Which some would say makes it all the sweeter.
The contenders were good but the Korean, the Creole or the Healthy could beat the cooking of the 2009 Next Food Network Star finalists and their charming on screen presence.
My choice for the winner. All with pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.
It could have been the stimulus that didn't stimulate, the health care package Americans hate; bowing to the Saudi King…well President Obama has given us enough actions that will likely bring down his presidency as his ratings tank like our 401-k's.
But folks, the Gates incident illustrates more than anything where this very naive man is coming from. It will be the incident that caused his downfall.
Plus some detailed information on the Health "reform" that will have you killing Grandma; some Clinton kitchen utensils; and some thoughts on just why you have to be crazy to ask for a birth certificate?
Does this make every MVA in America conspiracy theorists?
Even though Father Beachem was his twin brother, the protagonist in this fiction short story helped arrange his twin's surprise birthday party which turned out to be a bigger surprise to the caterer and priest's brother than to the party's man of honor.
Some 2009 summer reality shows plow on, others start up, some are brand new, some old and stale.
Reviews here of 2009 "Hell's Kitchen", HGTV's 2009" Design Star"; "America's Got Talent" finally over the auditions and a new one that fat people across the fruited plains will adore:"More to Love". Or maybe not.
All with pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.
2009 Bachelorette Jillian has chosen her man.
We have a review of the Men Telling All, The Final Rose and After the Final Rose.
With some analysis of the series, some smirks, a few laughs and, of course, pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.
Kaitlyn Mae visits in July 2009 and her and Mom-Mom-ME-go to Delaware State Fair, the Cape May Zoo and watch a live musical- Oliver.
Plenty of pics and video. Watch the Zoo video cause we’ve got a winner here.
Pic of the Day
Professor Gates-Obama’s Big Freudian Slip
The bad guy of this week is Mr. Gates, the Harvard professor who got President Obama in a heap of trouble but I’m not blaming Mr. Gates. For Barack Hussein Obama showed his true colors and I don’t believe for a second it was part of any PR plan.
For the Gates story will cause more damage to the presidency of Obama than even the health care/cash for clunkers/alleged stimulus jokes.
First, heh, let’s look a little closer at Professor Gates, shall we?
Henry Louis Gates Jr controls a tax-exempt, non-profit charity, Inkwell Foundation, Inc, that managed to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars in direct support in one year, yet only gave out $27,500 in grants, the bulk of which went to Gates' employees and Harvard colleagues.
Well damn you don’t expect the state run media to do their jobs, do you? This interesting information about Henry Gates of the alleged race discrimination by cop was found by an investigating Blogger.
Also, more investigation into the matter reveals that Mr. Gates is Rev. Wright, light, it would seem. See the video of Mr. Gates in action.
President Obama had no business whatsoever commenting on what was a local matter. The most unbelievable fact about this past week’s scuffle was the president admitted, ADMITTED, that he didn’t have all the facts. Yet he said the Cambridge cops acted “stupidly”.
Folks, I don’t especially like Obama and I’d be quite happy to see him not elected again. But after this incident I suspect he’ll be limping to finish up even one term.
For this is NOT the job of the President of the United States and all across the fruited plains, liberals and conservatives alike resent this intrusion into local affairs by the country’s president.
Not only did the President of the United States cause unfair grief for an honest cop just doing his job, he caused the woman who phoned in the incident undeserved grief even DEATH THREATS.
Americans don’t want the president involved in this and Obama showed his lack of skill for the job with his handling of the matter. First, why was his opinion about this matter even asked during a press conference about his awful health care proposal? It was so obviously a planted question and one has to wonder how damn dumb someone has to be to even go getting involved in this thing on the national stage.
The state controlled media tells me Obama is so smart but by me he’s dumber than a rock and this incident illustrates more than any how isolated his world must be.
As for Professor Gates, heh. This guy should have kept a low profile but no, nowadays black folks got to find a racist behind every tree and it’s getting real old. Professor Gates looks like he made out pretty well in this horrifically racist country what with grants that he essentially keeps, living in a house owned and maintained by Harvard and his personal contact with the President of the United States.
As for the stupid so-called “beer summit”, well I argue just more illustration of dumb, dumb, dumb. It was nothing but a silly photo op, it accomplished nothing and Americans knew it was a desperate Hollywood move.
Americans are not as stupid as Obama and we know what went down. An inexperienced man living an isolated and protected life thought all of American would bow to his wisdom and solemn pronouncement on matters that he, BY HIS OWN ADMISSION, didn’t have the facts. Obama showed us, in real time, just how damn naïve and out of touch he is.
We may not march our rage in the streets like the silly Muslims. But we get it and come time to answer the poll-taker or pull the lever in the voting booth, we’ll show this little man what we think of him.
If I had to say what was the singular sinking moment of the Barack Obama administration I’d say it was his stupid decision to even mention a word about this Gates’ incident that will be noted in future history books as his Waterloo.
Several conservative organizations will be marching on D.C. on 9/12/09. The significance of that date is that on 9/12/01, the day after September 11 and the attack on our country, this country was united as one, shocked sober by the hatred of America by sons of camel across the globe.
