TV-ABC's "Dancing With the Stars"-Two Eliminations; Fox's "Celebrity Duets"-Cheech Still Hanging On

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TV review time and we go over ABC's "Dancing With the Stars", an interesting competition revving up American intrigue.

And Fox's "Celebrity Duets" winds down and the very worst singer since the beginning is still in the running. Go figure.

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Quote of the Day
When Insults Had Class

  • "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
    -- Winston Churchill
  • "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
    -- Winston Churchill
  • "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
    -- Clarence Darrow
  • "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
    -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
  • "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
    -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
  • "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
    -- Moses Hadas
  • "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
    -- Abraham Lincoln
  • "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
    -- Groucho Marx
  • "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
    -- Mark Twain
  • "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
    -- Oscar Wilde
  • "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
    -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
  • "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
    -- Winston Churchill, in response
  • "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
    -- Stephen Bishop
  • "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
    -- John Bright
  • "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
    -- Irvin S. Cobb
  • "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
    -- Samuel Johnson
  • "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
    -- Paul Keating
  • "He had delusions of adequacy."
    -- Walter Kerr
  • "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
    -- Jack E. Leonard

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    One smart fellow, he felt smart.
    Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
    Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.

    She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
    The shells she sells are surely seashells.
    So if she sells shells on the seashore,
    I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

    A Tudor who tooted a flute
    tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
    Said the two to their tutor,
    "Is it harder to toot
    or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

    One-One was a racehorse.
    Two-Two was one, too.
    When One-One won one race,
    Two-Two won one, too.

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    Dancing With the Stars

    According to the ABC Web Site for this competition, the Mambo requires rhythmic hips and quick moves. The Quick Step requires 100 steps per minute and can include variations such as the Charleston. I’m not at all sure exactly who sets these standards but I must assume there is some committee or another somewhere that writes up the rules for such as dance names and steps for each.

    On 9/19/06-this year’s ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars began its second round. All of the dancers, in my quick and dirty assessment, performed way better than the first round. Which is at it should be.

    Willa Ford started out with a Mambo. She had a great outfit and hey, the lady has a great body to accompany the outfit. I loved the double arm action Willa and her partner choreographed. The judges called her “fantastic”, but a “bit out of control”. Willa was one of the bottom two in the following evening’s elimination round.

    Harry Hamlin, husband of last year’s contender Lisa Rinna, performed much better than his first performance and came in with 21 points out of 30. Hamlin wore a dashing tuxedo with tails. I noticed he looks very thin, much thinner than I’d ever seen this star of “LA Law”. I noticed his steps were simple (he and his partner did a Quick Step) and a discerning eye can easily ascertain that dancing is not a natural gift of Hamlin.

    The judges declared that Hamlin was “coming out of his shell”.

    Monique Coleman did the Mambo. I thought Monique appeared to tire during her dance performance but I did note the very good footwork in this dance routine.

    The judges declared that Monique was “bringing sexy back”.

    Dance Stars 3rd elimination-finalists

    Mario Lopez and his partner performed a Quick Step. I thought Mario looked very debonair and showed great footwork. The judges, however, positively excoriated the pair for dancing “too little Quick Step”. This is a fault of the professional dance partner as I see it. The contestants have enough to do just learning the steps without having to worry about whether the dance is choreographed as it should be.

    Shana Moakler danced a Mambo wearing some sort of flapper bathing suit. Worse, the accompanying song was some sort of rap tune that I hated.

    Shana was eliminated the following night. The judges declared she was “not quite there” and the voting audience agreed.

    Dance with stars…Moakler, Lawrence

    Jerry Springer, tabloid talk show host extraordinaire, wore a snappy pin stripe suit. At one point during his and his partner’s routine he actually did a Charleston. I also saw, or my lying eyes deceived me, one “dance step” that resembled a knee in the groin to me.

    Before Springer and his partner began their dance there was a little drama. It seems that Springer’s professional dance partner had a serious knee injury. Well you gotta have this sort of thing in a competition like this. Makes the dancers look like true heroes, dancing all injured like that. The judges declared that they didn’t notice the injury during the dance performance. Springer got 19 out of a possible 30 points.

    Viveca Fox did a Mambo and she was the best looking female dancer of the night. I thought she didn’t move her feet very fast and at times the couple seemed out of sync.

    The judges “loved the spins” but one judge stipulated, in tune with my initial assessment, that the leg action seemed a little “doughy”.

    Joey Lawrence was the dancer of this night. He and his partner performed a Quick Step. I was impressed by the complexity of their footwork and they showed great facial expressions. The dance team’s outfits were perfectly coordinated.

    A just declared it the “performance of the night” and, indeed, the dance team got 29 points out of a possible 30.

    Sara Evans performed a Mambo with her dancing partner. I thought her dance partner did an outstanding job but I thought Evans’ footwork was a bit slow.

    One judge declared that Sara “danced too carefully”, once again affirming my initial and inexperienced assessment.

    Emmit Smith is America’s favorite in this year’s series. At least judging by the audience applause and hey, the fellow seems to really enjoy himself and his enthusiasm is engaging.

    The judges said his footwork was not very fast for a Quick Step. Still, this team got 24 points out of a possible 30.

    First Review 2006 Contest HERE

    Below-Last Year’s Reviews of This Contest.


    Fox’s “Celebrity Duets”-Three Left

    This new reality series seems hell bent on a confusing twist and turn path until I don’t know what’s going on. This coming week there will only be three finalists competing with the grand finale on Friday 9/29/06.

    I knew that Jai Rodriguez was eliminated although he performed the best the night of this round, 9/21/06. Somewhere along the line and flying way below my radar, Cheech Marin was also eliminated, as well he should have been.

    I suspect that Fox knows this show is not a winner. The celebrity singers recruited for this competition are NOT normally known for their singing. The problem with this premise is that the ersatz celebrity “singers” never become better singers as the contest progresses.

    With practice we can all learn to skate or dance better. But no matter how much we practice, our voices remain the same. Thus the competition is boring and stale as the competitors don’t sing all that well even when teamed with professional singers of the highest caliber.

    Celeb duets 2006-final five

    According to the Fox web site for the series, the final three that will compete in the upcoming week are Lucy Lawless, Alfonso Rubiero and Hal Sparks.

    Jai Rodriguez, who was eliminated on 9/22/06 in the elimination round, performed the best although, go figure, the audience voted him out. He sang with Patti LaBelle and I enjoyed their duet.

    Cheech Marin, who I have complained about right along as being on level with my dog, sang with Al Jureau. One judge declared Cheech had a “lot of balls”, yes on national TV he said that, but I don’t know just why the judge claimed this.

    I think Alfonso Ribeiro is the best singer in this pathetic and lackluster series. Alfonso performed with Chaka Kahn and by me, SHE was off-key.

    Fox needs to stick to “American Idol” for its singing competition. This series was dreadful and I suspect it’s why the contest is ending soon, just to put us out of our misery.

    Cheech Sings HERE

    First Review HERE
    Second Review HERE

    More TV Reviews HERE

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