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An American Legend Has Passed On
The Pillsbury Doughboy died early today of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities are certain to turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Tootsie Roll, Baby Ruth and Captain Crunch.
The grave site has already been piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima has agreed to deliver the eulogy. She will lovingly describe Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus, they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral will be held tomorrow at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
What Happened in Reno?
If ever a True Crime called for a book it has to be the crimes of this past week. A woman, Charla Mack, was shot to death. A Reno Family Court Judge, Judge Chuck Weller, was shot as he stood by his office window.
How these events came down is a bit bizarre.
Darren Mack owns a Jewelry/Pawn shop in Reno. He was married to Charla and they had three children. Charla and Darren were divorced and as of this writing, it seems that Mr. Mack had some issues with Judge Weller. Whatever happened in that domestic court case, Darren evidently had a deep grudge against the Judge.
On the morning of the murder, Darren set up an elaborate plan of retaliation against both his ex-wife and the judge who we must assume Darren felt had wronged him. Authorities are mum on the domestic end of the case.
On the morning of the Judge’s shooting, Darren Mack phoned a friend to come and pick up his daughter and take her to her grandmother's house. The friend came and evidently brought a dog with him. Or else the dog belonged to the Macks, this is still unclear. Darren asked his friend to wait inside while he talked to his ex-wife in the garage. The idea was for Darren's friend to be his alibi in that, well, Darren's ex-wife had to be alive because the friend waited while Darren talked to his ex-wife. At least this is how it is speculated that Darren intended it to go down.
The dog, wherever it came from or whoever it belonged to, ruined Darren's plan. For the dog somehow got blood all over its chest and muzzle and ran back into the house covered with this blood with Darren following behind, a bloody towel wrapped around his hand, blood dripping down his arm. The friend was shocked, obviously, grabbed Darren's daughter and got out of there.
Later the judge was reported shot and the friend put two and two together. Perhaps the friend knew of the Macks' history with Judge Weller. The friend went back over to the Mack resident and tried to contact Charla Mack. After several tries, eventually Charla was found dead in the garage.
At some point the police got the whole story from Darren's friend. Speculation is that Darren didn't expect the dog to get all bloody; that his ex-wife was already dead but he pretended to his friend that she was alive so his friend would be his alibi. When the dog ran in the house covered with blood Darren wrapped his hand in a towel, smeared blood on his arm, to pretend that the dog had bit him.
Darren Mack planned this crime to the point of placing various vehicles all around the city to confuse the cops. Darren made arrangements to leave the country it is speculated. Whether Darren Mack actually left the country via private plane or assumed name on a commercial flight is unclear.
It is believed that Darren Mack was a bitter man with a plan. The more complicated the plan the more things can go wrong. The dog issue comes to mind.
As of this writing, Darren Mack is expected to surrender.
June 14: A relative of murder suspect Darren Mack says he wants to help the alleged wife killer surrender.
Smart Criminal Alert
This one baffles me. The blurb makes this scam, by a "Miami businessman", sound like a walk in the park. That bit about "Internet phone companies" makes me think of Vonage or some such.
Ah, the criminal mind. Good brains wasted on evil. How much better to apply that brain power to legitimate enterprise.
From the AP:
NEWARK, N.J. -- Imagine if you were able to break into your phone company, take control of some of the operation and charge people to place phone calls through the pilfered part of the system.
That's basically what a Miami businessman is accused of doing.
The FBI claims Edwin Andres Pena got help from a professional hacker in breaking into the networks of Internet phone providers. Then, the agency claims, he charged customers more than $1 million to connect hundreds of thousands of free calls.
Authorities say at least 15 Internet phone companies were victimized, with one suffering as much as $300,000 in lost fees.
SUV Runs Over & Kills Sunbather
That title is tongue-in-cheek. Rush Limbaugh likes to point out that stories about SUV's tend to blame the vehicle rather than the human operating it. In fact, the article, by ABC news indicates that police officers ran over a sunbather with their patrolling SUV.
OXNARD, Calif. Jun 13, 2006 (AP)- Two police officers patrolling the beach in an SUV on Monday ran over and killed a sunbather, authorities said.
The officers did not immediately realize they ran over the woman and continued driving, police Cmdr. Tom Chronister said in a statement.
Even more tragic, the sunbather was killed and the police didn't even know it!
The victim was in town for her son's wedding. Her head was crushed by the beach patrol car. What an unforeseeable tragedy.
What Is a "Hate Crime" Assault?
There's no excuse for four "youths" to attack a singer so viciously simply because he was gay. At least that is the allegations against these fine young men so assuming it's true, that it wasn't a robbery or other motive, we must assume these bigots simply wanted to get mean.
Now I understand the concept of hate crime and the one described here, from YAHOO.com, certainly is a hate crime in that the motive was, well, hate.
Attacking someone and kicking them in the head is a crime, period. And whatever penalties meted out for such crimes should be given, after a trial and conviction, naturally.
Will these perpetrators get a STIFFER penalty because they engaged in a "hate" crime? Is that at all reasonable? Does it make any sense to give harsher penalties for hate crimes? When a man rapes a woman, is it a "hate crime". Did Ted Bundy hate all those women he killed? Sadly, many people murder their spouses as wedded bliss descends into, well, hate. Are these sorts of murders "hate crimes"?
For sure those four thugs should have the book thrown at them. But to start trying to ascertain motives for murders and apply different penalties for different motives is treading where we do not want to go.
"Hate Crime" is yet another ridiculous law our legislators enacted when we weren't looking. I'll not defend these hoodlums for their stupid attack and will celebrate their incarceration. I'll never buy that their crime is any more heinous than if they'd beat the man for his money.