I have been asked to help promote this event and so a here’s link for more information.
The So-Called “Birthers”
It would seem that President Obama has never produced a genuine birth certificate produced by any state in this country, no he did not, no he did not.
What he DID provide was some sort of thing from the state of Hawaii that verifies that a birth certificate is on file in the records department of Hawaii, some place, somewhere.
This is NOT the same thing as a birth certificate and indeed it would not allow any one of us to either get a driver’s license in any state in the country or allow us to draw social security which we’d paid into all our lives.
And yet to run for the most important position in the country, indeed even the world, we shouldn’t ask that at the least this person provide what we all must provide that we may drive?
I will never understand why the left, like spitting Chris Matthews, thinks that questioning this anomaly somehow makes us crazies or loony tunes.
Now here’s what I suspect…just for the record. I suspect that Barack Hussein Obama is indeed a United States citizen, born in Hawaii just like that strange document he produced suggests.
I do think there is something on Obama’s REAL birth certificate that he does not want the world to see. I will speculate with the caveat that I do nought but speculate…I think that either the race on Obama’s real birth certificate is listed as “white” as opposed to “Negro”. OR the father as listed on the birth certificate is either missing entirely or is indicated as someone else other than the gadabout Kenyan fellow who never did much of anything with his life.
I don’t know why Obama wouldn’t want it known that his race is listed as “white” except he did get a lot of political oomph with his race but bear in mind that Obama’s mother was very white. I don’t think it would be unusual at all for her to put down his race as white, or whoever fills in such things as the woman giving birth was, again, very white.
As for the biological father, well this is way-out speculation I must affirm.
Point being that Obama evidently does not want his real birth certificate revealed to the world as, heh, why the hell doesn’t he just produce the thing? But I am not of a mind to think it’s because he was really born in Kenya. Although, heh, I’ll spread rumors as much as the next guy, below is a pic of a Kenyan birth certificate currently making the rounds on the Internet. I am quite sure it is fake but hey, Americans, gotta love ‘em.
However I don’t think it’s too much to ask that a contender for President be required to produce a certificate that verifies that he or she has met the requirements of the constitution as do we all have to produce the same document just so we can drive for Christ’s sake.
The spitting Chris Matthews of the world seem to think that makes us all weirdos wearing aluminum foil hats.
Last week some Republican or another introduced a bill that would require that very thing. For while the constitution requires that any President of the United States should be an individual BORN in America, the constitution does not stipulate just what is required to prove this fact.
That Republican fellow, pulled from the tanning booth with head hairs perfectly in place, went on Chris Matthews’ Hardball and Matthews like to chew the man to pieces.
What’s with Republicans that they can’t stick to their principles? This pubbie was too busy trying to appease Chris Matthews than he was defending the concept that a damn contender for President of the United States should be required to produce what all us peons out here in la-la land are required to produce for yea many things each and every damn day.
Further, the law as proposed by this pub would NOT affect Obama. So if Obama is really not a citizen by birth it wouldn’t matter. Nor should it. If it wasn’t required for Obama, or all the presidents before him, why not correct that little issue by making it a requirement in the future?
It doesn’t make us kooks, or nuts, or anything of the sort. It’s something we live with out here in la-la land and someday I swear, hand to God, there will be a pubbie with some gonads who understands the sort of life us peons live every day.
Might even be a woman, insert wink here.
Below an interesting pic of Obama from when he was in Indonesia.
Yeah he cheated on her. But that’s why God made divorce court.
Woman Pours Boiling Water on Husband’s Groin For Cheating on Her.
Citizens Read the Bill
Just a few things in that health care abomination that Obama wants to subject us all to.
Unlike the congress critters actually PAID to read this stuff, citizens across the fruited plains are on the job. Check it out.
Pg 22 of the HC Bill MANDATES the Govt will audit the books of ALL EMPLOYERS that self insure!!
Pg 30 Sec 123 of HC bill - THERE WILL BE A GOVT COMMITTEE that decides what treatments/benefits you get
Pg 29 lines 4-16 in the HC bill - YOUR HEALTHCARE IS RATIONED!!!
Pg 42 of HC Bill - The Health Choices Commissioner will choose your benefits for you. You have no choice!
Pg 50 Section 152 in HC bill - HC will be provided to ALL NON US citizens, illegal or otherwise
Pg 58HC Bill - Govt will have real-time access to individual’s finances & a National ID Health care card will be issued!
Pg 59 HC Bill lines 21-24 Govt will have direct access to your banks accts for electronic funds transfer.
Pg 65 Sec 164 is a payoff subsidized plan for retirees and their families in Unions & community orgs (ACORN).
Pg 72 Lines 8-14 Govt is creating an HC Exchange to bring priv HC plans under Govt control.
Pg 84 Sec 203 HC bill - Govt mandates ALL benefit packages for private Health Care plans in the Exchange
Pg 85 Line 7 HC Bill - Specs for of Benefit Levels for Plans = The Govt will ration your Healthcare!
Pg 91 Lines 4-7 HC Bill - Govt mandates linguistic appropriate services. Example - Translation for illegal aliens.
