Monday

Week Passed:Deep Throat;Houses Slide; Fiction-Award Winning Story from Book; TV-Fox's "Hell's Kitchen".

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Sunday Political Talk Shows
It was Deep Throat all the time. At some point all the players in that ridiculous over-hyped saga of American history were on some show. Though tennis spared us from “Meet the Press”.

The Amnesty International loon, that organization that called Gitmo another “gulag” was on Fox News Sunday. Mike Wallace, God Bless Him, asked him:

“Did you contribute the maximum allowed to John Kerry’s presidential campaign?” The loon answered that he did, but, but, but…

“Did you contribute $1,000 to Ted Kennedy’s senate campaign?”
Again the loon answered that he did, but, but, but.

No buts about it. The Dems are behind this Amnesty International foolishness. It doesn’t matter if they embarrass America. It’s all about THEM and THEIR power.

America Teen Missing in Aruba
Natalee Holloway had her bags packed and passport at the ready. But she never met the plane that would bring her back to Atlanta.

There will be an update on this in tomorrow’s true crime update.

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International

EU Constitution Rejected by Dutch and British

It was a sad, bad week for Jacques Chirac and the elites currently crafting the EU constitution that we may know bleu cheese from Rocquefort.

The Dutch and the French voters turned the EU constitution down handily, by a two to one vote in Holland.

Scuttlebutt has it that England is thinking of not even putting the issue to their voters.

Original Post Here
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National

Deep Throat Identity Revealed
In retrospect it’s all rather tawdry. A bitter snitch who was found guilty for the SAME crimes for which he turned this country’s history upside down, turned out to be the man they called Deep Throat during the Watergate controversy.

Original Post Here

New SEC Chief Nominated
Consensus is that Chris Cox is a good man for the job.

Which means the two or three Democrats left in the Senate will filibuster.
Original Post Here

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Bush press conference
Two surprises during this month’s promised press conference.

Original Post HERE

LaGuna Beach California Houses Sliding Down Hill
Red Cross opens disaster center and no one comes from the multi-million mansions to sleep on the offered floor.

Original Post HERE

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Job Numbers Report Not Up to Expectations
So WHO made the predictions? Based on what?
Original Post HERE
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The Supremes

Arthur Andersen Verdict Thrown Out
Still not decided if case to be tried again.


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True Crime

Ohio High School Graduate Shoots Family/Friends at Graduation Celebration
And no one seems to know why.

Original Post Here

Papa Jackson Defends Son
Using an argument you won’t believe.

Original Post HERE

Watch to Hit the Radar This Coming Week

When All Else Fails, Impeach the Guy
Taking a page from Watergate, the latest Democratic attack on the lawfully elected President is to formulate, from thin air if need be, an impeachment argument.

Puff it up to something way bigger than it is, get an “unnamed source” and boom, invented crimes.

Loser John F. Kerry is expected to bring up just such an issue this coming week.

When congress finally returns from the Memorial Day Recess while the President was back in DC and working, wink, wink.

Political Cartoon of the Week
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Flower Power

" Don't go near this bush. It's Mrs. Price's prize hydrangea. It's over 50 years old, is well established and needs no effort from the gardening staff."

Harold "Boots" Malone made a mental note of this warning from his new boss, the Price Estate's head gardener.

"Just get yourself on the inside," his friend and cell mate Lenny "Eyebrows" Sharp had told him. Boots and Eyebrows had both been serving time for breaking and entering at which time Boots learned a thing or two about thievery from the more experienced Eyebrows.

"Once inside, study the place. Learn the weaknesses of the security system. Find out who on the staff is a goof- off. Sooner or later you'll find a flaw in every system. Then when I get out of here, Boots, we'll be ready to make a big score. Me and you will never have to work another day in our life, even at being a thief."

Eyebrows let out a loud guffaw with this witticism and slapped Boots on the back. Boots was scheduled for release the following day. Eyebrows had another three months to serve. The pair had plotted and schemed away the prison hours. Their final plan was to have Boots get on the inside of some fabulously wealthy estate and survey the setup. If Eyebrows was right, Boots would figure out what was worth taking and pinpoint the weak points in security.

It didn't take Boots long to discover the Price Estate held a wealth of expensive jewels. They were all carefully stored in the mansion's big wall safe but Boots had soon enough discovered the weak point Eyebrows had predicted would exist.

