again the small voice whispered, "No."

    Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

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    "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

    "No, he's busy", whispered the child.

    "Busy doing what?"

    "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

    Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

    "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed. In a whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

    Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

    Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:



    More Fish Giggles HERE

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