Pg 95 HC Bill Lines 8-18 The Govt will use groups i.e., ACORN & Americorps to sign up individuals for Govt HC plan
Pg 85 Line 7 HC Bill - Specs of Ben Levels 4 Plans. #AARP members - Your Health Care WILL be rationed
Pg 102 Lines 12-18 HC Bill - Medicaid Eligible Individual will be automat.enrolled in Medicaid. No choice.
Pg 124 lines 24-25 HC No company can sue Govt on price fixing. No “judicial review” against Govt Monopoly.
Pg 126 Lines 22-25 Employers MUST pay for HC for part time employees AND their families.
Pg 127 Lines 1-16 HC Bill - Doctors/ #AMA - The Govt will tell YOU what you can make.
Pg 145 Line 15-17 An Employer MUST auto enroll employees into public opt plan. NO CHOICE
Pg 149 Lines 16-24 ANY Emplyr w payroll 400k & above who does not prov. pub opt. pays 8% tax on all payroll
Pg 150 Lines 9-13 Biz w payroll btw 251k & 400k who doesnt provide public opt pays 2-6% tax on all payroll
Pg 167 Lines 18-23 ANY individual who doesnt have acceptable HC according to Govt will be taxed 2.5% of income.
Pg 170 Lines 1-3 Any NONRESIDENT Alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay).
Pg 195 Officers & employees of HC Admin (GOVT) will have access to ALL Americans financial and personal records.
Pg 203 Line 14-15 HC - “The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax” Yes, it says that.
Pg 239 Line 14-24 HC Bill Govt will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors, low income, poor affected.
Pg 241 Line 6-8 HC Bill - Doctors, doesnt matter what specialty you have, you’ll all be paid the same.
Pg 253 Line 10-18 Govt sets value of Dr’s time, prof judg, etc. Literally value of humans.
Pg 265 Sec 1131Govt mandates & controls productivity for private HC industries.
Pg 268 Sec 1141 Fed Govt regulates rental & purchase of power driven wheelchairs.
Pg 272 SEC. 1145. Treatment of certain cancer hospitals – Cancer patients - welcome to rationing!
Page 280 Sec 1151 The Govt will penalize hospitals for what Govt deems preventable readmissions. (Incentives for hospital to not treat and release.)
Pg 298 Lines 9-11 Drs, treat a patient during initial admission that results in a readmission-Govt will penalize you.
Pg 317 L 13-20 PROHIBITION on ownership/investment. Govt tells Drs. what/how much they can own.
Pg 317-318 lines 21-25,1-3 PROHIBITION on expansion- Govt is mandating hospitals cannot expand.
pg 321 2-13 Hospitals have opportunity to apply for exception BUT community input required. Can you say ACORN?!!
Pg335 L 16-25 Pg 336-339 - Govt mandates established of outcome based measures. HC the way they want. Rationing.
Pg 341 Lines 3-9 Govt has authority to disqualify Medicare Advantage Plans (Part B), HMOs, etc. Forcing people into Govt plan.
Pg 379 Sec 1191 Govt creates more bureaucracy - Telehealth Advisory Committee. HC by phone/Internet?
Pg 425 Lines 4-12 Govt mandates Advance [Death] Care Planning Consult. Think Senior Citizens end of life.
Pg 425 Lines 17-19 Govt will instruct & consult regarding living wills, durable powers of atty. Mandatory!
Pg 425 Lines 22-25, 426 Lines 1-3 Gov’t provides approved list of end of life resources, guiding you in death. Pg 354 Sec 1177 - Govt will RESTRICT enrollment of Special needs people!
Pg 427 Lines 15-24 Govt mandates program for orders for end of life. The Gov’t has a say in how your life ends.
Pg 429 Lines 1-9 An “adv. care planning consult” will be used frequently as patients health deteriorates.
Pg 429 Lines 10-12 “adv. care consultation” may incl an ORDER for end of life plans. AN ORDER from GOV
Pg 429 Lines 13-25 - The govt will specify which Doctors can write an end of life order.
PG 430 Lines 11-15 The Govt will decide what level of treatment you will have at end of life
Pg 469 - Community Based Home Medical Services=Non profit orgs. Hello, ACORN Medical Svcs here!!?
Pg 472 Lines 14-17 PAYMENT TO COMMUNITY-BASED ORG. 1 monthly payment to a community-based org. Like ACORN?
Pg 489 Sec 1308 The Govt will cover Marriage & Family therapy. They will insert Government into your marriage.
Pg 494-498 Govt will cover Mental Health Svcs including defining, creating, rationing those svcs
PG 502 Sec 1181 Center for Comparative Effectiveness Research Established. – Hello Big Brother – Literally.
Pg 503 Lines 13-19 Gov’t will build registries and data networks from YOUR electronic med records.
Pg 503 lines 21-25 Gov’t may secure data directly from any depart or agency of the US including your data.
Pg 504 Lines 6-10 The “Center” will collect data both published & unpublished (that means public & your private info)
PG 506 Lines 19-21 The Center will recommend policies that would allow for public access of data.
PG 518 Lines 21-25 The Commission will have input from HC consumer reps – Can you say unions & ACORN?