At first Boots was dismayed to discover that all household and garden help were routinely searched upon exit for any valuables that might be hidden on their persons. Then he remembered Eyebrows' admonition.

"Just pay attention and the first day I'm out of here, tell me the layout. There's no fence I can't climb, no barriers to hold me in. I'm counting on you to be the sleuth," Eyebrows told Boots the day he left jail.

Boots was quite proud at having discovered the hole in security within the first week of his employment. Seems old Wanda Price liked to take a nap in the sunroom every afternoon. Many days the nap followed an afternoon out for Mrs. Price, at which time she often wore some of her pricier jewels. Only the jewels tended to poke and prod Mrs. Price as she snored in her rocker, so before falling asleep she would remove her necklaces and bracelets and lay them on the table by the rocker.

It was Boots' job to water all the plants in the sunroom.

"Just walk around quietly and water the plants. The old lady sleeps sound and you won't wake her," the foreman had told Boots.

One day Boots stuffed an exquisite sapphire necklace and diamond bracelet into the pockets of his overalls. The old lady didn't stir. All Boots had to do was figure out where to hide the jewels until Eyebrows got paroled. Then Boots could leave the retrieval up to Eyebrows.

Since Boots couldn't carry the jewelry past the main gate due to the daily inspection, he was very proud of himself when he came up with the idea of burying the jewels below the prized hydrangea. The gardener foreman said no one else went near the thing, so Boots crouched below the pendulous branches, dug a hole and with the jewelry safely deposited in a clean can, buried the loot close to the bush's roots and where no one should wander.

'Eyebrows will figure how to climb that wall, dig up the jewelry and get out of here without detection. He'll be so proud of me,' Boots thought after burying his tenth can full of jewels. Mrs. Price never seemed to remember the jewelry she'd removed during her afternoon nap

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Indeed, Eyebrows was very proud of the job Boots had done, both in the sleuthing and the stash that awaited below the old hydrangea. As promised, Eyebrows figured out how to silence the alarms and scale the big wall. Boots led him to the hydrangea. The pair begin to dig and within a few minutes were pulling up cans full of priceless jewels.

"Okay, hands up," a voice shouted from a loud speaker. Boots and Eyebrows turned to the sound but were blinded by the brightness of a flood light fixed upon them.

"Thought you guys were going to get away with some jewelry, didja?" the crusty detective said as he twisted the handcuffs on the thieving pair.

Eyebrows shot Boots a disgusted look.

"I don't know how they could know, Eyebrows, honest. No one was ever around when I buried the cans," Boots whined.

Old Mrs. Price let out a horse laugh.

"It took a while before I began missing my jewels. Then I had no idea how to find them. We were sure no one had left the property with them. Too bad the old hydrangea bush gave you away."

Mrs. Price pointed to the big bush. The eyes of Boots and Eyebrows followed the point but saw nought but the bush's huge blue blossoms.

"This hydrangea's been blooming pink for the past 49 years. This year we have blue blooms. And you know why is this?"

Neither Boots or Eyebrows had any horticultural experience much less knowing the color of hydrangea blooms.

Mrs. Price brayed loudly . "Because of the metal from the cans you buried so close to its roots! Hydrangea blooms reflect the acidity of the soil. Your tin cans began to rust and leach into the soil. When the bush's roots soaked up the acid it changed the color of the blooms. I had the foreman dig around and guess what he found?"

Mrs. Price held up an old tomato soup can for Boots and Eyebrows to view.

"And since we found the jewels, we figured it was only a matter of time before the thieves came to retrieve their treasures," Mrs. Price finished her spiel and laughed again.

"You boys are going back to the slammer to plan your next heist. Plan to stay away from flowers, though," the detective said, pushing the pair to the waiting police car.

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"Hell's Kitchen"

On Monday, 5/30/05, Fox premiered another reality show. This one is called "Hell's Kitchen". Which is a restaurant in Hollywood that the finalist will win if said finalist makes it through twelve elimination rounds. One such elimination happened in the first episode.

The show relies a lot on Chef Ramsey, a nasty fellow who is the arbiter of all things food. There's a lot of The Apprentice on this show in that contestants are eliminated on a weekly basis and after some sort of challenge. Contestants are also split into teams and there's the drama of the interaction, one such interesting drama that will set the scene for weeks to come occurred last night in the premiere episode.

