We've got pics and details on the great GNC task as well as the Soap Opera and "webcast".
Also, a review of Foxnews' "Half Hour News Hour". It's hip, cool, hilarious and has been picked up for another few weeks.
Check out just why all of America needs to watch this show.
Pic of the Day
Quote of the DayBehold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. |
| Web Site Worth the Visit COWBOYS NEW STADIUM What I don't know about football stadiums would fill a library. But I came across this link to a site featuring all that is new and neat about the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium. Why I didn't even know that Dallas HAD a new stadium! CHECK IT OUT HERE |
| TIDBITS HOUSEHOLD HINTS »»» Expiration Dates Beer Unopened: 4 months. Brown sugar Indefinite shelf life, stored in a moistureproof container in a cool, dry place. Chocolate (Hershey bar) 1 year from production date Coffee, canned ground Unopened: 2 years Opened: 1 month refrigerated Coffee, gourmet Beans: 3 weeks in paper bag, longer in vacuum-seal bag (After this time, color Or flavor may be affected, but product is still generally safe to consume.) Ground: 1 week in sealed container Coffee, instant Unopened: Up to 2 years Opened: Up to 1 month Diet soda (and soft drinks in plastic bottles) Unopened: 3 months from "best by" date. Opened: Doesn't spoil, but taste is affected. Dried pasta 12 months Frozen dinners Unopened: 12 to 18 months Frozen vegetables Unopened: 18 to 24 months Opened: 1 month Honey Indefinite shelf life Juice, bottled (apple or cranberry) Unopened: 8 months from production date Opened: 7 to 10 days Ketchup Unopened: 1 year (After this time, color or flavor may be affected, but product is Still generally safe to consume.) Opened or used: 4 to 6 months (After this time, color or flavor may be affected, But product is still generally safe to consume.) Maple syrup, real or imitation 1 year Maraschino cherries Unopened: 3 to 4 years Opened: 2 weeks at room temperature; 6 months refrigerated Marshmallows Unopened: 40 weeks Opened: 3 months Mayonnaise Unopened: Indefinitely Opened: 2 to 3 months from "purchase by" date (After this time, color or flavor May be affected, but product is still generally safe to consume.) Mustard 2 years (After this time, color or flavor may be affected, but product is still Generally safe to consume.) Olives, jarred (green with pimento) Unopened: 3 years Opened: 3 months Olive oil 2 years from manufacture date (After this time, color or flavor may be affected, But product is still generally safe to consume.) Peanuts Unopened: 1 to 2 years unless frozen or refrigerated Opened: 1 to 2 weeks in airtight container Peanut butter, natural 9 months Peanut butter, processed (Jif) Unopened: 2 years Opened: 6 months; refrigerate after 3 months Pickles Unopened: 18 months Opened: No conclusive data. Discard if slippery or excessively soft. Protein bars (PowerBars) Unopened: 10 to 12 months. Check "best by" date on the package. Rice, white 2 years from date on box or date of purchase Salad dressing, bottled Unopened: 12 months after "best by" date Opened: 9 months refrigerated |
We're reviewing TWO "Apprentice LA" tasks but before I've got a rant about Donald Trump.
I saw Donald's "review" of President Bush and I know that Trump couldn't possibly have meant a word he said. For Trump declared that Bush Dubya is the worst president this country has ever had. Donald Trump knows better than this and I know he knows better than this. But since Trump has been hanging out in California of late it seems that in order for him to keep his happening status in Hollywood's "in-crowd" that Donald feels the need to get on TV and pontificate on politics and lie about it at that.
For no matter what one thinks of George Dubya, I will never believe that a free-thinking entrepreneur such as Donald Trump could ever have considered James Carter as a decent president on any level. Trump buys, builds and sells property. There is simply no way Trump thrived during that era when mortgage interest rates rose to the high teens and lines to get gas were miles long. I know better and again, I know that Trump knows better.
You're lying Donald, although I forgive. Although, heh, I'll NOT be watching "The Apprentice" ever again after this year.
Selling Vitamins at Half Time
So the Arrow and Kinetic teams were charged with putting on a half-time show featuring GNC vitamins. Arrow comes up with a boxing ring idea, the concept being that the vitamins will "knock out" all the physical ills that attack the body. A character dressed as "fatigue" will thus enter the ring and the GNC character will knock it down cold.
Kinetic too used humans in costumes only they had the GNC hero going through an obstacle course supposed to represent life. The "obstacles" represent dangers such as clogged arteries. The human traveling this life course is helped handily by GNC vitamins to overcome the obstacles.
Kinetic's half-time show was deemed the better of the two by the GNC folks. For the reward, the Kinetic team was treated to an afternoon of golf. Trump quite enjoyed an afternoon watching the ladies practice their swings.
At the boardroom confrontation, Surya was on the hot seat as Arrow's project manager for the task. Surya tried to deflect blame to James, who Surya accused of burning the candle at both ends by very obviously inserting his doubts and concerns during any task then upon. Surya asserts that this demoralizes the team and that James only does this to have an excuse should the team lose.
I agreed with Surya that James does do this but in the end, Surya was fired.
A Soap Opera to Sell Soft Scrub
I've never heard of the soap opera "Passions" but a few of the would-be Apprentices did. So when the task came down with the requirement of creating an actual episode of Passions in which a commercial for Soft Scrub Foaming Cleaner is artfully inserted, several team members were not daunted. Kristine served as project manager for Kinetic while James did the same for Arrow. This task episode aired on 3/18/07 and was week 9 out of 14.