PG 524 18-22 Comparative Effectiveness Research Trust Fund set up. More taxes for ALL.
PG 621 Lines 20-25 Gov’t will define what Quality means in HC. Since when does Gov’t know about quality?
Pg 622 Lines 2-9 To pay for the Quality Standards, Govt will transfer $$ from to other Govt Trust Funds. More Taxes.
PG 624 “Quality” measures shall be designed to assess outcomes & functional status of patients.
PG 624 “Quality” measures shall be designed to profile you including race, age, gender, place of residence, etc
Pg 628 Sec 1443 Gov’t will give “Multi-Stake Holders” Pre-Rule Making input into Selection of “Quality” Measures.
Pg 630 9-24/631 1-9 Those Multi-stake holder groups incl. Unions & groups like ACORN deciding HC quality.
Pg 632 Lines 14-25 The Gov’t may implement any “Quality measure” of HC Services as they see fit.
PG 633 14-25/ 634 1-9 The Secretary may issue non-endorsed “Quality Measures” for Physician Services & Dialysis Services.
Pg 635 to 653 Physicians Payments Sunshine Provision – Gov’t wants to shine sunlight on Docs but not Govt.
Pg 654-659 Public Reporting on Health Care-Associated Infections – Looks okay.
PG 660-671 Doctors in Residency – Gov’t will tell you where your residency will be, thus where you’ll live.
Pg 676-686 Gov’t will regulate hospitals in EVERY aspect of residency programs, incl. teaching hospitals.
Pg 686-700 Increased Funding to Fight Waste, Fraud, and Abuse. You mean like the Gov’t with an $18 million website?
PGs 701-704 Sec 1619 If your part of HC plan isn’t in Gov’t HC Exchange but you qualify for Fed aid, no payment.
PG 705-709 SEC. 1128 If Secr gets complaints (ACORN) on HC provider or supplier, Gov’t can do background check.
PG 711 Lines 8-14 The Secretary has broad powers to deny HC providers/suppliers admittance into HC Exchange. Your doctor could be thrown out of business.
Pg 719-720 Sec 1637 ANY Doctor who orders durable med equip or home med services MUST be enrolled in Medicare.
PG 722 Sec 1639 Gov’t MANDATES Doctors must have face to face with patient to certify patient for Home Health Svcs.
PG 724 23-25 PG 725 1-5 The same Gov’t certifications will apply to Medicaid & CHIP (your kids)
PG 724 Lines 16-22 Gov’t reserves rt to apply face to face certification for patient to ANY other HC service.
Pg 735 lines 16-25 For law enforce. proposes the Secretary-HHS will give Atty General access to ALL data.
PG 740-757 Gov’t sets guidelines for subsidizing the uninsured (Thats your tax dollars people)
Pg 757-762 Fed gov’t will shift burden of payments to Disproportionate Share Hospitals (DSH) to States. (Taxes)
Pg 763 1-8 No DS/EA hospitals will be paid unless they provide services without regard to national origin
Pg 765 Sec 1711 Gov’t will require Preventative Services including vaccines. (Choice?)
Pg 768 Sec 1713 Gov’t – Nurse Home Visitation Svcs (Hello union paybacks)
Pg 769 11-14 Nurse Home Visit Svcs include-economic self-sufficiency, employ adv, school-readiness.
Pg 769 3-5 Nurse Home Visit Services - “increasing birth intervals between pregnancies.” Govt ABORTIONS anyone
Pg 770 SEC 1714 Fed Gov’t mandates eligibility for State Family Planning Services. Abortion & State Sovereign.
Pg 789-797 Gov’t will set, mandate drug prices, controlling which drugs brought to market. Bye innovation.
Pgs 797-800 SEC. 1744 PAYMENTS for graduate medical education. The government will now control Drs’ education.
PG 801 Sec 1751 The Govt will decide which Health care conditions will be paid. Say RATION!
Pg 810 SEC. 1759. Billing Agents, clearinghouses, etc req. to register. Gov’t takes over private payment sys.
Pg 820-824 Sec 1801 Govt will identify individ. ineligible for subsidies. Will access all personal financial information.
Pg 824-829 SEC. 1802. Govt Sets up Comparative Effectiveness Research Trust Fund. Another tax black hole.
PG 829-833 Gov’t will impose a fee on ALL private health ins. plans incl. self insured to pay for Trust Fund!
PG 835 11-13 fees imposed by Gov’t for Trust Fund shall be treated as if they were taxes.
Pg 838-840 Gov’t will design & implement Home Visitation Program for families with young kids & families expect kids.
PG 844-845 This Home Visitation Prog. includes Gov’t coming into your house & telling you how to parent!!!
Pg 859 Gov’t will establish a Public Health Fund at a cost of $88,800,000,000. Yes that’s Billion.
Pg 865 The Gov’t will MANDATE the establishment of a National Health Service Corps.
PG 865 to 876 The NHS Corps is a program where Drs. perform mandatory HC for 2yrs for part loan repayment.
PG 876-892 The govt takes over the education of our Med students and Drs.