As best I could I collected the names of all contestants, following:

Jessica-headhunter
Dewberry-baker
Andrew-office assitant
Wendy, account manager
Elsie, administrative assistant.
Mary Ellen-bartender
Michael, Chef
Jimmy-purchasing supervisor
Ralph, chef
Jeff
Carolann, administrative assistant
Elsie

And then there's Jeanne Phillipe, the maitre d' imported from London for class and color.

As for Chef Ramsey, it isn't lost on me that his nastiness is supposed to be part of the fabric of the show. If last night was any indication, this man is totally not believable.

Chef Ramsey Posted by Hello


Someone needs to tell Fox that the secret to developing a harsh persona into a character of interest is by putting something loveable in the character. Simon, on American Idol, is such a character. Dr. House, on Fox's show "House" is another.

Both of these characters are harsh, strange and often critical. But each also has a softness that can be mined from time to time. So far, Chef Ramsey has demonstrated no soft side. If Fox thinks those little vignettes where Ramsey discusses the videoed events, when he states firmly that to go easy on his charges would be to help create a chef destined for failure and yes, the great chef cares too much, makes up for his dumping food on the would-be chefs or unceremoniously throwing it in the trash, then Fox needs to think again.

Although the producers think it is just these incidences when Ramsey is angrily berating his charges or thrusting a plate full of food on their body that will most enthrall viewers.

And last night it was a bit of a hoot to witness such a thing. Over and over we watched Ramsey hold up a plate of risotto that was stuck to the bowl, or pull a young contestant aside and spend many minutes just screaming and berating him. In other words it is this type of dysfunctional behavior that the camera hones in on.

I don't think that's enough to carry the show.

He also appears to have no idea how to run a restaurant.

It might be nice to see Chef Ramsey actually try to TEACH someone something for a change of pace. His many methods of humiliating people will wear thin after many more episodes.

Also, the premise of this first show stretched my believability in Chef Ramsey. The challenge was to have the contestants in charge of opening the Hell's Kitchen restaurant. Customers came into the new and hip eatery and sat. And they sat. And they sat.

While two would-be chefs were assigned to be waiters constantly warned Ramsey that people were getting angry and leaving, the vaunted Chef would not allow but few dishes to pass his inspection and be served to those who ordered.

Once a chef-waiter warned that a couple had been waiting two hours. Ramsey said he didn't care and this was a bit way out for me to swallow. If this fellow had been a Chef then surely he knew that getting the food to the diners was paramount. Yes, service and taste are important but His Imperiousness was fussy and critical and his emotions seemed to take precedence over actually serving the customers.

Chef Ramsey doesn't hold his nastiness to his chef trainees either. He hurled insults to several customers as well, another unbelievable action albeit kind of funny as it was meant to be.

Finally Ramsey "closed" down the kitchen leaving the diplomat Jeanne Phillipe with the task of notifying those customers still waiting for dinner.

A strange thing, this closing of the restaurant's kitchen, but still a hoot.

The "blue team" won and a contestant named Carolann was eliminated.

It is only now that the individual personalities of the contestants begin to gel for the viewers.

Elsie of the red team was blessed by Chef Ramsey with a compliment and charged with choosing two teammates for elimination. From these two Ramsey would decide on one to be sent home.

Viewers are treated to a scene where Elsie discusses the contest with Dewberry (yes, that's his name). Dewberry laments that he'll not be upset if he's sent home; that it all was a grand experience. Elsie pats him on the back and tells him he's not going anywhere. Since Elsie was in charge of choosing two teammates to be considered for elimination by Chef Ramsey, Dewberry thought he was safe.

In the boardroom, oops, sorry, it was a kitchen, Elsie named Dewberry to both the viewers' and Dewberry's shock.

Since Dewberry wasn't chosen for elimination by Chef Ramsey he'll still be around for future challenges and Dewberry vowed to get even with Elsie. Thus setting up an inter-contestant drama to entice viewers to tune in.

Which I shall for at least one more episode. I'm entertained by Ramsey's anger and haughtiness but the show will have to offer more substance than just a nasty guy being nasty to people to keep my interest through twelve elimination rounds.

Finally, I'd like to add that the constant bleeps of Chef Ramsey's vulgar language is very annoying. The bleeps are supposed to add dimension to Ramsey's nastiness I suppose but hey, it's really not cute. Not at all.

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