The soap opera commercial would be shown as something called a "webisode" on Soft Soap's web site. A webisode is an episode shown on the World Wide Web.
The Kinetic team came up with the idea of having an innocent wife visit her neighbor only to discover her husband's been there and left messy signs of same all over the slutty neighbor's house. In one instance the errent husband left a message written with lipstick on the neighbor's bathroom mirror about love and lust. The housewife saw the writing signed by her husband even as the slutty neighbor searched desperately for Soft Scrub Foaming Cleanser to erase the evidence.
Contender Muna stated right from the start that she would be far more comfortable in FRONT of the camera which was actually a demand that she be the star of the little ersatz soap opera episode.
The Arrow team created a short webisode that involved a young man who wanted to propose to his girlfriend. This of course required a spotlessly clean house which relied on Soft Scrub to clean up to the would-be fiance's admiration. The two team members playing the loving couple were Tim and Nicole, an alleged couple of sorts on this year's Apprentice.
The Soft Scrub poobahs deemed the Arrow team's story of the proposal in the clean house to have been the best of the two. Kinetic's webisode with Muna as star was confusing and didn't have enough product exposure, or so went the critiques. Muna is a mousy thing and has an accent. As I watched Kinetic's little fiction scene unfold I didn't understand a thing that was going on.
The prize for Arrow, besides not going back to the tents, was a trip on a Blue Star private jet to meet the "Governator"-Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Who is, of course and as The Donald reminds us, a "friend" of Donald Trump.
Kinetic met in the board room where Kristine defended herself and blamed the team's failure on Muna, who left her, the project manager, with no choice but to do it Muna's way or lose too much time arguing with the determined Muna.
MUNA WAS FIRED.
The "Half Hour News Hour"
Let us begin by inserting right here, very artfully, a clip from Foxnews' new satire show, "The Half Hour News Hour".
The first few shows of this satirical comedy were aired and Rush Limbaugh informed the world on his radio show that the series has been picked up for an additional 15 weeks or so. The show's web site is HERE.
Here's a little gossipy tidbit. I'm not sure to what extent radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is involved in the production of this show but he was featured prominently in the show's introduction. Rush was depicted as the American President while Ann Coulter, the diva of conservative shocking sound bytes, was featured as his VP. Limbaugh is not one to go promoting other conservative pundits and/or radio talk show hosts and why should he? He is the master and king of the radio air waves and he has nothing to gain by remarking on, say, a Laura Ingrahm or other competitors to his crown. But when "The Half Hour News Hour" was playing on Fox news, Rush showed no reluctance to talk about Ann, who was embroiled in a controversy involving John Edwards and the word "faggot" at the time. The thought passed through my head that Rush was giving Coulter lots of mention exactly because of the premiere of this show.
Folks, of course I love this show. I ADORE this show. It is the funniest thing made on this planet for normal people to watch and know that THEY are not crazy, that the world is full of out-of-control liberals who are changing the reality as I think it ought to be. Which doesn't mean I am right in this conception but hey, liberals get a chance to laugh at the satires of "Saturday Night Live" and now I can laugh and the loony left because folks, EVERYONE can be poked fun at. Liberals make themselves particularly vulnerable to mockery.
An superb example of satirical mockery had to be the section titled "Hollywood Helping Humanity" featured on the night I'm reviewing here.
Heh.
Right there I can't stop laughing. We've got a marvelous oxymoron in just three words and the comedy of the sketch had me rolling on the floor.
When, ladies and gems, has Hollywood EVER helped humanity? Everything Hollywood ever does is to help Hollywood PERIOD and don't be fooled if sometimes in the process of helping Hollywood a hungry kid in a backward country gets a home-cooked meal. It's ALWAYS about Hollywood; any benefit to mankind is accidental.
The thing to remember is that Hollywood WANTS you to think that they are helping humanity. It's skits like the one featured on the night I tuned in, with a voluptuous Hollywood starlet going on and on about second hand smoke, that illustrate to the astute and intelligent the truth about our celebrities and their less than stellar intentions. This starlet with the big boobs went on and on about second-hand smoke, citing that millions of people will die from this even as she displays her bustline for this public service message. I've never known a single person to die from second-hand smoke yet the liberals state the lie over and over until idiots really believe it.
Another skit on this show was a parody of Dateline's capture of online predators. The difference was that on the 1/2 hour news hour Fox was going after "underage sex predators". They managed to catch a kid about five years old or so, caught him guilty as sin.
Last we had the interview of the "playground facilitator" and folks, it was perfect. Seems this fellow is on a mission to stop such playground self-esteem killers as dodge ball and the game of tag. The character of the facilitator was purposefully a bit of a wuss who turns out to have been the subject of childhood mockery his own self. Thus the goal of eliminating playground trauma to the minds of our children whilst taking away the chance to actual BUILD character and self-esteem. It's how the liberal mind works.
I really think there may a problem with this show going on for two reasons. The first is a simple thing to fix. The show needs to be moved out from under the wing of Foxnews and over to Fox's regular channel. It's not seen by near enough people as part of Foxnews' lineup. "Saturday Night Live" didn't go to the heights it did as part of a cable news network.
Second, I am just not sure that the people being satirized and mocked will even realize it. And even if they do, I'm not sure that the mentally lackluster amongst us will "get" it.
I am perfectly serious here. The humor on this show does require at least a modicum of brains. Hollywood is known for a lot of things but mental power is not one of them.
So despite Rush Limbaugh's enthusiasm, I have my concerns about the show's eventual success. The time and channel change is easy enough to fix. Making the dumb smarter is a much bigger task.
More TV Reviews HERE
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