PG 898 The Govt will establish a Public Health Workforce Corps to ensure supply of public health prof.
PG 898 The Public health workforce corps shall consist of civilian employees of the U.S. as Secretary deems.
PG 898 The Public health workforce corps shall consist of officers of Regular & Reserve Corps of Service.
PG 900 The Public Health Workforce Corps includes veterinarians.
PG 901 The Public Health Workforce Corps WILL include commissioned Regular & Reserve Officers. HC Draft?
PG 910 The Govt will develop, build & run Public Health Training Centers.
PG 913-914 Govt starts a HC affirmative action program thru guise of diversity scholarships.
PG 915 SEC. 2251. Govt MANDDATES Cultural & linguistic competency training for HC professionals.
Pg 932 The Govt will estab Preventative & Wellness Trust fund- initial cost of $30,800,000,000-Billion.
PG 935 21-22 Govt will identify specific goals & objectives for prevention & wellness activities. Control YOU!!
PG 936 Govt will develop “Healthy People & National Public Health Perform. Standards” Tell me what to eat?
PG 942 Lines 22-25 More Gov’t? Offices of Surgeon General -Public Health Svc, Minority Health, Women’s Health
PG 950- 980 BIG GOV’T core pub health infrastructure including workforce capacity, lab systems; health info sys, etc
PG 993 Gov’t will establish school based health clinics. Your kids won’t have a chance.
PG 994 School Based Health Clinic will be integrated into the school environment. Say GOVT Brainwash!
PG 1001 The Govt will establish a National Medical Device Registry. Will you be tracked?
Ending With a Smile
Clinton kitchen gadgets.
Father Beachem’s Birthday Party
While my twin brother Joey and I weren’t quite as different as Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzeneggar in the movie “Twins”, there are very few occasions when we are mistaken for one another.
Of course we are not, to state an understatement, identical twins, thus any physical resemblance we have to each other is the same as any brother would have with another. And, indeed, Joey and I do look enough alike to be identified as the Beachem brothers. Beyond that, in terms of our habits, likes, dislikes, temperaments and that sort of thing, Joey and I are as different as Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzeneggar.
To begin with, Joey is a priest. I, while a devout Catholic as was my upbringing and as my parents raised both me, Joey, and our sister Christine, could never be a priest. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
In fact, though, most folks would, without making previous acquaintance with either I or Joey, would likely point to me as the priest while he would be considered the party boy, the guy constantly telling the jokes, the fellow surrounded by admirers and sought out by all for his sparkling company. Yet there you have it. Joey is known to most of the world as Father Beachem while I am called, simply, Jeffie.
“Let me get this straight,” I said with a simmering seethe to my sister that day in early April after her suggestion that we throw a surprise birthday party for brother Joey. “You want to throw a surprise birthday party for my twin brother? I mean, come on Chris, I know Joey and I are not much alike what with being twins and everything, but we were born on the same day. Did it occur to you that it would also be my birthday too?”
“Aw Jeffie…I’m sorry,” my sister said, giving me a hug of reconciliation. “I thought you would understand.” With this Christine walked over to a corner stool in my apartment, only one of two places to sit in my humble and barely furnished apartment.
“This year your birthday also falls on the day Joey takes his final vows for the priesthood. I thought it would be a great thing to throw him a combination of a surprise party as well as a celebration of his final vows. I knew it was also your birthday, Jeffie,” with this Christine stopped and grabbed a curl of her head hair and began twisting on it with an intensity. “But the last time we threw both you and Joey a surprise party you totally freaked out. You screamed and cried and made me and Mom swear to never do such a thing again. It’s strange that now you are complaining because I did promise never to throw a surprise party for you again, Jeffie, if you remember. But I never made such a promise to Joey and somehow it doesn’t seem fair that just because you don’t like surprise parties that Joey should never have another one. And I wouldn’t even be doing this but it’s also the day he takes those final vows.”
Christine had by then twisted that hank of hair around so tight that I figured it had to be hurting her.
Everything Christine said was true enough. She and my Mom threw a surprise birthday party for me and Joey’s 14th birthday and it was just awful. See, whereas Joey is outgoing and loves a crowd, I like to sit in the background and watch the action. I tend to get tongue-tied when confronted by strangers and for sure females scare the bejabbers out of me. At the tender and scary age of 14 it was all I could do to keep from passing out from fear the day of me and Joey’s surprise birthday party and add to this Christine invited about twelve girls from our school and talk about terror.
“I was hoping you would cook for the event, Jeffie,” Christine said in a small, very timid voice.
Suddenly I became animated. Wow. Cooking for a party, preparing various but classy appetizers, making up a tasty and fine main dish. My mind wrapped around the concept and soon I was making up mental lists of groceries and preparation techniques.
For as shy as I am around people and all that being in the company of strangers entails, I am exactly the opposite in my enthusiasm level for preparing food for those same strangers. Since I was a toddler, so my Mom tells me, I’ve always liked the stove, food, and cooking. In fact, I just recently got promoted to head Chef at Amour De Mer, the restaurant of my current employ. I loved cooking for the restaurant patrons indeed but it’s always been my dream to have my own catering firm where I can bring joy and celebration to life’s major events via my own carefully chosen and prepared foods. I began to mentally compile the menu.