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Four youths were charged with a hate crime assault on a gay singer who was attacked as he left a Manhattan gay bar, police said on Sunday.
Kevin Aviance, 38, who scored No. 1 dance hits on the Billboard charts with "Da Da Din" and more recently "Alive" in 2003, was attacked late Saturday and kicked by four youths who called him "faggot."
What Is Mary Winkler's Motive?
On March 22, 2006, Matthew Winkler was found shot to death in his home. His wife and children were missing causing Foxnews to issue 22,000 "Fox News Alerts". His wife was found the next day with the couple's three daughters. Mary Winkler confessed to killing her husband.
Now we learn, no surprise here, that Mary Winkler was indicted for the murder of her husband.
Wives shooting husband are hardly anything new. But there's something about this case that has true crime sleuths intrigued. For whispered, or sometimes stated aloud, is the notion that Matthew Winkler was somehow deserving of that clean shot into the back of his head.
Was he an abuser? Did he mistreat his wife and/or daughters in such a manner that drove his wife to rid herself of a monster in a way that would assure he would not ever return?
So far, Winkler's defense attorneys have been mum, something unusual for defense attorneys. The speculation is just that, speculation, though it's been uttered by Nancy Grace to Greta Van Sustern. Not that it much matters. From observations about Mary Winkler's lifestyle and financial form, she could have gotten away from her spouse tormentor. Assuming there's any truth to the speculation. The Winkler daughters are important witnesses to this crime.
At some point Mary Winkler will go on trial. Then the truth will come out. It will be interesting if the abuse defense gets Mary Winkler a pass.
The wife of a minister shot to death in his church's parsonage was indicted Monday on a charge of premeditated murder.
The indictment for first-degree murder was issued by a McNairy County grand jury against Mary Winkler, 32.
Charges Dropped Against a 13-Year Old for Killing a Snake
Let me state right now that I do not believe a word of this story and how it came down. Let me also state that even if the story as told by the adolescent accused of the crime was true, the penalty for the crime is ridiculous and totally not enforceable.
Supposedly Richard Cornwell found a garden snake that had been run over by a car and was in serious condition. Richard took the injured snake to his father and asked what to do. His father told Richard to bang the snake against the basketball pole in the driveway to end its misery then leave it hanging "for the birds to eat". The logic was that kids might get into the garbage if the snake were merely tossed there.
First, birds do not eat dead snakes, where on earth did the father get this information? I suppose turkey vultures might eat a dead snake but I can't envision turkey vultures swooping down on a dead animal hanging from a basketball pole in a human driveway. Second, why not wrap the dead animal in a plastic bag and bury it deep within the trash? Do kids in that neighborhood regularly go through the trash looking for dead animals? And I simply cannot imagine a father instructing his son to put an animal out of its misery by banging its head against something. Sure, it's possible, but unlikely. One could just step on the head of a garden snake and kill it. That "banging" instruction seems like, well, overkill.
Sounds to me like the kid killed the snake and proudly hung the trophy from his basketball pole. When someone in the neighborhood reported it, Richard was charged with cruelty to animals. At that time, as I surmise, his father came up with a quick and dirty story that makes no sense. I also surmise the authorities just gave up the pursuit as it was the sort of thing that could not be proved and wasn't worth the resources.
The penalty for this crime includes fines and a prohibition against owning a domestic animal for fifteen years. It is classified as a felony.
For sure cruelty to animals is an awful thing and some punishment is worthy. But really now, our police don't have enough to do but to keep checking to make sure someone does not have a pet? As if pets cannot be hidden or moved for a day. This law was probably enacted for nuts that insist on keeping many animals in their homes, a situation prime for neglect and/or the torment of domestic animals living in such unnatural quarters. That's the sort of animal-cruelty crime that would be followed up by authorities. For a kid tormenting a garden snake, it simply would not work at all and isn't even remotely germane.
I suppose Richard Cornwell's father thinks he's one clever dude, coming up with this story to save his son. More than likely the police were onto the lie but applied common sense and let it go.
If this world is lucky, adolescent Richard Cornwell learned his lesson and will not walk that way again.
DUNDEE - Dundee Middle-schooler Richard Cornwell is off the hook now in the case of the injured garden snake.
But for more than a month, he faced a Class C felony charge carrying a potential fine of $5,000. And his family had to hire a criminal defense attorney to get the 13-year-old off.
Karl Rove Not Indicted
There will be no "Fitzmas" for the liberals. Presidential advisor Karl Rove is guilty of nothing and frankly, neither is Scooter Libby. Libby WAS indicted for allegedly lying and obstructing justice.
Neither of these men committed any crime, in that there was NO outing of a CIA agent. Valerie Plame was NOT a top-secret agent with the CIA and that was the reason special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald was appointed. Appointed, heh, to investigate a crime that isn't a crime.
Scooter will get off too. Joseph Wilson lied. With the help of the Lamestream media desperately trying to re-create a glorious Watergate of its hay day, a special prosecutor was appointed in the frenzy of an election year.
Millions spent on this bogus "investigation". How many Katrina victims could have their homes rebuilt with this wasted money?
From National Review.com:
Rove's fate has been the subject of intense discussion among critics of the Bush administration. Perhaps foremost among them is former ambassador Joseph Wilson, whose wife, Valerie Plame Wilson, was the CIA employee at the center of the affair. In August 2003, Wilson vowed to pursue Rove vigorously, saying, "At the end of the day it's of keen interest to me to see whether or not we can get Karl Rove frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs."
More True Crime Updates HERE