“I can tell you like the idea, Jeffie,” Christine said, interrupting my reverie.
I let out a quiet chuckle. “You want me to cater my twin brother’s birthday party,” I said, bemused. “And yet,” I continued, looking to the air for the sentiment I wanted to express, “I want to do it. Let’s put the emphasis on Joey’s priesthood vows and downplay the birthday thing. I don’t want the fact that it’s my birthday to detract from Joey’s celebration.” Christine nodded affirmative to my requirements. I considered a brothy minestrone would be a fine soup course. I’d make the pasta myself.
Christine came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I really don’t want to hurt your feelings, Jeffie. I love you as much as I do Joey. And if I thought you wouldn’t get all upset, I’d be planning and throwing a surprise party for both of my twin brothers.” Christine walked over to the door and stopped before turning the handle for exit. “It’s about time you got over Marianne, Jeffie. Maybe there will be a special female at the party.”
I threw my dishtowel across the room at my sister. “Don’t even THINK of trying to set me up, Christine. I’m doing just fine with the females and I hardly remember Marianne.”
Which was not true at all except for that bit about forbidding my sister from setting me up with some girl. It’d been almost a year since Marianne and I broke up but I still ached like the dickens for her. Alas, it was not meant to be. Marianne left to attend graduate school late last summer and she never came back. She sent me a “dear Jeff” letter and hey, I deal with it. Broken hearts heal but they take time.
Joey is a wonderful priest. Although I didn’t suppose he’d be officially a priest until those final vows but if one were to choose out of the two of us who would end up the priest, most would pick me. I am shy, withdrawn, quiet, and with an “almost holy” air about me, as Marianne once phrased it. I thought it was a compliment at the time but I guess not.
Joey’s sermons always keep the congregation alert, he enjoys meeting many new people, he tells jokes and makes humorous observations and he is beloved immediately as soon as one should meet him. He is devoted to the Catholic faith although many might not think so. “If I have a personality that draws people to the church Jeffie,” he would tell me, “then I consider that God gave me that talent for a reason.”
Although I’ve heard often enough through the years that it would seem I was more priestly, common sense would dictate, if one thought about it, that a shy, quiet and withdrawn priest is hardly an asset to the church.
“Jeffie, you’ve positively outdid yourself,” Christine told me the night of the intended surprise party. I watched my sister chew on a bacon-wrapped shrimp thoughtfully and I beamed. I’d worked for almost three weeks planning, preparing and purchasing all foodstuffs for this party and in less than an hour my twin brother would arrive. Joey will love having a surprise party. Earlier in the afternoon Christine and my folks had a little party for me with a small cake and gifts. It was perfect for me and now I would shine with the food spread I’d prepared and that was okay with me. One of the better things about the party is that I would not have to stand around all wooden and awkward. I could busy myself with the food and my interaction with the guests would be so much more comfortable in my role as caterer than as one of the subjects of the party. My brother the priest would do so much better as the focus of the festivities.
“Christine I don’t know how you found all of our high school friends but Joey will love it,” I told my sister as I stirred the minestrone and tested the tenderloins for temperature. “I must admit it’s been great for me to see them again as well.”
My sister beamed in pride at my compliments. I checked my watch and noted that my priestly brother would be arriving in ten minutes. It was time to get the gang all hidden away. My brother thought he was meeting me at a hotel room where I was allegedly staying for the fumigation of my apartment. Instead I would meet him in the lobby and guide him to this hotel meeting room now decorated for his special day.
“What?” I said to my brother’s voice then coming through on my cell phone. “Joey, I’ve been looking forward to this all week. I can’t have a birthday party without my twin brother!”
“I’ll be there, Jeffie. It’s just that I’ve got some things to tend to here. Don’t get so upset. It’s just our family. They’ll understand.”
Of course I couldn’t tell Jeffie that a bevy of our friends and family awaited his arrival so they could shout “SURPRISE” as he walked into the room because the event was, duh, a surprise. But Joey didn’t know this and he had a delay of some sort and he figured it was just a quiet get-together with our family so he phoned me up to casually tell me about the delay. Inside I was freaking out.
The guests were by now getting restless. And hungry. I told the guests that Joey would be late but that he gave his blessing for all to begin eating and hopefully he would arrive in time to open the gifts. Besides, my tenderloin on crispy toast points was beginning to dry out so I was anxious to get the folks eating my creations.
An hour passed by before I even knew it and oddly, no one even asked about Joey. I spent the time checking and adjusting my smorgasbord and I did quite enjoy the many compliments and the sheer joy of seeing so many enjoying my food.
All party attendees filled their plates, many two and three times, and laughter could be heard filling the room. I circulated amongst the guests, checking their food, answering questions, promising recipes, assuring many that soon enough I would have my own catering service. It was great to see so many of our friends from school, including Linda Halpern, former cheerleader and once the object of my unknown-to-her affections.
“How have you been doing, Jeffie?” she said once I got free of another group of high school chums to pay her some singular attention. “I just can’t tell you how wonderful this food is. You’ve always been a good cook. I remember that time you prepared all the food for our senior football banquet and what a great time we all had.”
I promised Linda the recipe for my crusted tilapia and she handed me her business card so I could call her with it. Linda cautioned me not to email it as she often let her email pile up. I asked Linda how she was doing with Martin, our high school’s star quarterback who she married right after graduation and she told me they’d been divorced three years now. It crossed my mind that the tilapia recipe might give me another chance to meet Linda. I quickly pushed such a notion out of my head as I noted that my priestly brother was still nowhere to be found and the guests were again getting restless.
“You want me to do what?” I struggled to keep my voice down as I finally reached Joey and he told me to open up his gifts for him.
“The Bishop is here, Jeffie. I can’t just walk out. It’s family, Jeff. They’ll understand. Tell Mom that as soon as I get there I promise to spend the whole evening with them. We’ll catch up. Have Mom and Dad hold their gifts till I get there but I understand Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Bill need to leave. Open YOUR gift from them and mine will probably be the same.”
It was all starting to get so complicated. Joey was still laboring, wherever he and the Bishop were, under the assumption that his birthday party as scheduled was a simple gathering of our close family and I was at a point where I might have to tell him the truth. It wasn’t as if I’d be opening gifts from Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Bill and it simply would not do for me to open up all the gifts from our family and friends at Joey’s surprise party. They brought gifts for Joey and he should be the one opening them. I got my sister Christine and put her on the phone with Joey. I figured I was the chef, let her figure out how to handle this.
“Jeffie, we’ve got a web cam hookup,” Christine told me after speaking with Joey for five minutes. Chris pointed to some object over in the far corner which I could not see but I guess it was supposed to be a web cam. “I’m going to explain to the guests that Joey’s been tied up doing priest stuff and he is watching on the web cam. You will open his gifts in his place. Be sure to hold them up in front of the web cam. We told the guests this was a surprise for Joey’s final vows of the priesthood. I don’t even think they know it’s either you or Joey’s birthday. I feel bad about you having to open Joey’s gifts but you insisted that there never be another surprise party…”
I waved off Christine’s concerns in the confusion and oddity of the situation. Before I knew it gifts were piled up in front of me and the whole absurdity of it all faded away. I opened the boxes and held up the shirts and socks and gift certificates to something over in the corner, hoping my brother was seeing these gifts and pondering if my cake icing was holding up in the kitchen.
After the gift weirdness, I got the cake and did have to touch up my fine buttercream icing a bit. I put 28 candles on the cake and asked my sister Christine if Joey was still on the web cam so we could sing Happy Birthday to him.
“Let me take this, Jeffie,” Christine said, taking the cake from my arms. “You worked hard enough baking the thing and making all the food. You’ve been a real gem, Jeffie. You go out and sit with the guests. Yes, Joey’s still on the web cam so he’ll see us singing Happy Birthday to him.”
I blew an exasperated breath wind up my face. This was certainly turning out quite unexpectedly what with Joey not here for his own surprise birthday party. I did, as I thought in muse before handing over my exquisite cake to my sister, having a good time in spite of the guest of honor’s non-arrival. I supposed he’d get here sooner or later and at least our immediate family could have a small party and spend time with him.
I managed to get a seat next to Linda Halpern, just by accident, and was surprised to see a big Movie screen come down from the ceiling. My brother, bigger than life and garbed in his priestly vestments, appeared on the screen. At the same time my sister came in with the cake, all 28 candles lit and burning brightly.
“SURPRISE!” both my sister with the burning cake and my brother on the TV screen shouted and I looked around as to just who was being surprised.
“Surprise, Jeffie. This was the most difficult thing to pull off. I told Christine it would never work but she managed to do it.” After these words my mother gave me a peck on the cheek and my Dad bashfully held out his hand for a shake.
“Happy Birthday, Jeffie,” my brother’s voice boomed from the movie screen. The guests were all murmuring amongst themselves at this sudden turn of events. I was numb from trying to figure it out.
“Let’s all sing Happy Birthday to Jeffie,” my sister said, holding up that cake with the 28 lit candles. “This is the only way we could give him any kind of birthday party, much less a surprise party. We knew any gift you would bring for Joey would suit Jeffie for the most part. Jeffie, I hated to do this but I watched you. You had a good time at your birthday party…which your twin brother deliberately missed just so we could surprise you. I know you did.” Christine then leaned over and whispered in my ear: “I also knew you wouldn’t hear of me setting you and Linda Halpern up but I see it worked out too.”
Everyone in the room was laughing and singing Happy Birthday to ME. I looked around at all my high school chums, my family, my Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Bill, and Linda Halpern. In fact I did have a great time.
It’s been five years now since that famous 28th birthday party. My brother finally did take his final vows and I learned such a thing is not the sort of activity that takes one afternoon. Linda and I are married and we jointly own J&J’s catering firm. My brother the priest is a silent partner. We have one son, Joseph, named after his beloved Uncle, and Linda expects our daughter, Jane Christine, in three months.
It was the surprise birthday party of a lifetime. If my sister had listened to me, I’d probably still be cooking for Amour de Mer, still be a lonely single guy, still be….
Ah, but Christine didn’t listen to me, now did she?
Food Network Star Down to Final Two
Food Network Star Web Site HERE
The final three, Debbie, Melissa and Jeffrey, all eagerly entered the big challenge on the episode aired 7/26/09. A whole bunch of important food people across the planet were gathered together to judge an entire meal which was to be served by each contender. Each contender was also to give a nice delivery that would best present their TV on-camera persona as well as actually demonstrate the preparation of one of their dishes.
As these things often go, former contenders returned to help out the finalists. In this case Jamika, Michael and Katie returned to be the sous chefs.
The sub-story of this night was the upcoming premiere of the “Julia” movie, a big deal to foodies I must imagine. The movie is based loosely on Julia Child’s life super-imposed with the modern day life of a woman who decided to make every recipe in Julia’s famous cookbook and write a Blog about it.
Each contender was given a thousand dollars for ingredients and Jeffrey only spent not quite $400. Right at the completion of his shopping trip Jeff worried why his total was not more and the viewer was left knowing this would come back to haunt Jeffrey.
Melissa’s dinner was almost perfect. The judges had very little to complain about her dinner of flattened chicken, which she demonstrated perfectly using a big skillet to flatten her chicken, her potato in pastry with bacon and a dessert plate of pastry and cheese. I think Melissa’s going to win this thing and I think that ending was telegraphed in this episode.
For Jeffrey’s Italian Seafood Rissoto was horrible and even dumb old me, hardly any expert cook, knew that to cook something so starchy ahead of time would not work. Jeffrey had a plan to kind of half cook the dish and it sounded good but the criticism of the final dish was vicious with one food expert calling it an insult to Italian cooking.
Debbie made her signature combination of SOUL and SEOUL cooking. She made a dessert using wonton dough and it turned out that for some people, the dough was not cooked.
Besides this, Bobby Flay had been complaining constantly that while he liked the notion of SOUL and SEOUL, he felt that Debbie’s SEOUL food was not nearly seasoned enough as one would certainly expect from Korean food. I think Debbie went down for her cooking failures as much as anything.
By the time most readers read this The Next Food Network Star will likely already be announced.
I am writing this three days before the finale and I’ll risk it and state that I think Melissa’s going to win this thing.
Jillian Chooses Ed
By the time of this writing, the Final Rose ceremony has passed, the Men Tell All and the After the Rose thing has aired.
Jillian chose Ed, as I predicted. All the signs were there. I still think his odd return to work was all a script for having to delay the meeting of Jillian and his parents for some reason.
As for the men telling all, Wes, the infamous country singer who allegedly had a girlfriend, did not appear on the Men Tell All episode. The reason for his non-appearance is HERE.
The truth of the matter, as Wes asserts angrily, is that he did NOT have a girlfriend and he feels he was maligned unfairly by the other contenders for Jillian’s love.
Well of course he was. They have to have SOME drama. Wes was a perfect foil, what with his aspirations to stardom with his singing, the fact that he DID have a girlfriend as did all of the guys vying for Jillian’s love. In fact, I’d tell Wes that he followed his part of the script just fine, implying with smirks and innuendo that he did have a girlfriend. I think it was also part of the script to keep Wes out of the Men Tell All show to keep it all a mystery; make it seem more real.
On the Final Rose show, a two hour drawn out affair that was just boring, no other word for it, we had young Reid show back up to once again beg Jillian for her hand. Now Jillian had already sent Reid packing so I don’t know by which rules ABC allowed the guy to return. The whole return was couched in such a manner that Jillian only sent Reid home because he wouldn’t “commit” to her, that she really loved Reid most of all. So far as I could see, Reid committed to Jillian as much as any other contender. Remembering here that these were guys that might be lopped out of the competition, boom. I don’t think many of us would be laying our feelings out on the line for all the world to see our rejection. Thus we tend to hold back that while we might be hurt, at least we may save some pride.
I think it was scripted for one of two possible reasons, maybe both. First, again, there had to be SOME drama, some sudden surprise, on the Final Rose show. It was bad enough to have that thing go two long hours but without the Reid surprise it would have been nigh on impossible without putting the entire viewing audience to sleep. Second, I think Reid’s a possibility for the next Bachelor.
Ed and Jillian did make their debut as a couple for the first time in a public setting. Heh. At least as they said. We got another look at last year’s rejected lady, Melissa Rycroft, who went on to come in third in Dancing With the Stars and is now engaged.
Jillian and Ed look like they make a nice couple and unlike Molly and Jason of last season’s Bachelor, they said that they are now actually living together, no not in Canada, but in Ed’s hometown.
It’s now time to await the announcement of the next Bachelor, usually a rejected fellow chosen from the prior season. It could be Kypton or Reid, as I indicated above. Chris Harrison, the show’s host, did not announce the next Bachelor but urged the viewing audience to go to ABC’s web site and vote for the next Bachelor.
Reid is only 25 years old, please bear in mind.
I think it will probably be Kypton. Who did NOT seem all that heartbroken by Jillian’s rejection, I might add.
HGTV’s “Design Star” a Refreshing Reality Show
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